Tweet
Best of Both Worlds.
I was walking down the street today and found this lying on the sidewalk.
Interestingly enough, the first disc of the two-disc set was missing.
So, albeit an incomplete review, I'll give it my best shot.
DISC 2:
1. When It's love.
Somewhere, Caren Carpenter in rolling over in her grave. Love songs
really weren't supposed to give you an overwhelming desire to smash the living fuck outta your cd player. Love songs were supposed to make your girlfriend feel all warm and fuzzy and eventually kick down on the nasty, not call you a sappy loser with no taste in music.
2. Finish what you started.
This song has a catchy vibe to it at first, but then you start having an overwhelming desire to smash the living fuck outta your cd player.
"I'm incomplete"? Yeah, evidently someone cut your gonads off because you sound like a female cat in heat that a rhino just took a runny shit on.
3. Feels so good.
You know what would feel good after hearing this dung-beetle taxi-cab confession?
Smashing the living fuck outta my cd player.
4. Black and Blue.
This kind of thing just turns my fucking stomach. I understand the concept, but the vocalist just comes off as some guy that wants his woman to kick his fucking ass because he probably got molested by his stepfather as a child.
Freudian-laced bullshit like this makes me wanna smash the living fuck outta my cd player.
5. Poundcake.
So now our forlorn squeaker takes a trip on the fat funtastic I guess.
Find a fold and fuck it squeaker, better yet, crawl inside and just fucking punch the ceiling and shit....maybe the g-spot 'ell look like a mutated pinata.
Not unlike a pinata, my cd player needs the living fuck smashed out of it.
6. Runaround.
I got about halfway through this thing before the squirrels outside started pelting the roof with green pinecones. The little furry fuckers were actually trying to smash the living fuck outta my cd player!
I closed the screen door promptly.
7. Right Now.
I need motivational, inspiration-inducing drivel about as much as a dying fucking beached whale needs a tanning bed. "Come on it's ehhhhverything"? No, dipshit it's nothing. Go sell this shit to the goddamned lifetime channel.
RIGHT NOW! I wanna smash the living fuck outta my cd player.
8. Top of the world.
Here we go again. Arrgh....the only thing this guy seems to be standing on top of is the decaying bowels of humanity. Let's hope some methane explosion obliterates this waste of fucking oxygen.
You guessed it, I wanna obliterate the living fuck outta my cd player after hearing that dipshit ditty.
9.Can't stop loving you.
What in gods name is this? Would some sort of piano bazooka be a ftting weapon to put this motherfucker out of my misery? Pure, unadulterated piss-fluff.
I'd like to smash the living fuck outta my cd player with that dudes face.
10. Not enough.
It's enough, I assure you. It's enough to make Christopher Reeve jump up and run ten fucking miles to the nearest jagged canyon and fling himself off just to end the pain you just piled on top of his crippling existence.
This shit makes me want to fling the living fuck outta my cd player off a jagged canyon.
11. It's about time.
This is just horrible. I mean, It's so fucking horrible it's insane. I think this shit is driving me insane. It's about time I took a timeout and smashed the living fuck outta my cd player.
12. Learning to see.
Learning to see? How 'bout learning to hear? I can hear, and what I hear makes me wanna smash the living fuck outta my cd player.
13. Up for breakfast.
I guess this is some sort of motivational drivel revisited or some shit. Do us all a favor, don't get up for breakfast...don't get up at all....just stay asleep forever.
I'm so sleepy right now I'd have to fumble around half asleep to smash the living fuck outta my cd player.
14. Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love (live)
I'm sure most everyone enjoys hearing a legendary song butchered by an ass-fucked gnome right?
WRONG
This is worse than the hindenburg, or the great white fire.
I'M GONNA SMASH THE LIVING FUCK OUTTA MY CD PLAYER.
Tracks 15 and 16 are un-reviewable.....
My cd player doesn't work anymore.
Interestingly enough, the first disc of the two-disc set was missing.
So, albeit an incomplete review, I'll give it my best shot.
DISC 2:
1. When It's love.
Somewhere, Caren Carpenter in rolling over in her grave. Love songs
really weren't supposed to give you an overwhelming desire to smash the living fuck outta your cd player. Love songs were supposed to make your girlfriend feel all warm and fuzzy and eventually kick down on the nasty, not call you a sappy loser with no taste in music.
2. Finish what you started.
This song has a catchy vibe to it at first, but then you start having an overwhelming desire to smash the living fuck outta your cd player.
"I'm incomplete"? Yeah, evidently someone cut your gonads off because you sound like a female cat in heat that a rhino just took a runny shit on.
3. Feels so good.
You know what would feel good after hearing this dung-beetle taxi-cab confession?
Smashing the living fuck outta my cd player.
4. Black and Blue.
This kind of thing just turns my fucking stomach. I understand the concept, but the vocalist just comes off as some guy that wants his woman to kick his fucking ass because he probably got molested by his stepfather as a child.
Freudian-laced bullshit like this makes me wanna smash the living fuck outta my cd player.
5. Poundcake.
So now our forlorn squeaker takes a trip on the fat funtastic I guess.
Find a fold and fuck it squeaker, better yet, crawl inside and just fucking punch the ceiling and shit....maybe the g-spot 'ell look like a mutated pinata.
Not unlike a pinata, my cd player needs the living fuck smashed out of it.
6. Runaround.
I got about halfway through this thing before the squirrels outside started pelting the roof with green pinecones. The little furry fuckers were actually trying to smash the living fuck outta my cd player!
I closed the screen door promptly.
7. Right Now.
I need motivational, inspiration-inducing drivel about as much as a dying fucking beached whale needs a tanning bed. "Come on it's ehhhhverything"? No, dipshit it's nothing. Go sell this shit to the goddamned lifetime channel.
RIGHT NOW! I wanna smash the living fuck outta my cd player.
8. Top of the world.
Here we go again. Arrgh....the only thing this guy seems to be standing on top of is the decaying bowels of humanity. Let's hope some methane explosion obliterates this waste of fucking oxygen.
You guessed it, I wanna obliterate the living fuck outta my cd player after hearing that dipshit ditty.
9.Can't stop loving you.
What in gods name is this? Would some sort of piano bazooka be a ftting weapon to put this motherfucker out of my misery? Pure, unadulterated piss-fluff.
I'd like to smash the living fuck outta my cd player with that dudes face.
10. Not enough.
It's enough, I assure you. It's enough to make Christopher Reeve jump up and run ten fucking miles to the nearest jagged canyon and fling himself off just to end the pain you just piled on top of his crippling existence.
This shit makes me want to fling the living fuck outta my cd player off a jagged canyon.
11. It's about time.
This is just horrible. I mean, It's so fucking horrible it's insane. I think this shit is driving me insane. It's about time I took a timeout and smashed the living fuck outta my cd player.
12. Learning to see.
Learning to see? How 'bout learning to hear? I can hear, and what I hear makes me wanna smash the living fuck outta my cd player.
13. Up for breakfast.
I guess this is some sort of motivational drivel revisited or some shit. Do us all a favor, don't get up for breakfast...don't get up at all....just stay asleep forever.
I'm so sleepy right now I'd have to fumble around half asleep to smash the living fuck outta my cd player.
14. Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love (live)
I'm sure most everyone enjoys hearing a legendary song butchered by an ass-fucked gnome right?
WRONG
This is worse than the hindenburg, or the great white fire.
I'M GONNA SMASH THE LIVING FUCK OUTTA MY CD PLAYER.
Tracks 15 and 16 are un-reviewable.....
My cd player doesn't work anymore.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!! 3 FUCKING PEOPLE would buy it, and ALL 3 would return it for a REFUND!!!! 
:fucku2: :fucku2:
Comment