'twas The Night Before The Tour

[Cathedral]

You know Templemen, Landee, Ray Daniels and Val. Mikey, and Al, Hagar and Cherone.
But do you recall, the most famous hasbeen of all?

Edward, the washed up rock God
Had a very muddy tone
And if you've ever heard him
You would even say he's done
All of the other rock God's
who used to laugh and claim he sucked
don't even think about him today
Cause they know his career is fucked.

[lms2]

hehehehe

[Fabulous Shadow]

Very crafty!

[zink007]

wow man your like some kinda genius, wait a sec i hate them get him!

[Lou]

SELLING TICKETS TO DUMB-ASSES, EUNUCHS, AND JERKS.

I never thought I'd see the word "eunuch" on the Army That's my favorite line of the whole thing.

[scottydabodi]

Holy Shit

Well if that isn't the DAMNDEST Poem I've ever read... about washed-up old homos named Sam and Ed.

[POJO_Risin]

Done with this sticky...you want this at the top...keep on posting...

[classicdude]

Great creativity here at the army! Good job! The crowd goes wild!!

[W.W.D.D.?]

You sick motherfucker!!!!!!!!

[DLR_EngineRoom]

Originally posted by HELLVIS
'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE THE TOUR AND ALL THROUGH ED'S HOUSE
THE VAN HALEN FAMILY WAS DRUNK AS A LOUSE
THEY HOPED THEY'D RECAPTURE THE MAGIC THEY HAD
BUT WITHOUT DIAMOND DAVID, THEIR CHANCES WERE BAD.

WHEN OUT ON THE LAWN THERE AROSE SUCH A CLATTER
EDDIE PUT DOWN HIS 40 TO SEE WHAT WAS THE MATTER
HE STUMBLED TO THE WINDOW AND FELL IN A HEAP
AND CHUCKLED AS HE PICTURED A CROWD FULL OF SHEEP!

AND WHAT TO HIS BLOOD SHOT EYES SHOULD APPEAR
BUT A BROKEN DOWN WHEELCHAIR BEING PUSHED BY SOME QUEERS.
AND SITTING THERE IN IT WAS A FAT FUCKING HAM
DRESSED IN A RED MOO MOO, THAT BASTARD WAS SAM!

HE SCREECHED TO HIS BOY TOYS, "NOW THAT I'VE ARRIVED,
LET'S ALL 69 WHILE I DRIVE 55.
ON EDDIE... ON ALEX... ON MIKE'S JELLY BELLY
IF I WERE BLACK WITH A CAMERA I COULD BE LIKE R. KELLY!

THEY SUCKED AND THEY SUCKED AND THEY DRAINED ALL THEIR DONGS
HEY! WAIT A MINUTE! THAT SOUNDS JUST LIKE THEIR SONGS.
AND WITH THAT REALIZATION, THEY GOT STRAIGHT TO WORK
SELLING TICKETS TO DUMB-ASSES, EUNUCHS, AND JERKS.

THE ATOMIC PUNK ISN'T UNCHAINED ON THIS TOUR
SELLING TEQUILA AND RAPING SHEEP'S WHAT IT'S FOR
THEY WERE HEARD TO EXCLAIM AS THEY SUCKED THOUGH THE NIGHT,
HOPE YOUR WALLETS ARE LOOSE AND YOUR ASSES ARE TIGHT!

LMAO!!!! Love the avatar, too!!! Dunno which one is more hilarious!

[HELLVIS]

Originally posted by DLR_EngineRoom
LMAO!!!! Love the avatar, too!!! Dunno which one is more hilarious!

Thank you...thank you.
And to think that was my first post ever!

[Lou]

I'm bumping this up, now that it is Christmas time.

[DLR_EngineRoom]

Originally posted by HELLVIS
'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE THE TOUR AND ALL THROUGH ED'S HOUSE
THE VAN HALEN FAMILY WAS DRUNK AS A LOUSE
THEY HOPED THEY'D RECAPTURE THE MAGIC THEY HAD
BUT WITHOUT DIAMOND DAVID, THEIR CHANCES WERE BAD.

WHEN OUT ON THE LAWN THERE AROSE SUCH A CLATTER
EDDIE PUT DOWN HIS 40 TO SEE WHAT WAS THE MATTER
HE STUMBLED TO THE WINDOW AND FELL IN A HEAP
AND CHUCKLED AS HE PICTURED A CROWD FULL OF SHEEP!

AND WHAT TO HIS BLOOD SHOT EYES SHOULD APPEAR
BUT A BROKEN DOWN WHEELCHAIR BEING PUSHED BY SOME QUEERS.
AND SITTING THERE IN IT WAS A FAT FUCKING HAM
DRESSED IN A RED MOO MOO, THAT BASTARD WAS SAM!

HE SCREECHED TO HIS BOY TOYS, "NOW THAT I'VE ARRIVED,
LET'S ALL 69 WHILE I DRIVE 55.
ON EDDIE... ON ALEX... ON MIKE'S JELLY BELLY
IF I WERE BLACK WITH A CAMERA I COULD BE LIKE R. KELLY!

THEY SUCKED AND THEY SUCKED AND THEY DRAINED ALL THEIR DONGS
HEY! WAIT A MINUTE! THAT SOUNDS JUST LIKE THEIR SONGS.
AND WITH THAT REALIZATION, THEY GOT STRAIGHT TO WORK
SELLING TICKETS TO DUMB-ASSES, EUNUCHS, AND JERKS.

THE ATOMIC PUNK ISN'T UNCHAINED ON THIS TOUR
SELLING TEQUILA AND RAPING SHEEP'S WHAT IT'S FOR
THEY WERE HEARD TO EXCLAIM AS THEY SUCKED THOUGH THE NIGHT,
HOPE YOUR WALLETS ARE LOOSE AND YOUR ASSES ARE TIGHT!

simply classic.....gotta love it! GR8 job!!!

[Last_Child]

Awesome! Great job man!

[smaz]

Bwahaha!! Fantastic