OH FFS: Van Halen Australian Tour 2013 Looks Likely (With BOTH Singers ?!)

[TJMKID]

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FUCK --- when I saw that Fairy Gary ass grab in '98 --- I came dangerously close to swearing off VH for good --- took me a couple yrs. to rehab from seeing it !!

Kinda questioned that myself, as anyone expecting integrity from Van Halen after all of these years has to be borderline (if not completely) masochistic in nature.

I mean come on folks, really?

[Nitro Express]

I went to a VH3 show. Ed was playing great. The band sounded good. The problem was there was this fairy named Gary grabbing his ass and prancing around. I thought Hagar was gay but Gary had even beat Sammy in on the faggot index. I was having visions of a big hook coming out from stage left, grabbing Gary, putting him in a rocket and launching his fag ass out into outer space and then Dave swings out of the lighting rig and takes over.

[FORD]

That was the first thing I thought..."is this a MelodiCROCK story?"

Yeah, this shit just reeks of Andrew and his "sources"

[chefcraig]

FUCK --- when I saw that Fairy Gary ass grab in '98 --- I came dangerously close to swearing off VH for good --- took me a couple yrs. to rehab from seeing it !!

It is so true: You can't un-ring a bell, you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube, and you sure as shit can't un-see something.

[Nitro Express]

Dave wore chaps on stage with no pants. You saw his bare ass. That could be gay as hell but Dave did not act gay. I thought holy shit, this motherfucker is pushing the envelope. I got it though. It made the women in the audience hot and horny. That bare ass show was for the ladies and there were plenty of them.

Gary had pants on and was gayer that the whole Castro District during a rainbow celebration.

[FORD]

THIS JUST IN!!!! Van Halen will be headlining the Australian Soundwave Revolution Festival in 2013!

Supporting act: A unique, one time only gathering of the ultimate super group consisting of none other than:

Janis joplin
Jim Morrison
Brian Jones
Jimi Hendrix
John Bonham
John Lennon

Gonne be a hell of a show!

You left out the bass player, Cliff Burton.

[Seshmeister]

Where did this shitty rumor come from - Alex Jones on Infowars?

I'm tempted to move this crock of shit to a different forum, it's more likely that Donnie Osmond has replaced Roth as the singer of Van Halen on the next tour.

Utter nonsense.

[Hardrock69]

I don't see why that is such an outlandish statement to make Zah....

I won't speak for anyone else, but I can tell you that the very SECOND that I see Bette's fat ass and start hearing the first notes of "When It's Love" or any other Van Velveeta sappy ballad, it's going to immediately get me in a fucking bad mood, regardless of how good their set with Dave (and possibly Mike) would be....

Now I'll say this - If I were drunk, it would be a better time, no doubt.... Me and Poj were fucking hammered at the Dave/Bette '02 tour, so there's that.....

Christ, I hear Spambot on the radio, TV...anywhere, and my first reaction is to find a hammer and kill the device that is bleating his crap....

[Hardrock69]

Hi everyone, we're Van Halen. Of course, I'm Ed. On bass, we have Mister Billy Sheehan. On vocals, the incomparable Jeff Scott Soto. And finally, on drums, we have that guy from REO Speedwagon. We are gonna get things going with a little rocker called "How Many Say I." OK you guys, wheel that big assed piano out here...the one I had to buy from Marvin Hamlisch after I destroyed it.

[sadaist]

where did this shitty rumor come from - alex jones on infowars?

I'm tempted to move this crock of shit to a different forum, it's more likely that donnie osmond has replaced roth as the singer of van halen on the next tour.

Utter nonsense.

this ^

[FORD]

Where did this shitty rumor come from - Alex Jones on Infowars?

I'm tempted to move this crock of shit to a different forum, it's more likely that Donnie Osmond has replaced Roth as the singer of Van Halen on the next tour.

Utter nonsense.

Running with Elohim.......

[FORD]

Christ, I hear Spambot on the radio, TV...anywhere, and my first reaction is to find a hammer and kill the device that is bleating his crap....

Fucking tell me about it.... Last time we had a power outage around here, I broke out the hand-cranked "emergency radio" to maintain a small portion of my sanity. After several minutes of cranking, the thing would finally play music, and what comes on 5 minutes later??

Van Fucking Hagar's "Why Can't This Be Cheese??"....

Yeah, like I'm risking another tendonitis flareup in my elbow and having to do this shit three times every hour to hear THAT shit on the radio????

If I had developed tendonitis as a result, I would have sent the doctor bill to Spamela Roy Hagar c/o Cabo Wabo LTD.

[Nitro Express]

Elohim was another Joseph Smith fuck up. Joe said it was the name of Heavenly Father. In Hebrew El is a diety (someone of importance) and ohim makes it plural. So Elohim is hebrew for gods. It's not a name.

Another Joseph Smith fuck up is he came out with The Book of Abraham claiming he translated it off of some Egyptian papyrus that was with some mummies he bought in Chicago. His translation on the sacrifice of Issac is a standard embalming scene from the Book of the Dead. The translation with the illustrations is still in the Pearl of Great Price in the LDS scriptures. A fuck up for all to see.

If the creators of South Park decide to make fun of the Mormons again, I would love to be a technical consultant. They get a few things wrong even though their stuff is funny and really the average person isn't going to know the difference. I still have to see that Book of Mormon play.

[Nitro Express]

Fucking tell me about it.... Last time we had a power outage around here, I broke out the hand-cranked "emergency radio" to maintain a small portion of my sanity. After several minutes of cranking, the thing would finally play music, and what comes on 5 minutes later??

Van Fucking Hagar's "Why Can't This Be Cheese??"....

Yeah, like I'm risking another tendonitis flareup in my elbow and having to do this shit three times every hour to hear THAT shit on the radio????

If I had developed tendonitis as a result, I would have sent the doctor bill to Spamela Roy Hagar c/o Cabo Wabo LTD.

These kids in Africa figured out how to run a generator off of piss. I think it's brilliant. Instead of cranking a handle you just drink a lot of beer and generate more electricity off the result. Also, you can keep the beer cold by running the refrigerator from the piss you make from drinking the beer. The only draw back is you could get fat from a lack of activity.

[wolfsbane]

Methinks the cracks are starting. Dave's site is down? Wolfie is on tour with another band? Eddie's ass is taking one year to heal (should only take 1 month)? Dave has the Roth Show? Dave's got another album in the can ready to go? Dave has called his hair dresser to get his platinum blonde extension glued back?

Get Ready............