Ok the title is a funny.. sort of. I faxed this letter. I do not wish to write it again or edit it . I would rather just fill in the blanks I left.

Peace for all
Greetings [redacted],
May this letter find you well and among good spirit.

I thought I would share a brief detail of my day. If you recall I told you about a person that had come to my home with no shoes and his toe nails where very long that I cared for his feet and thought about the feet washing (which I still have not got to attend) of the community, how it is a righteous example or humble example.. Anyway, his name was George. George was taken to [redacted] this evening about 6:50 pm. He had fell or in some way his head had gotten injured. He had asked me to go to the hospital last night with him because he was bleeding from his ear. I went. The doctor said it was a cut to the inside of his ear. Today he was still bleeding from the ear and very not well. We went again to the hospital. He has a broken bone in his head (the temple bone) and bleeding on the brain.
I am writing because I do not know how to feel about this:
Had I not been unpleasant and interfering, he surely would have died. A lot has occurred over the past two days. I am uncertain of quite how to view or my place.
Life is odd for me.
God willing, all is well with the colony. And for the Eleventh Day of the Ninth month I set my sights.
To all well wishes
[redacted]

So George's toe nail was and inch long. He could not have gotten into that state quickly and without neglect.
And more neglect, I saw. I have treated my dogs better than his "caregiver" has cared for him. The expression I used extensively that seemed to reverberate with people. He is her pet, not mine.

I was told, I was a good friend for what I did. This is not true. I just did the right thing. I do not know this man well. I will admit if he was my pet human, I would have done a better job.
I am frustrated I am angry I am stressed.

How can I be so unloved, of sorts, and so revered.

I was/am so angry with God. Event after event, I hear you are such a God send. If I am such a God send, why am I so forsaken and trialed?
How is it that people lives I effect are so foreign to me?
I am not not odd, I simply do what is right.
Why am I having such a time finding connection to people on an equal level?
There are so many examples, I would be here all night and it would not be healthy for me to nurture misgivings.
But even out at the colony, events occurred. One of the families saw the Aura borealis by chance when I arrived in Metter. He mistook this sign and had to confess to me his sin of misguided signs for attempting to proclaim me to the colony. I did not see this Aura borealis, but I do not doubt him, but I am not able to cause these things.

Is it not complacent? I wish to know love and to be loved. I wish to proved steward and be proved stewarded.

I am human, am I not?

I cried this evening. I was angry. I felt guilty. It was so strong I went to Guido's for prayer.
I said lots of things. I was still mad about having to come back. I felt guilty of being envious of my niece dying. I was tired of being a "God send" and no compassion for me.

I recall after my death I so wished to make prayer sanctuaries across the land. But as I left my own prayer sanctuary I felt the hunt descend upon me. I wish I was here to bring mercy, but I receive non. Therefore, have non to give. How can my anger be misunderstood as compassion? I want to ask questions why... What do people see? Tell me how I am different. So I may change to suit my environment. And you know, I have asked that question...I do not get any logical answers.

I guess this is enough. it is 12.02 am. I have had a long day and previous night.

I am not a supernatural, I am human. God have mercy on me. God have mercy on all.