= VH= on Ellen 4/2/15

[DLR Bridge]

And Al, Ed's brother, had no idea Ed was about to check out? Really? I never read Sam's book. I've read excerpts here and there, but I never bought it. So it was Sam's job to make sure Ed was in tip top shape but not his own brother?

And as far as the mouth running goes....Sure, Slappy shot his off waayyy too much about Dave back in the day. But was that him shitting on Dave OR was it him joining in on the "back stage" BS that the brothers, and Mikey, were blasting to anyone who would listen? I'm no Sammy lover but put yourself in that situation....

Slappy, from whatever confluence of events, became the new lead singer. There are interviews out the ass where Ed raved about him. There's video of Al - who never wrote a note - saying Dave was a 12 year tooth ache. And Sam was the gold crown that replaced him. Ed and Al sucked off Sammy in the press every chance they had.

My point is this: Ed trots out whatever version of VH - I'll even say this - Ed trots out whatever version of Van Fucking Halen that He thinks is the definitive version, whenever it suits him. Ed is a deluded moron. Al just wants to cash in. Dave...Dave just wanted to be back in. And he did whatever it took to get back in that band - including allowing some little kid to play bass and pretend to sing. Why else would he say at Cafe Wha? that it was all real and live? And then go on to tell RS that he wanted Mikey back?

I honestly don't give two shits what this band does tomorrow or 7 years from now. It will always be Dave, Al, Ed, and Wolfie. And no matter how hard anyone tries to listen to live cuts from any show, it ain't fucking Van Halen. It ain't. It will never sound right and anybody who caught the first tour who thought a 16 year old kid DESERVED to be up there is a moron.

But I do hope they rock the Ellen show. Because that's what Van Fucking Halen should do. Play on a show that airs in the afternoon. That's genius marketing. Showing up to a show that NOBODY you know ever watches on a regular basis. Hell, it's almost as big of a stroke of genius as having ONE billboard advertise the pic of the album cover of ADKOT. Seeing as how they stole it straight off another record. And there were 37 people here who even fuckin knew it would be there and knew what it was...

Sorry, I passed out before this retort.

Many good points Donnie. Still think Sammy's the bigger douche. No, Al does not deserve a hall pass in my opinion either. I assume you had been imbibing last night too, as you went off the rails (pun intended) and slammed Dave's train CD cover choice in a discussion about Sammy being a bigger douche than Ed.

No, this band isn't what it used to be. We are totally in take it for what it is or don't take it at all territory. I'm not going to get upset about what I have no control over. They've disappointed me enough for one life time. How they fuck up their legacy is on them, not me. Is it a shame they're all (including Dave) a bit clueless? Yup. Oh wells. The damn good times happened already. The nostalgia gravy train is all they're about now, which sucks, but I'll take that over any incarnation with the #1 douche any day, and so will you.

[ZahZoo]

Maybe They Want More MILF For Van Halen.

I believe the desired demographic is Momshells™...

[Va Beach VH Fan]

I think the best way to put it is that Samuel Roy Hagar's inclusion in Van Halen ruined the greatest rock band in American music history.

Now, I want to stress, notice that I said INCLUSION. I didn't say that HE ruined Van Halen.

And why? Because I can't honestly pin the making of all of those sappy ballads exclusively on him....

Yes, he wrote the lyrics, but who's responsible for the making of the song itself?

So I can't honestly hang ALL of it on Hagar....

The point is that I just can't see DLR having any input in the creation of all that sap....

[guwapo_rocker]

So I can't honestly hang ALL of it on Hagar....

Let's not "hang ALL of it on Hagar".

Let's just hang Hagar.

[twonabomber]

How did Ellen even get famous in the first place? Yeah she was a comedian but my gosh I don't even remember one routine of hers. All I know her for is she got a lot of air time for coming out gay. Now that's ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz. The whole fucking world has gone gay. Including Van Halen.

An unfunny comedian at that.

"They canceled my sitcom because I am gay." No, they canceled that show because it was not funny.

And how do we go from ripping on Van Hagar "encouraging you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship," to going on Ellen? I'm all for promotion, but not on that show.

[DONNIEP]

An unfunny comedian at that.

"They canceled my sitcom because I am gay." No, they canceled that show because it was not funny.

And how do we go from ripping on Van Hagar "encouraging you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship," to going on Ellen? I'm all for promotion, but not on that show.

The only thing I know about Ellen's show is that she has, or had, this funny segment where she would read text messages where the phone autocorrected or predictive textified the words and changed them up. And I only know that because my daughter was watching a montage of those segments on her iphone and I could hear it. Pretty funny stuff. Oh and I did watch Miley on there one time, cause I'm a prevert and all.

Other than that I don't know what Ellen's show is all about. Must be pretty popular with working in the home ladies though. Seems like Sammy would be a better fit for her show than Dave and the boys. Cause Slappy could talk about the time he was in VH (and honestly that would be my favorite topic too if I was him. What else is he gonna talk about? UFOs? He can't even make UFOs sound cool), his new record, his current tour, and then they could make some mixed drunks with his new rum. See - I just filled a 13 minute segment without even using my brain.

VH on the other hand....they do a song, sit down on the couches or whatever, and then what? Dave tells a story about spending a year in Ninja school, Ed talks about whatever Ed rambles on about, Al sits there with his shades on wishing he could kill himself, or kill Dave. Honestly the only one with anything interesting to say is Wolf. He's got some cool stuff going on, new record and all that. But no, you'll have Dave doing his best 1983 imitation while he's jerkin around like Michael J Fox when his meds run out, blabbering all over the place. Maybe it would be best if they just do a song and split.

[clarathecarrot]

Best thing about the latest Hollywood media demographic tv shows is any jackoff will do fine in whatever predetermined specifically designed show outline, they have a vacancy in.

Ellen, is the poor shlepp arrested and owned by that demographics media vacancy and she will never be free even when she stops wearing that strap on under her pants, while she conducts her daily business.

And comes back into the closet of her, real reality, hey, "I like dick now".

Opffrah is married to a fag and is a crazy for the cooch.

Ellen fills the gay woman over 40 demo.

Best thing about Ellen is that other "lets use the lesbian angle to garner attention in hollywood" snizzz freek that used to hold hands with ellen and swear loyalty to the cause then when Harrison Ford offered her a better deal she started honking on bobo all over town to get what she was looking for next ..left ellen with her finger in her ear wondering about her life choices.

Can't remember her name but she was hailed as the greatest actress in the history of movies by the lesbian media hell til she went all hetro and then they never mentioned her again and her career tanked.

[DLR Bridge]

"They canceled my sitcom because I am gay." No, they canceled that show because it was not funny.

Nope. It was because she was gay. The show won a fucking Emmy the year before she came out. When she did, the set received bomb threats. She received death threats. Advertisers balked and bullshit homophobic America turned it's back on her.

Was that show for you and me? No. But millions were watching it then millions bailed. That's how it went down. I give her a lot of credit, whether she's funny or not.

[BITEYOASS]

IMO, =VH= should be on Saturday Night Live! Of course Lorne is too much of a pussy to put on a musical act that kicks ass.

[clarathecarrot]

That show had to win a emmy if it didn't EQCA was going to bring a suit that stated the Emmy was a bigoted and intolerant organization.

I really think some of you all are quite ignorant of how this shit works. ...?

[DLR Bridge]

That show had to win a emmy if it didn't EQCA was going to bring a suit that stated the Emmy was a bigoted and intolerant organization.

I really think some of you all are quite ignorant of how this shit works. ...?

Oh ffs. Her non-gay writers of the show won the award you ignorant, cowardly fuck.

[clarathecarrot]

Oh ffs. Her non-gay writers of the show won the award you ignorant, cowardly fuck.

What the HELL is the, non-gay writer....I almost spewed my coffee ..lol

and what is won..?

...a award based on what,, the rewritten situation script from a earlier successful media hype outline.

I won a 2nd place ribbon once in the 2nd grade 40 yard dash...so guess I can understand the need for justification of self, as seen by others .

I guess I can also see the need for justification of your life choices by the award some person of interest in your life has received.

Others perceptions of quality as a justification of oneself........that's deep.

[78/84 guy]

Which one is Ellen?

The one in the middle ??

[DLR Bridge]

The show won an award on the merits of it's writing team, who happened to not be gay. You're quick to assume the gay's you so loathe chicken winged the organization into giving the show an award.

[78/84 guy]

I don't have a problem with this. At least Dave got Ed & Al to drive down the hill into L.A. to do something ! I don't see them doing anything but Jump.