This Fuckin' Kid

[Nitro Express]

Jesus wasn’t the only skilled parable teller. Dave Roth ain’t shabby either. Only those with the will to see, see. Don’t throw your pearls before swine.

[Vinnie Velvet]

Aric most likely has nothing in common with his cousin Wolf.

One runs marathons the other is a fat slob.

[Nitro Express]

So what have we learned in the Roth school of parables? Eddie Van Halen was a true rock and roll guitar God who was stuck in a bad marriage with in-laws he couldn’t stand. Things didn’t get better until Ed made a desperate escape in a golf cart down Howdy Doody Mountain to the Sportsman’s Lodge. Ed got organized back to greatness by a porn industry publicist who he married. Everything was great until Ed’s calculating prick son ruined it. The prick son has made a deal with the devil and will be consumed.

[Catfish]

I have too much to catch up on in this thread. Please clear up for me, someone, that it was Wolf's second album DLR referred to as being DOA and curb stomped or whatever. I see people online saying he's referring to ADKOT. I don't feel like DLR would refer to ADKOT as being DOA.

[Nitro Express]

Lot’s of debate over what album it was. Most likely the first Mammoth WVH album. Anyways you have to have a ton of streams to make any money. Of course a label will give Wolf an advance because he has money. They know they can squeeze some dough out of his fat ass.

[Catfish]

The dickheads at Ultimate Classic Rock are saying in a podcast that DLR was referring to VH albums: https://fb.watch/q3LW1svptY/

[Rikk]

A few Cheeseheads at the Links are talking about how excited they are about this summer's "Van Halen" tour. (In fairness, plenty of fans there are also shitting on this idea. Brett hates Wolfgang too and can see through a lot of the bullshit that's going on.)

The Cheeseheads in questions are trying to act like this tour is going to be HUGE...like The Stones or a Beatles reunion tour.

For Fuck's sakes, it's the same musicians Sammy plays with on his pathetic solo tours but marketed as a "Van Halen" tour.

I will simply say this about the upcoming tour:

. It is seen by much of the fanbase as having the same legitimacy as having Michael Anthony & Sammy Hagar being the only members to accept Van Halen's award at the Rock and Roll Hall of Shame. Now THAT is sad.
. The upcoming tour has NONE of the band members that were in Van Halen during the last 14 years of the band's existence.
. The upcoming tour has NONE of the band members that were in Van Halen during their last three major tours.

This whole crock of hog shit is just Sammy Hagar trying to act like he's suddenly on "the inside." Lord knows, he doesn't need more money, but he's a greedy fuck.

Alex Van Halen wants no part of it. He has no love for Sammy...he'll never forgive the fat red rocker for writing all that shit about his brother in his stupid book.

I listened to a whole TWO MINUTES of this "line-up" on Howard Stern a few months ago. I'm really not saying this because I'm biased: IT SOUNDED LIKE SHIT. Satriani can't even sound LIKE Eddie and he couldn't even cop all of his parts in fucking WHY CAN'T THIS BE LOVE.

It's a joke. If Cabo Wabo-drinking alcoholics want to waste their money on something so pathetic (during which they're not just playing Van Halen songs but also Chickenfoot and Sammy solo songs), let them keep the machine going. But real VH fans are staying home.

Fuck that shit. Van Halen was Dave and the Van Halen brothers. And Mikey...but he sold his soul to Hagar decades ago.

[DLR Bridge]

Lot’s of debate over what album it was. Most likely the first Mammoth WVH album. Anyways you have to have a ton of streams to make any money. Of course a label will give Wolf an advance because he has money. They know they can squeeze some dough out of his fat ass.

What’s the whole line about Dave and Alex not wanting to pay lawyers fees about? Is he not referring to the lapsing streaming agreement on the two releases that just so happened to include the hoodied wonder?

[MasonL]

Low IQ people don’t get Dave. It all goes over their heads. Dave is excentric but he’s niether stupid or crazy. In fact he’s a guy who lives life on his own terms. Something the snowflakes most our society is composed of are scared to death to do.

This is right. Dave has probably read more books in one week than they have in their entire lifetimes. And they spent 50 years drenching their brains in booze to his songs, so by now they really have no critical thinking. And Dave has class so he never trashed the fans who say stupid shit like that because they paid money for his work.

[MasonL]

I usually don’t like to do this, but you can make a clear distinction amongst the Van Halen alumni by who are the serious artists and who are the sellouts by looking at weight.

Dave, Al and Ed (until the very end) all stayed pretty lean for the most part. The only times Ed was a bit chubby was deep in the Hagar years without Roth. This shows they were living and breathing the music. The artform was a part of their lives, in fact, it WAS their lives. They didn’t just use Van Halen as a means to get money or fame or to have your name on a tequila bottle.

Sam, Mike, and Wolf all got fat. I guess it took Sam and Mike a few years to get there so you gotta give them that. These guys don’t really hold Van Halen near and dear they only liked it so much as it could provide them as many cookie platters as they wanted. Most people don’t understand this even though it’s right in front of them because they listen to Dave joking in an interview and they think, “he has such a huge ego! He was always the problem!!” And they listen to Sammy saying he’s gonna make you a margarita and think “now THIS GUY is a class act. He’s such a cool guy!”

They just don’t get it. I think socially retarded is the optimal definition

[DLR Bridge]

Kinda. I think Sam and Mike got rich guy fat. Wolf is more of the big boned fat that can be worked off with diet and exercise, but it definitely comes with harder work than lean body types like his Dad and Dave. Wolf reminds me a little bit of Matthew Sweet. That guy was built like ADKOT era Wolf in the mid 90’s. Now he’s a big beefy dude like present day Wolf.

[Nitro Express]

The dickheads at Ultimate Classic Rock are saying in a podcast that DLR was referring to VH albums: https://fb.watch/q3LW1svptY/

Could be. It was Wolf’s idea to get Dave back and how much he was a leader on The Different Kind of Truth album who knows.

[Nitro Express]

I think the smart entertainers stay in shape and guard their public image. I have no respect for fat entertainers and even less respect for people treating social media like a psychiatrist and breaking down in a public forum. It’s so pathetic.

[DLR Bridge]

This words it like it was a bit of both. From one of those Facebook pages…

DAVID LEE ROTH is using ALEX VAN HALEN to INSULT Eddie's son Wolfgang.

Roth said Wolfgang Van Halen's new album was 'DOA' and 'a complete faceplant' in a new video. He said Van Halen's last album A Different Kind of Truth isn't streaming due to legal issues, where Alex backs him in not wanting to pay lawyers.

"Do you remember Leon Spinks? How about Larry Holmes or Trevor Berbick?" a mock therapist asks "Wolfgang" in Roth's YouTube video. "Well, these were the last couple of Muhammad Ali's fights, and nobody wants to remember them because they were no fun… And your albums with Van Halen are a lot like those last two fights."

[Kristy]

Dave Grohl created...uh...

Dave Grohl created the rock star media whore and the enterprise of rock star media whoring. An average drummer with way overrated credentials making a shit load of money of his former band mates deaths and marketing them for commercial arenas that he would never sell out with the Foo Foo Fighters alone. Think about that. Two of his best band mates - in terms of making money - killed themselves for their own brooding drug addictions and Grohl made millions of of them. Now that can be considered genius but under both circumstances it's just fucking sick.

Grohl is the definition of a asshole riding on the coattails of others talents for personal gain. His own music I find to be unlistenable and recycled. And if what Roth says about the F A T Wolf Boy are true in terms of owing a shit fuck boat fuck ton of money to his record label I have no doubt he'll drop this Mammoth nonsense and come crawling to Grohl on his knees with mouth fully open wanting to be the "Little F A T Eddie" tool playing his father's riffs for...money.

Grohl and Nirvana were shit. Cobain was a fuck monkey junkie that no one at the time gave two fucks about. They were a limp-wristed Husker Du wannabe band with a uber rich boy producer on a label that exploited the living shit out of them. They were lucky. Total shit but they were lucky and Grohl wants to suck on that tit and get as much mileage as he can. It'll all run out for him someday.