Eddie Van Halen Biography Coming

[Kristy]

Eddie's shitty book summary

"Hi, I'm Eddie 'god damn' Van Halen. I was born in Holland where the winters suck and good pussy is rare to find. So one day my father said 'fuck this' and we moved to sunny California where winter is unheard of and the pussy fairs much better. I never worked, did much or cared about shit so I learned to play guitar. We were piss-poor immigrants so I built a guitar from parts of other shitty guitars. It sounded like absolute fucking crap but I figured if Ted Nugent can play guitar like a cocksucker then so can I. Speaking of cocksuckers, I met David Lee Roth a German immigrant who was a homosexual which is cool, I'm gay myself. We formed a band with my idiot brother and some other douche who never really had a job.


Then the book goes on about how Eddie had a F A T fetish which is why hew married chubby thighed Valerie, had a F A T kid and met F A T Sammy who he took in as a stray.

[Seshmeister]

I've been alive for a while now but I have to say that is the first time I've ever seen Dutch pussy criticized.

[VHscraps]

The rock journalist who often interviewed Ed, Steven Rosen, was working with him in the late 80's, early 90's on his auto biography. I even remember reading that it was to be called Edward Van Halen - The First Ten Years. Not sure if those two had a falling out or why the project was scrapped, but I do believe Mr. Rosen was involved in the production of the documentary, Van Halen The Early Years.

The Kevin Dodds book is just pieces of magazine articles and Val's book taped together with his own personal story (lord knows why) woven throughout. This Branigan guy will hopefully not produce something equally as lame.

Eddie nixed the project because Rosen acted as a consultant, or something similar, on that cheesy 'Van Halen Early Days' DVD.

[VHscraps]

The author is in his late 30s and I don't know if he has any agreement with Eddie or not.

I'm not sure how reliable he would be anyway...

I think that's right - his memory might not be that reliable, and I think the same could be said for many others who survived the excesses of being young in a highly successful rock band. My guess is that Eddie probably won't be co-operating, because let's face it, a straight biography is going to have to go through all the personal stuff. It could still be a good book though if he can get reliable witnesses to co-operate, but he'd need to be getting in-depth interviews from people like Mike Anthony, and other people who were close to the band, close to Eddie. I'd imagine that would be difficult and the only ones who might speak are people who have since fallen out with Eddie, or have an axe to grind, etc.

But I will say that Faber & Faber are a top notch and highly respected publisher, and I don't think they would sign something up if they didn't think it would be more than a cut'n'paste job.

On the other hand, their music biographies can often be a bit bloated - I've read a few 600-page tomes that seem to run out of steam at about 300 pages, and it seems to me to be more of an editorial issue than an author issue (I work in publishing as an editor).

[DLR Bridge]

Eddie nixed the project because Rosen acted as a consultant, or something similar, on that cheesy 'Van Halen Early Days' DVD.

That can't be the reason, though. That documentary came out more than ten years after the book being started.

[Va Beach VH Fan]

Why the hell can't Eddie write his own book? I personally believe that it could be a good idea for him to tell his own side of the story in the Van Halen saga and finally clear up some discrepancies.

For the same reason that they haven't released any DVD Box Sets or anything else for the fans....

Edward Lodewijk Van Halen hates being a "rockstar". He has no sense of what the fans might want....

That's just the truth....

[ELVIS]

Yes he does...

He gave us a killer album and he's still working with Dave...

Rock star books rank right up there with the old adage:

Shut up and sing!

[sadaist]

I figured if Ted Nugent can play guitar like a cocksucker then so can I.

haha excellent!

... and some other douche who never really had a job.

.

lol, poor Michael. So true though.



and I thought it was Eddie "fucking" Van Halen? What was on that shirt they sold during either last Hagar or Cherone tour? I thought it was really stupid and just a huge cock stroke for Eddies ego.

[sadaist]

He gave us a killer album and he's still working with Dave...

I think you might be being sarcastic here, but this is 100% true. I am happier with the current shape of Van Halen than I have been since 5150.

[DrMaddVibe]

For the same reason that they haven't released any DVD Box Sets or anything else for the fans....

Edward Lodewijk Van Halen hates being a "rockstar". He has no sense of what the fans might want....

That's just the truth....

+1 on this. He'd rather sit around Howdy Doody Mountain noodling on a guitar doing porn soundtracks than actually playing in a band that pays off in big ways. He's NEVER really realized the potential that Van Halen has...and by his time management...never will.

Keeping the band together just massages a massive ego that wants to live off of what was instead of taking chances and going forward.

IDGAF about reading his bio and I don't care if he writes one. It's yet another time waster. The guy acts like he's immortal. Time's a wasting Eddie. Get with the program and serve us up another album.

[DrMaddVibe]

I think you might be being sarcastic here, but this is 100% true. I am happier with the current shape of Van Halen than I have been since 5150.

I totally agree.

Just wish the production line was running at full capacity though...just sayin'!


Seeing Van Hagar at the Monsters of Rock was a laughable joke. It kept getting worse with each release...and the box office kept dwindling to the point they were giving away tickets so Spammy could peddle his booze!

[ELVIS]

I was not being sarcastic...

ADKOT was better than I expected...

Tattoo still sucks though...

[VHscraps]

That can't be the reason, though. That documentary came out more than ten years after the book being started.

I was sure I read that was the reason somewhere, in an interview with Rosen - I've been googling but can't find anything. I could be wrong, and it might be that after Eddie backed out of co-operating with the book Rosen LATER got involved in the DVD.

You're right, though, he had been working on the Eddie book as far back as the mid-80s, and had full access to family members and archives, etc.

[VHscraps]

That can't be the reason, though. That documentary came out more than ten years after the book being started.

Yeah, you're right. I did just find this, DLRB, where Rosen talks about the fate of the EVH biography:

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/inter...e_charvel.html

It's an interview with Wayne Charvel that Rosen did as part of his research for the book. He prefaces the interview with the story of the agreement he had with EVH to write the book, but says in the end that after years, and after speaking to a lot of people, Eddie just didn't want to sit down and talk. He thought that the time for a biography would be after he had quit playing / died, or similar ...

[Seshmeister]

Surely the last Van Hagar tour counted as similar?