Originally posted by Nigel
An Open Letter to TJMKID:

"You got the Blues, not Me, I'm Act One, King of the Hill, The Right Tool for The Job. I Made Up My Mind. Now that I'm back in Van Halen, to Stay While The Night is Young. She's My Machine!

I used to Bump & Grind, but some people think I'm doin' the Dogtown Shuffle with Sensible Shoes. Every night is no Weekend with The Babysitter, but That's Life! When you're great, you're Tight, You're Breathin It; Shoo Bop!!

We're older emotionally and physically. To Tell The Truth, If 6 was 9, that would be 99 and 40 Below that is Al's age. Hey, I'm Easy, I'm no Drop in the Bucket!

Wolfie's gaining Experience, but he's a Shyboy and loves a Hot Dog & and a Shake and drinks Thug Pop like it was Medicine Man! A Lil' Ain't Enough obviously but Eat Em and Smile, I says, Let it All Hang Out!

But he's totally in the Soul Kitchen cos when It's Showtime, he'll Stand Up to his family name and Counter Blast the Bottom Line like a Hammerhead Shark.

That Baby's On Fire, that stealth bass in Perfect Timing. His Elephant Gun is Damn Good, especially on That Beatles Tune (Beats Workin') on our new Big Train album.

A while ago, we were in some Cheatin' Heart Cafe, enjoying some Nightlife. Let's face it, he'll never be a male stripper at "Ladie's Night in Buffalo" and I'm still Just A Gigolo and I see this chick
and She's Looking Good, skin color of Black Sand and I says; "Hey Hot Stuff, Lose the Dress, Keep The Shoes"!!

Under a Black Light, Two Fools A Minute are Goin' Crazy, sending over drinks and yelling "Hey Wolfie, Shoot It, it's Last Call, Hey, You Never Know with A Little Luck, you might meet Lady Luck. (Or perhaps get some leg tonight for sure!).

Well, Van Heineken or not, it wasn't a Slam Dunk, but they were Relentless, Indeedido.

See, Wolfie didn't go down Tobacco Road, like his dad ( a Bad Habit), so he's on Easy Street, shagging California Girls in his Skyscraper!

Wa Wa Zat!?, I says, Don't Piss Me Off, shut Your Filthy Little Mouth cos I'm wearing a cup (courtesy of Alex), and you're in Big Trouble and Going Places, (like Land's Edge). (Although I dropped a mike stand in Phoenix and it still hurts right down to my Knucklebones). No Big Ting'

Now that we're on a break, I'm off to Tahiti to get some Sunburn on my assless chaps with Hina, my new Yankee Rose. I'm sure it'll be Just Like Paradise!!