What's Van Halen's Next Strategic Move? A Farewell Tour? A New Album? An Imax Movie!!

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  • Terry
    TOASTMASTER GENERAL
    • Jan 2004
    • 11967

    #16
    1) Do fuck-all until cash infusion from last reunion tour begins to dwindle.

    2) Grab either Roth or Hagar, hit the road, replentish bank accounts.

    3) Repeat.
    Scramby eggs and bacon.

    Comment

    • LoungeMachine
      DIAMOND STATUS
      • Jul 2004
      • 32576

      #17
      Originally posted by Terry
      1) Do fuck-all until cash infusion from last reunion tour begins to dwindle.

      2) Grab either Roth or Hagar, hit the road, replentish bank accounts.

      3) Repeat.
      Wolfie needs to spawn in order to keep the cash cow going.....

      Originally posted by Kristy
      Dude, what in the fuck is wrong with you? I'm full of hate and I do drugs.
      Originally posted by cadaverdog
      I posted under aliases and I jerk off with a sock. Anything else to add?

      Comment

      • sonrisa salvaje
        Veteran
        • Jun 2005
        • 2098

        #18
        If they are not going to record new music i don't think there is really much to look forward to, but hey if you want real entertainment.......i say put the four original members on reality television, living in the same house for a month and see how long it takes them to kill each other. Alex would probably end up like Cato on the Pink Panther, sneaking around the house trying to attack Michael Anthony.
        RIDE TO LIVE, LIVE TO RIDE
        LET `EM ROLL ONE MORE TIME

        Comment

        • Terry
          TOASTMASTER GENERAL
          • Jan 2004
          • 11967

          #19
          Originally posted by LoungeMachine
          Wolfie needs to spawn in order to keep the cash cow going.....




          Hell, if KISS is eventually gonna go out on the road without any original members, maybe Van Halen MK 5 could open up for them. Wolfie could just ring up the Jonas Brothers to fill in for the rest of Van Halen...or Hanson. Hey, Hanson haven't done anything for a while! Between Wolfie and Hanson, they have a lead vocalist, drummer, keyboard player, guitar player AND bassist all ready to go. And Wolfie already knows the CVH songs we all love to hear, so it'll be a breeze for him to teach them to the rest of the band.

          Ed, Al, Gene and Paul can all sit backstage and count their money like the drunken, neckbraced, greedy closet cases they are, without the inconvenience of having to actually perform any of their material.
          Scramby eggs and bacon.

          Comment

          • TAKIN WHISKEY
            Commando
            • Apr 2006
            • 1190

            #20
            Their next strategic move? Seriously, if they plan on doing ANYTHING, no matter what it is, either Dave or Ed should acknowledge that a band named Van Halen even exists.

            Comment

            • dave_is_vh
              Sniper
              • Apr 2004
              • 920

              #21
              Originally posted by joe d'amato
              ... like the stones have done every year for the past twenty: a new album and the party-of-all-parties farewell tour AND a full-length imax motion picture of the concert ...
              First, EVH does not know what the word strategic means.

              Second, to answer your question, a beer and a smoke.
              "Bumper sticker on my rocket's ass: go home, the earth is full." DLR

              Comment

              • if6was9
                Head Fluffer
                • Mar 2007
                • 369

                #22
                Reunion with Hagar, I'm afraid.
                HELLO BABY!!!
                Last edited by if6was9; 02-25-2010, 12:42 PM.
                Hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla boobuhla hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla bop

                Comment

                • Vinnie Velvet
                  Full Member Status

                  • Feb 2004
                  • 4587

                  #23
                  Strategic?

                  VH has had no stragety to their operation in decades.
                  =V V=
                  ole No.1 The finest
                  EAT US AND SMILE

                  Comment

                  • Coyote
                    ROTH ARMY SUPREME
                    • Jan 2004
                    • 8185

                    #24
                    Next move?
                    Wolf's gonna move into his own apartment...

                    Career-wise?
                    They haven't been that since 1985...
                    Why settle for something you have, if it's not as good as something you're out to get?

                    Originally posted by Seshmeister
                    It's like putting up a YouTube of Bach and playing Chopstix on your Bontempi...

                    Comment

                    • chefcraig
                      DIAMOND STATUS
                      • Apr 2004
                      • 12172

                      #25
                      Originally posted by Coyote
                      Next move?
                      Wolf's gonna move into his own apartment...
                      Which pretty much spells the end for most tv sitcoms. The once adorable kids grow up into awkward young adults and move on, either to their own homes or college, and are replaced by a visiting adorable niece or nephew, who is suddenly and tragically orphaned. This explains the child becoming a permanent fixture on the show, which results in predictable dialogue focusing on the father's frustrations with the precocious new kid.

                      The show manages to survive for a season or two by going through the motions and revisiting scripts from long ago, then announces it's farewell episode, just before it is about to be canceled due to viewer indifference.









                      “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
                      ― Stephen Hawking

                      Comment

                      • ZahZoo
                        ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

                        • Jan 2004
                        • 8973

                        #26
                        Uh oh... Chef is having Cosby Show flashbacks...
                        "If you want to be a monk... you gotta cook a lot of rice...”

                        Comment

                        • chefcraig
                          DIAMOND STATUS
                          • Apr 2004
                          • 12172

                          #27
                          Originally posted by ZahZoo
                          Uh oh... Chef is having Cosby Show flashbacks...
                          Believe it or not, the scenario was first tested on All In The Family.









                          “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
                          ― Stephen Hawking

                          Comment

                          • binnie
                            DIAMOND STATUS
                            • May 2006
                            • 19145

                            #28
                            Probably a rapid movement of the wrist, the same thing Ed's been doing for almost 15 years....
                            The Power Of The Riff Compels Me

                            Comment

                            • sonrisa salvaje
                              Veteran
                              • Jun 2005
                              • 2098

                              #29
                              If they are not recording but plan on doing another tour, they need to at least give the fans something to sink their teeth into in order to get them excited for another tour. I would suggest something like AC/DC with their last box set. Give us 2 cd's, one live from past/various tours, and a second with studio rarities and unreleased. If Ed is spending all this time in his studio jacking around, he shouldn't mind getting some old shit and remixing it. At least he would feel like he has a hand in it.
                              RIDE TO LIVE, LIVE TO RIDE
                              LET `EM ROLL ONE MORE TIME

                              Comment

                              • 78/84 guy
                                Crazy Ass Mofo
                                • Apr 2005
                                • 2557

                                #30
                                Originally posted by sonrisa salvaje
                                If they are not recording but plan on doing another tour, they need to at least give the fans something to sink their teeth into in order to get them excited for another tour. I would suggest something like AC/DC with their last box set. Give us 2 cd's, one live from past/various tours, and a second with studio rarities and unreleased. If Ed is spending all this time in his studio jacking around, he shouldn't mind getting some old shit and remixing it. At least he would feel like he has a hand in it.
                                NEVER FUCKING HAPPEN !!! Nice dream though. I would love a clean version of Bullit Head.

                                Comment

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