BLABBERMOUTH: EDDIE VAN HALEN Drinking Again?

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  • diamond den™

    #16
    Originally posted by John Holmes


    SIGNS YOU MAY BE EDDIE VAN HALEN AND DRINKING TOO MUCH

    1. You stuck your fingers in a stranger's water glass and bless him papal style.

    2. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

    3. You have to hold onto the stage to keep from falling off the earth.

    4. Lousy concerts interfering with your drinking.

    5. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

    6. Career won't progress beyond guitar player with Sammy Hagar.

    7. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

    8. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

    9. 24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case - coincidence?

    10. Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

    11. You can focus better with one eye closed.

    12. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

    13. Your son is named after Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

    14. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

    15. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

    16. At backstage meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."

    17. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

    18. The whole Back Bay boite says 'Hi' when you walk in.

    19. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and soap opera actresses.

    20. Every night you're beginning to find your Mikey's cat more and more attractive.

    21. Sammy looks good.

    22. Don't recognize ex-wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

    23. That stupid pink elephant followed me home again.

    24. Vince Neil and Slash shake their heads when they walk past you.

    25."I'm as jober as a sudge."

    26. The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

    27. You brought your own bottle of wine to attend some redneck bar
    UP THE REBELS!!!!

    [img] http://www.p45blogs.net/grasss/archives/drunk.jpeg[/img]

    :D

    Comment

    • diamond den™

      #17
      Originally posted by John Holmes


      SIGNS YOU MAY BE EDDIE VAN HALEN AND DRINKING TOO MUCH

      1. You stuck your fingers in a stranger's water glass and bless him papal style.

      2. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

      3. You have to hold onto the stage to keep from falling off the earth.

      4. Lousy concerts interfering with your drinking.

      5. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

      6. Career won't progress beyond guitar player with Sammy Hagar.

      7. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

      8. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

      9. 24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case - coincidence?

      10. Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

      11. You can focus better with one eye closed.

      12. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

      13. Your son is named after Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

      14. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

      15. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

      16. At backstage meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."

      17. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

      18. The whole Back Bay boite says 'Hi' when you walk in.

      19. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and soap opera actresses.

      20. Every night you're beginning to find your Mikey's cat more and more attractive.

      21. Sammy looks good.

      22. Don't recognize ex-wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

      23. That stupid pink elephant followed me home again.

      24. Vince Neil and Slash shake their heads when they walk past you.

      25."I'm as jober as a sudge."

      26. The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

      27. You brought your own bottle of wine to attend some redneck bar
      UP THE REBELS!!!!



      :D

      Comment

      • Cathedral
        ROTH ARMY ELITE
        • Jan 2004
        • 6621

        #18
        Originally posted by diamond den™
        UP THE REBELS!!!!



        :D
        GET A FUCKING JOB!!!!

        Comment

        • Katydid
          I am a Giant CUNT
          • Apr 2004
          • 2407

          #19
          People with addictions are trying to fill the emptiness void in their lives.

          GOD and PRAYER, plus good perscription medicine followed religously is all that ever works. Along with AA, NA, etc.

          Some say people who drink too much beer are needing B12 and Brewers yeast. If they get B12 shots and Brewers yeast from health food stores and really try they can get clean. Ticks and misquotos won't bother you either.

          Comment

          • DavidLeeNatra
            TOASTMASTER GENERAL
            • Jan 2004
            • 10715

            #20
            Originally posted by John Holmes
            It's very sad.

            "I guess the cancer didn't scare him enough."
            the look of his son should scare him...this boy has PROBLEMS...
            Roth Army Icon
            First official owner of ADKOT (Deluxe Version)

            Comment

            • Eyes of the Night
              Veteran
              • Jan 2004
              • 1993

              #21
              I dig the whole "blessing them with tap water" ... hellarious!

              Looks like Ed's having fun on this tour ... as he should, been a damn depressing few years for that pup ...

              Don't mix downers with alchohol though right Nurse Elvis!? Hence the stumbling ...


              Hmmm ...




              Broken down n' dirty dressed in rags ...

              Comment

              • RogueHorseman
                Commando
                • Apr 2004
                • 1298

                #22
                Originally posted by Eyes
                I dig the whole "blessing them with tap water" ... hellarious!

                Looks like Ed's having fun on this tour ... as he should, been a damn depressing few years for that pup ...
                Uhhhh, but this is like some kind of Dennis Rodman jackass behavior... the guy is delusional, and the chicks did not appreciate it, nor invite the sicko over to "bless" them by sticking his dirty fingers in their drinks.

                Some kind of fun... jeesh.
                <object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/K7_U-zj2gfE"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/K7_U-zj2gfE" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

                Comment

                • Eyes of the Night
                  Veteran
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 1993

                  #23
                  Dude, if Ed were to come to your table and do that what the fuck would you do? ... Fuck the chicks, those whores ...

                  I would be like "Ed!, sup dogg want to smoke a phatty!?" ...

                  It's all who you know and those bitches are just that ... bitches ...



                  Broken down n' dirty dressed in rags ...

                  Comment

                  • John Holmes

                    #24
                    Originally posted by Eyes
                    [B] Dude, if Ed were to come to your table and do that what the fuck would you do? ... Fuck the chicks, those whores ...
                    It depends on how smashed he is. Apparently he was severely hammered.

                    I would be like "Ed!, sup dogg want to smoke a phatty!?" ...

                    It's all who you know and those bitches are just that ... bitches ...
                    Probably those women couldn't give two shits about drunk Eddie, possibly even ignore who he is. After all, last time Eddie Van Halen was in a real band was 1984.

                    Comment

                    • Eyes of the Night
                      Veteran
                      • Jan 2004
                      • 1993

                      #25
                      No, they are bitches because they don't recognize eddie van halen! ...

                      It's not about before or after 84 either ... it's about knowing who the fuck the "king of six strings" is ...
                      Last edited by Eyes of the Night; 06-30-2004, 10:13 AM.
                      Broken down n' dirty dressed in rags ...

                      Comment

                      • John Holmes

                        #26
                        Originally posted by Eyes
                        No, they are bitches because they don't recognize eddie van halen! ...

                        It's not about before or after 84 either ... it's about knowing who the fuck the "king of six strings" is ...
                        Hmmm... Turn that "is" into "was" and I'll agree with you.

                        Imagine yourself in a bar and some fuck from Linkin' Park comes and sticks his dirty fingers out of his butthole into your water glass. I'd punch him in the face, regardless he's the king od DJ's or not.

                        Comment

                        • Eyes of the Night
                          Veteran
                          • Jan 2004
                          • 1993

                          #27
                          So what if it "was" instead of "is"? ... you would at the same time have respect for him giving you those 6 albums ...
                          Broken down n' dirty dressed in rags ...

                          Comment

                          • John Holmes

                            #28
                            Originally posted by Eyes
                            So what if it "was" instead of "is"? ... you would at the same time have respect for him giving you those 6 albums ...
                            No question on that.

                            But I am as well very disappointed by this fuck for wasting about 20 years of his life producing nothing or next to nothing. Because a Van Hagar album counts as zero.

                            Now he's drinking himself to death I feel pretty angry, because in a couple of months probably he'll be dead and the only thing you can't fix is death, while you still can fix a disfunctional band if you stay alive, and give the fans some pleasure, after 20 years.

                            Comment

                            • Eyes of the Night
                              Veteran
                              • Jan 2004
                              • 1993

                              #29
                              I feel your pain ... I really do, all I have are VHS boots from those 6 albums to witness the "mighty van halen" ...

                              Point IS people even on a DLR website insist to bitch and moan and let's face it EVH and his drinking problems ARE what's keeping this site alive ...


                              Haven't heard about DLR in months ...


                              No offense Holmes, you seem like a cool cat ...










                              Laterz
                              Broken down n' dirty dressed in rags ...

                              Comment

                              • scottydabodi
                                Crazy Ass Mofo
                                • Jun 2004
                                • 2541

                                #30
                                Holmes Rules

                                Dude, I modeled my whole life after you John Holmes!! ROTH ON DUDE!!
                                If you listen to fools
                                The Mob Rules

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