This Fuckin' Kid

[Von Halen]

Von, I don’t really care what’s in the vaults. If it was good enough to be released, it would already be out there. We don’t need to hear the snippets they were working on for their second album with Cherone.

You keep sucking off the fat Wolf boy then.

I am very certain there is a lot more in the vault than "snippets they were working on for their second album with Cherone". But the fat Wolf boy said that all the good stuff has already been released, so you believe him, right?

What about CVH live shows? You happy with the crappy bootlegs we have now? I guess they are good enough as long as the fat Wolf boy is releasing "new" music.

What about the box set that WB talked about, but got shelved? You're okay with that, as long as the fat Wolf boy is releasing "new" music?

You'd rather donate your hard earned money to the fat Wolf boy via his SHIT fucking music, than donate it to him via CVH material? Good choice.

It is unfuckingbelievable to me that even ONE CVH fan could stick up for this fat fucking piece of shit Valerie Jr.

[Von Halen]

I’m frankly more interested in what Dave has in his vault than what’s in 5150.

Like what? Outtakes of the No Holds BBQ?

An EEAS live show with Vai butchering the EVH material every bit as bad as Satch is going to on Clichegar's tour?

Dave singing covers of songs from 70 years ago? (Actually, I'd like to hear those.)

[Kristy]

I love “Wrapped Around Your Finger”. The best part is the lyrical inversion at the end where he tells her she will be wrapped around his finger.

Oh yes, the monkey pox man himself Sting and his misogyny of once being married.



"Come on now, audience, suck my dick. It's this biiiiiiiiiig"

[Von Halen]

I am out of here, for now. Catfish thought I was angry yesterday. Fucking Warham has me so mad now, I can't see straight.

[Warham]

You keep sucking off the fat Wolf boy then.

I am very certain there is a lot more in the vault than "snippets they were working on for their second album with Cherone". But the fat Wolf boy said that all the good stuff has already been released, so you believe him, right?

What about CVH live shows? You happy with the crappy bootlegs we have now? I guess they are good enough as long as the fat Wolf boy is releasing "new" music.

What about the box set that WB talked about, but got shelved? You're okay with that, as long as the fat Wolf boy is releasing "new" music?

You'd rather donate your hard earned money to the fat Wolf boy via his SHIT fucking music, than donate it to him via CVH material? Good choice.

It is unfuckingbelievable to me that even ONE CVH fan could stick up for this fat fucking piece of shit Valerie Jr.

I haven’t bought any of Wolfgang’s albums nor have I been to any of his solo shows so I don’t know how I am supporting him. I already told you I don’t care what he says. Where did I defend him? I said he could lose a couple of pounds.

I like live albums and videos but I hardly ever watch or listen to them. I’ve seen ‘em live, so I’m content.

There’s no SMiLE in 5150, so I’m fine with what we got.

I just don’t see how going after Ed’s kid really matters at this point.

[Warham]

I am out of here, for now. Catfish thought I was angry yesterday. Fucking Warham has me so mad now, I can't see straight.

Feels like old times again.

[Rikk]

I hate this fat fucking Valerie Jr. piece of shit more than I hate Sammy Clichegar. By a lot.

There. I fucking said it.

You know what??

I fucking agree.

I hate Sammy Hagar. I hate him a lot.

But I don't hate him nearly as much as I hate that cunt Wolfgang.

And from now on, I'm going to try and remember to call him fucking Valerie Jr. too. Because that's what he really is.

He reminds me of Cinderella's fucking wicked stepsisters...fucking using the wealth of their stepfather while mistreating the one thing the stepfather cared about (in Cinderella's dad's case, it was Cinderella...for Van Halen, it's their legacy).

Fuck him and his fucking shit cunt music.

Yes, I don't like Sammy Hagar. But at least Sammy Hagar made the first Montrose album. Van Hagar is a joke...but I would still take certain songs like HUMANS BEING or BLACK 'N' BLUE over anything Valerie Jr. has done. I remember hearing HUMANS BEING on the radio in the car with my friends. And I remember thinking that the lyrics are stupid (some shit about "enough Christ in me") but at least the chorus was in my head after the song was done. I have NOT heard a single Valerie Jr. song that I remember afterwards. ZERO hooks. Not one.

If I had a gun to my head and someone told me to HUM the melody of a Valerie Jr. song, I would not be able to and would have to say, "I guess you're going to have to shoot me." Not one single melody can I remember.

Van Hagar tarnished Van Halen's legacy...but at least there was still good guitar-playing in it. Valerie Jr.'s music is not exactly getting the guitar magazines to interview him and ask, "How did you play that song I SUCK COCK AND I'M REALLY FAT?"

Van Halen fans are all 54-year-old twice-divorced?? FUCK YOU, Wolfie. That's YOUR family situation. Not mine.

My parents are still together.

I'm not 50 yet and I'm still with my first wife and I hope I am 'til the day I die.

And VH fans are 54-years old? My daughter is nine-years-old. She LOVES Van Halen.

I kid you not...one day, my daughter & I got in the car to drive her to school and I put on SiriusXM, and (one of those rare times this happens), Van Hagar was fucking playing. She looked at the display and it said VAN HALEN.

"Baba, is this that Sammy Hagar guy singing?"
"Yes, honey."
"So, this isn't David Lee Roth?"
"No."
"Then turn it off. I really don't like his voice."

That SOUNDS like something I would make up to tell a good message board story...but it's 100% true.

The latest sheep stance is that not just Dave is responsible for all the division and problems in the world...it's Alex too.

If you dare say anything like, "Wolfgang is keeping the vaults closed so that people pay attention to HIS career," they get fucking angry as shit. They will insult you. You do NOT destroy the honor of the fat-man.

And they're SO full of shit. I mean, for Christ's sake, Valerie's brother is Valerie Jr.'s manager. What does THAT tell you?

[Von Halen]

I like live albums and videos but I hardly ever watch or listen to them. I’ve seen ‘em live, so I’m content.

Damn you Warham. I'm trying to get out of here! I LOVE live shows. And I saw the original plenty of times. I want more. I want to be able to sit on my couch and put on a good quality live show, at my leisure! That fat fuck Wolf boy is preventing me from my pleasure! Fortunately the fat fucker does not have the ability to prevent me from pleasuring myself!

I just don’t see how going after Ed’s kid really matters at this point.

The fat fuck Wolf boy is going after US! CVH fan! He thinks we aren't going to retaliate? Fuck that. We are going to hit him right in his fat gut.

[Rikk]

I’m frankly more interested in what Dave has in his vault than what’s in 5150.

War, I like you. It's been good seeing you around.

But you're really telling me that you wouldn't get excited if Valerie Jr. didn't finally let the world hear the Oakland '81 live album, mixed at the Record Plant?

It was in Noel Monk's inventory list (posted again a few days ago).

It is a multi-track-recorded FULL Van Halen show from the FAIR WARNING tour. 16 reels, I believe it said.

The sad part of the story seems to be true...they did only film the three songs in Oakland.

But they recorded the whole fucking show.

If they released that as a double-CD, triple-LP live album, that would be one of the best Van Halen albums ever released...maybe ever-released.

But I bet you we won't hear it because Valerie Jr., Valerie's brother & Valerie want to make sure that the world waits with baited breath for the next album of pure shit that pays Valerie Jr.'s ever-growing grocery bills.

[Rikk]

I LOVE live shows. And I saw the original plenty of times. I want more. I want to be able to sit on my couch and put on a good quality live show, at my leisure!

This.

Exactly.

I talk about my daughter a lot (but that's because my daughter is the most important thing in my world). I am training her to be educated on the greatness of music.

I watched SONG REMAINS THE SAME with her in our home theater when she was five. When STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN came on, she walked over and sat on my lap on the floor, staring up at the big screen, gazing at this great band. Her eyes were wide. When the solo kicked in, she started dancing around the room. When the movie was over, she looked at me and said, "Thank you. That was SO awesome. Can we watch that movie again soon?

THAT is one of the big reasons I want a high-quality VH show released. I want to SHOW her why Van Halen with Dave was as special as Zeppelin and some of the other bands she loves.

And if there are more classic songs in the vaults, I want to be able to listen to them...not let them sit in a box where the tape is being slowly degraded...ALL BECAUSE IT HURTS THE EGO OF A RICH GUY WHO IS SO FAT THAT JOGGERS TAKE LAPS AROUND HIM FOR EXERCISE!!

[Warham]

Damn you Warham. I'm trying to get out of here! I LOVE live shows. And I saw the original plenty of times. I want more. I want to be able to sit on my couch and put on a good quality live show, at my leisure! That fat fuck Wolf boy is preventing me from my pleasure! Fortunately the fat fucker does not have the ability to prevent me from pleasuring myself!



The fat fuck Wolf boy is going after US! CVH fan! He thinks we aren't going to retaliate? Fuck that. We are going to hit him right in his fat gut.

Nobody gets between a man and his tool.

[Warham]

War, I like you. It's been good seeing you around.

But you're really telling me that you wouldn't get excited if Valerie Jr. didn't finally let the world hear the Oakland '81 live album, mixed at the Record Plant?

It was in Noel Monk's inventory list (posted again a few days ago).

It is a multi-track-recorded FULL Van Halen show from the FAIR WARNING tour. 16 reels, I believe it said.

The sad part of the story seems to be true...they did only film the three songs in Oakland.

But they recorded the whole fucking show.

If they released that as a double-CD, triple-LP live album, that would be one of the best Van Halen albums ever released...maybe ever-released.

But I bet you we won't hear it because Valerie Jr., Valerie's brother & Valerie want to make sure that the world waits with baited breath for the next album of pure shit that pays Valerie Jr.'s ever-growing grocery bills.

I like you too, Rikk but I think you are putting too much of the blame on Wolfgang and forgetting how disfunctional they were before he ever replaced Anthony. You are letting Ed, Al and Dave off the hook. Mike just went along for the ride. If Van Halen (the corporation) owns the recordings, that doesn’t mean that Wolfgang can just sit on it indefinitely if Al and Dave want it released. I don’t buy him just being able to stifle the other guys indefinitely. I don’t think Dave or Al really care about a 1981 live show being released.

[Rikk]

I like you too, Rikk but I think you are putting too much of the blame on Wolfgang and forgetting how disfunctional they were before he ever replaced Anthony. You are letting Ed, Al and Dave off the hook. If Van Halen (the corporation) owns the recordings, that doesn’t mean that Wolfgang can just sit on it indefinitely if Al and Dave want it released. I don’t buy him just being able to stifle the other guys indefinitely. I don’t think Dave or Al really care about a 1981 live show being released.

My political views may lean very liberal socially.

But I AM a goddamn Capitalist (and a Fiscal Conservative).

And I cannot believe how stupid the Van Halen camp is.

There would be FUCKING HUGE DEMAND for a Van Halen show like Oakland 1981 (FAIR WARNING Tour) mixed on multi-track. It would be HUGE. Even that idiot Eddie Trunk would have to call it one of the most important live albums ever released.

So...if the Van Halen camp is so stupid to fucking sit on something so amazing as that...if they are not willing to SUPPLY the DEMAND, then that is so fucking stupid.

All I know is: Alex was mixing SOME stuff 12-18 months ago. I heard that from three different sources. He was looking at SOME THINGS in the vault.

And then it got shut down. And the rumor is that Valerie Jr. shut it down because he didn't want it competing with MAMMOTH WEIGHT II.

[Warham]

This is literally a band who had four lead singers in one year and people expected them to get their shit together with vault releases?

[Catfish]

Von Halen is frightening us all!