Sophia Bush pays tribute to rock band Van Halen

[Kristy]

She's ghey - with F A T arms and a huge ass. No T-shirt can hide that.

[Kristy]

Know how I know you're gay?

Well, I have a "thing" for Sasha Luss


So yeah.

[Kristy]

No thanks Zah, I don't want to fuck you in the back of the baddest buggy on the planet.

Even though this is a homoerotic website, keep me out of your homoerotic fantasies.

Admitting that shows your therapy has not been in vain.

[Von Halen]

Well, I have a "thing" for Sasha Luss


So yeah.

Never heard of her, but I'd fuck her too.

[Kristy]

You'd fuck a prairie dog hole if you could get away with it, Von.

[DONNIEP]

Well, I have a "thing" for Sasha Luss


So yeah.

Oh no, no no no. See that look on her face? That's low grade terminal depression with an inferiority complex. That chick sits in the corner at night listening to the Cranberries over and over. I know - I've dated too many just like her.

[Kristy]

That girl is the face of Dior. So about a $30 million dollar face. Hardly terminal depression.

[DONNIEP]

That girl is the face of Dior. So about a $30 million dollar face. Hardly terminal depression.

And she's crying on a stack of money listening to Zombie right now

[Kristy]

Oh do shut up and go back to looking at your 'White Trash Woman Of Yet To Be Recognized Sexual Communicable Diseases' while listening to Toto.

[Kristy]

That look is just screamin... "Fuck me, hard, Vonzie in the back of your gay Dune Buggy™!!"

More like "Look at me! I shop at Walmart, Goodwill and pay for it all with a Welfare Mastercard." She looks like the illegitimate sister of Kristen Bell.

[DONNIEP]

Oh do shut up and go back to looking at your 'White Trash Woman Of Yet To Be Recognized Sexual Communicable Diseases' while listening to Toto.

Never was a big Toto fan. Besides, you gotta listen to Winger when you're in that thread!

[Kristy]

I knew it! You ARE a Toto fan!

[Kristy]

Is is raining? Thought I heard thunder.


Never mind, just some untalented Hollywood actress walking by.

[DONNIEP]

Ugly chick, too.

[Kristy]

Speaking of ugly women. Forgot all about Mona Johannesson


I would not mind going through life looking like her. Not for a second.