BLABBERMOUTH: EDDIE VAN HALEN Drinking Again?

[John Holmes]

I just found this on BLABBERMOUTH.NET :

http://www.roadrun.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=24248

EDDIE VAN HALEN Drinking Again? - June 29, 2004

According to BostonHerald.com, Eddie Van Halen, who has set up camp in Boston while his band tours the East Coast, "made a couple of bizarre appearances at the Back Bay boite [last week], leaving patrons and employees wondering if Eddie's in Big Trouble. First off, the big-haired axeman wandered into the Newbury Street hotspot with his own bottle of wine, which the management promptly took away. Eddie returned a few nights later, seeming raaather disoriented. He went up to a table where two young things were dining, stuck his fingers in their water glasses, then proceeded to bless them — papal style with the water — and stumble out. The rocker's camp, when contacted yesterday, had no comment."

--

Remember what Diamond Dave said on "Classic Rock" Magazine?

CR: Despite everything-the lawsuits, the insults you have periodically exchanged-you were presumably still worried when Edward had cancer?
DLR: Well, do it like a professional sportsperson, for Chrissakes. Self-medicate, and I'll see you tomorrow. I frankly don't care about your health or the family or any of it. Play ball. You're lucky enough to be able to bend it like Beckham. Get out there! Get behind the mule and go! Eddie himself did not take those illnesses so seriously. He partied all the way through them. So my sympathies are limited. At best. But beyond that, what better time to make musicthan at a time of severe strife? Use it!

--

Yours truly believes Eddie being smashed explains a whole lot of things...

John

[Cathedral]

Well, when you get news like that from a Dr. most people assume the worst and figure "Why change now?"
But after he beat it (which i still doubt) he should have had a severe check up from the neck up and realised how fragile life is and made the necessary changes to his lifestyle to prevent it from happening again.

Robert Urich is a prime example here...He thought he had beat it for about a year, then it came back and took him out inside of 3 months.

Cancer is nothing to take chances with, but people are stupid when they have so much money and the dude probably thinks he's God or something.
After that news hit the streets i was sad, then i saw him smoking at that golf tournament and i got mad...he's a dumb ass for not giving a fuck about being around for his kid. he neds his ass kicked, the spoiled ass rich fucking rock star that he was.

[John Holmes]

SIGNS YOU MAY BE EDDIE VAN HALEN AND DRINKING TOO MUCH

1. You stuck your fingers in a stranger's water glass and bless him papal style.

2. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

3. You have to hold onto the stage to keep from falling off the earth.

4. Lousy concerts interfering with your drinking.

5. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

6. Career won't progress beyond guitar player with Sammy Hagar.

7. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

8. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

9. 24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case - coincidence?

10. Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

11. You can focus better with one eye closed.

12. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

13. Your son is named after Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

14. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

15. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

16. At backstage meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."

17. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

18. The whole Back Bay boite says 'Hi' when you walk in.

19. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and soap opera actresses.

20. Every night you're beginning to find your Mikey's cat more and more attractive.

21. Sammy looks good.

22. Don't recognize ex-wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

23. That stupid pink elephant followed me home again.

24. Vince Neil and Slash shake their heads when they walk past you.

25."I'm as jober as a sudge."

26. The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

27. You brought your own bottle of wine to attend some redneck bar

[BARE BONE]

two other people have already started this thread.

[ELVIS]

I'm betting Edward is on prescription downers or possibly some other illegal narcotics...

[John Holmes]

Late at night in Boston, Eddie is staggering around with his keys in his hand, obviously lost. Policeman stops him, sez, "Hold on there fella, looks like you've had a bit too much to drink."

Drunk holds out his keys to the cop and sez, "I've losht my car."

Cop sez, "Well, I'll help you look for your car, but <quietly> first why
don't you zip up your fly."

Drunk looks down and sez, "Damn. Losht my date, too."

[John Holmes]

Eddie comes at 5150 studio one night to a row of tract houses.
Since his perception is poor in his condition, he goes up
to the wrong house. His key won't work so he starts banging
on the front door. After a few minutes, the upstairs window
is opened and a fellow hollers "You idiot. You're banging
on the wrong door."

Eddie retorts "Is that so--how do I know you're not yelling out
the wrong window?"

[John Holmes]

There are guys drinking in a bar, when another man comes in and starts drinking at the bar. After a while he approaches the guys, and, pointing at the one in the middle, shouts, "I've screwed your mom!"

The three guys look bewildered as man resumes drinking at the bar.

Ten minutes later he comes back. "Your mom's sucked my pecker!"

Same thing happens. Ten minutes later he announces, "I've had your mom up the ass!"

The young guys have had enough, and the fat long-haired one in the middle stands up and shouts, "Look, Dad, you're drunk, go home!"

[John Holmes]

Eddie Van Halen was sitting at a bar when a woman stands behind him and raises her arm really high to get the bartender's attention. She has very hairy armpits.

Eddie sees this and yells at the bartender, "Get the ballerina a drink."
She gets her drink and goes away. Later she returns and raises her arm again. Van Halen sees her and yells to the bartender, "Get the ballerina another drink." She gets her drink and goes away again.

The bartender asks Ed how he knows she is a ballerina when she was a stranger and had never been in the bar before.

Eddie Van Halen replies, "She's got to be a ballerina if she can lift her leg that high."

[John Holmes]

Eddie phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."

[John Holmes]

Eddie walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, I have cancer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"

[John Holmes]

Originally posted by ELVIS
I'm betting Edward is on prescription downers or possibly some other illegal narcotics...

I think he was taking suntan pills. I still can't find it, but there was that picture of him bearded with a moustached guy. He looked like a homeless african on acid.

[John Holmes]

Originally posted by BARE BONE
two other people have already started this thread.

If ya wanna be entertained choose this one ;-)

[John Holmes]

Originally posted by Cathedral
Well, when you get news like that from a Dr. most people assume the worst and figure "Why change now?"
But after he beat it (which i still doubt) he should have had a severe check up from the neck up and realised how fragile life is and made the necessary changes to his lifestyle to prevent it from happening again.

Robert Urich is a prime example here...He thought he had beat it for about a year, then it came back and took him out inside of 3 months.

Cancer is nothing to take chances with, but people are stupid when they have so much money and the dude probably thinks he's God or something.
After that news hit the streets i was sad, then i saw him smoking at that golf tournament and i got mad...he's a dumb ass for not giving a fuck about being around for his kid. he neds his ass kicked, the spoiled ass rich fucking rock star that he was.

It's very sad.

"I guess the cancer didn't scare him enough."

"When he passes out in the gutter in NYC Diamond Dave will come to his aid"

[John Holmes]

Someone posted it at BLABBERMOUTH:

My brother is an editor for a guitar magazine here in NYC. He was out at the NAMM convention in L.A. and called to tell me about the fiasco that was EVH. Eddie showed up to NAMM drunk off his ass, could barely walk and was rambling like a mental patient. At one point he picked up the guitar to play some material and it was horrid.

I was never a big fan of Van Hagar, all their songs remind me of coca cola commercial jingles.

Still, I like drunk eddie better then sober eddie. Now, let's get Heroin Scott Weiland back and you'll see the best Velvet Revolver record yet!!