I seriously just fucked up bigtime.

[rustoffa]

Oops I did it again.

I'm sure most of y'all have been wondering what kind of serious-assed fuck up I could accomplish next. Welp, wonder no longer.

Being bored out of my fucking skull earlier, I decided to say hello to the dipshits on Talkshitty. This is no small task, as there are like 500 thousand chat rooms on that thing. So I did eeney meeney miney moe and ended up in ARGOS CHAT™.

This fucking chat room was weird. They were talking about relatives in GREECE and shit. I asked if anyone had relatives on CRETE, and commented about how fucking old it was. Some fucker asks me if I took a cruise over there. I'm like, "who the fuck are you? Agammemnon?" Then some bitch goes, "you mis-spelled it dumbass." It was on like donkey kong.

So I'm like, "sorry about the grammatical error afroditey, why are you mithological fuckers so fulla hate?" She commented on how that was kind of funny, and said "welcome to ARGOS CHAT™."

Then this other fucker goes, "I didn't think it was funny, I thought it was stupid." So I go, "Didn't you notice my name dude? It says Ackilleys....my fucking name has survived centuries....unless you're Paris Hilton, I suggest you shut the fuck up and learn how to shoot a bow and arrow!"

Right after that I got a little message that said "We know where you are, you don't belong here...GET THE FUCK OUT"

So I go back in there and ask why Zoose is sending me threatening messages. Nobody responded. Finally, the chick that thought the afroditey comment was funny said I should probably leave, because "THE GREEK MAFIA IS IN THIS ROOM!!!!"

I fucking loggedthefuckout.

First litigation, now I gotta go on the lamb.

me=hiding

[Northern Girl]

I'm waiting for the next chapter of the Rustoffa Fucked Up Bigtime series.

[rustoffa]

Originally posted by Northern Girl
I'm waiting for the next chapter of the Rustoffa Fucked Up Bigtime series.

I probably shoulda put the bb gun debacle in this thread. No worries....that kind of shit is like breathing in and out to me.

Some promising news: This dipshit at work left his medic alert bracelet laying around the other day. I found it, and taped a big piece of paper on it that said "if you find me unconscious, revive me with dick-to-mouth recussitation."

Everybody's all pissed off about it.

[rustoffa]

This doesn't have anything to do with interweb shenanigans...I might need a tetanus shot though.

So I went in the garage a couple minutes ago to put the charger on my motocycle battery. The fucking place has turned into a storage area for stuff that doesn't belong there due to the recent holidays. I'm like crawling over cardboard boxes and shit trying to plug the charger in....that's when I realize the surge protector is gone. I'm just ultra-pissed @ this point, and set my beer down before going back in the house to locate the surge protector that probably got enlisted for some stupid fucking christmas lights or something. I never found the droid I was looking for, but managed to procure a replacement. After navigating the menagerie of shit that doesn't belong there, I'm all set to hook the charger up. You know that feeling when you're just ready for a big swig of cold beer after aggravation? I had it, and reached for the wrong can. There is no way to properly describe just how fucking rancid the stuff in that can was. It was possibly 1/4 full of something that had been sitting there for MONTHS. I think it might have been Copenhagen spit from back in like July when I changed the voltage regulator. The shit I spit on the floor looked like motor oil with mushrooms growing on it. I gargled with listerine, then rubbing alcohol, and finally Hydrogen peroxide. I guess it was pretty bad, 'cause the hydrogen peroxide bubbled alot.

I just chugged some milk and cracked another beer.

[Northern Girl]

Ah, don't worry about it. You ever see the shit they digest on Fear Factor?

I think tetanus shots are good for 10 years if you've had one in the past; which I'm guessing you probably have. LOL.

[ALinChainz]

Stoffa ... stay out of the windows ... and don't answer the door!

Beer and milk ... veggies and dairy ... it can't hurt ya ...

[rustoffa]

Holy shit. When I finally found this thread, I noticed the last speel had to do with my garage. So does this one.

You may or may not have noticed the report regarding running over a rattlesnake with my lawnmower. Long story short, that's exactly what I did, and forgot to empty the bag. You understand the premise, right? Pieces of snake were left in the bag after I ran over the fucking thing...like for 36 hours.

Anyway, the little woman just informed me that the dog just puked up some pretty weird stuff on THE HOOD OF HER CAR!!!!

Stay with me now....I wondered immediately why the dog would have jumped onto her car to puke....I have no fucking answer for that. So I go out to the garage to get the ZIPWAX and rags, and notice that the bag on my lawnmower has been CHEWED TO PIECES.

That's right, my dog ate alot of lawnmower bag, dead grass, and pieces of snake.....and decided to throw up on the hood of a car.

Welcome to my world.

[Ally_Kat]

you need to write a novel. I'd buy it

[ThrillsNSpills]

Rustoffa if you want you can always get them with the colon cleanse troll.
In a classic philanthropic move where you can feign concern for peoples' health you can simultaneously disgust them beyond words by showing pictures of what gets removed from a clogged colon which will trigger incredible disgust from the posters.
They can't get mad at you though since you are "helping" them through education.

drnatura.com

I know..it's terrible..but good, eh?

You can go back to the sites you made angry and say wait, I've found this incredible discovery that can help and the tirade can degenerate into the pictured evidence.
It's wrong, I know.

I'm goin down.
down
down
down
down
down

[Ozzy Fudd]

Originally posted by rustoffa
Maybe this should be stickied. That's right, I just fucked up AGAIN. It's pretty fucking funny how I can manage to find THIS thread to bitch about my latest debacle, but still manage to post inappropriate material in the worst places.

There's this motorcycle board that I frequent that's mostly tech stuff....there's one venting forum on it though. Anyway, I just got BANNED for fucking posting a pic I meant to put in Ozzy's stupid shit and bullshit thread. So the venting thread was all fired up about this dude's FXRP (police bike) that he was having problems with and I fucked up. No, I DIDN'T fuck up.....those fucking sphincter-cuntrolled-braking dipshits can fucking fuel inject themselves to hell if this gets a motherfucker BANNED.

Oh Mother Fucker my sides hurt i will make a new thread so you won't
have such Hysterical tragedies ever again.

[rustoffa]

This is kinda live.:eek:

So, like an hour ago, someone deflated a bunch of holiday inflatables'...via pelletgun.


I DIDN'T DO IT.

Hang on.

[rustoffa]

This shit's getting pretty good. Timelined and everything. So, the little woman just told someone she needs to walk the dog. Right after that, I explained that I had a boatload of automatic shotguns, but no bb guns.

[rustoffa]

Sdalright......my dog was accused of sounding like a monkey....the little woman said that whoever decorated the yard must have been a monkey!

[rustoffa]

i just told the bastard that my dog takes pisses wherever....motherfuckers are laughing.....

[rustoffa]

the fat dumbass just asked me why I kept going in the house...I told him I had this crazy weblog that I reported shit on......LMMMFAO!!!!