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Originally posted by John Holmes
SIGNS YOU MAY BE EDDIE VAN HALEN AND DRINKING TOO MUCH
1. You stuck your fingers in a stranger's water glass and bless him papal style.
2. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
3. You have to hold onto the stage to keep from falling off the earth.
4. Lousy concerts interfering with your drinking.
5. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
6. Career won't progress beyond guitar player with Sammy Hagar.
7. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
8. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
9. 24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case - coincidence?
10. Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
11. You can focus better with one eye closed.
12. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
13. Your son is named after Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
14. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
15. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
16. At backstage meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
17. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
18. The whole Back Bay boite says 'Hi' when you walk in.
19. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and soap opera actresses.
20. Every night you're beginning to find your Mikey's cat more and more attractive.
21. Sammy looks good.
22. Don't recognize ex-wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
23. That stupid pink elephant followed me home again.
24. Vince Neil and Slash shake their heads when they walk past you.
25."I'm as jober as a sudge."
26. The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.
27. You brought your own bottle of wine to attend some redneck bar
SIGNS YOU MAY BE EDDIE VAN HALEN AND DRINKING TOO MUCH
1. You stuck your fingers in a stranger's water glass and bless him papal style.
2. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
3. You have to hold onto the stage to keep from falling off the earth.
4. Lousy concerts interfering with your drinking.
5. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
6. Career won't progress beyond guitar player with Sammy Hagar.
7. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
8. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
9. 24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case - coincidence?
10. Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
11. You can focus better with one eye closed.
12. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
13. Your son is named after Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
14. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
15. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
16. At backstage meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
17. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
18. The whole Back Bay boite says 'Hi' when you walk in.
19. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and soap opera actresses.
20. Every night you're beginning to find your Mikey's cat more and more attractive.
21. Sammy looks good.
22. Don't recognize ex-wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
23. That stupid pink elephant followed me home again.
24. Vince Neil and Slash shake their heads when they walk past you.
25."I'm as jober as a sudge."
26. The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.
27. You brought your own bottle of wine to attend some redneck bar
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:D
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