Wednesday Morning At 6 O'Clock As DAVE'S Show Begins

[Phil theStalker]

Helloooooooooooooooo, BAYBEE!

Tit's 6:00am in da mmmorning and I'm PHIL THE STALKER LIVE on da INtwatnet.

I'm UP, UP, UP wit DAVE agin.

Dis is gonna bee da same as da last t2wo days, I cun't tell.

I just got up 10 minutes ago.

No script.

Butt yeeasterday I wanTITed t2o talk aboot

1) Hia Karate

2) Jessica Simpson

3) Brown M&Ms

I got t2wo aff them out bef4ore DAVE brought up HIA KAARATE cuntmmercials.

DAVE and I are on da same page, BAYBEE@!

DAVE talks t2o angels.

I'm here, tit's WEDNESDAY, Cato is mmmy co-host and cuntimes Golden AWe who's at werk in Funland and cun't hear DAVE.

Golden AWe talks t2o angels, t2oo.

Now enuff aff dat and let's git t2o mmmy show.

Be right back after dis.

[Phil theStalker]

T2oday's t2opics:

Candida How T2o Git Rid Aff Tit

Breast enlargements

Voodoo punnanny (mmy fav)

And aff course MY MEAN MORNING SHIT!

We can also talk aboot GAY GHETTOS like in West Palm Beach, Key West, and Lakewood-OHIO.

Send in yer posts.

Turn up da music.

I"ve got no mmusic.

I'll bee back afta dis.

[Phil theStalker]

Okay, I'll be taking yer posts.

I don't know where da fak Cato is.

Aff I'd have known I"d bee alone in da mmornings like dis I wouldn't have takcunt tit.

I"m listening t2o DAVE talking t2o mme LIVE from NYC!

DAVE, doon't question yer sexistance...Mosses was o1nce a BASKET CASE, t2oo.

DAVE sounds like he used a broom t2o git t2o da studio dis mmorning.

A limo broom.

DAVE is studdering and burping up REd Bull sugar free on da air.

I'll bee back wit Cato or Golden AWe, I hope.

[ELVIS]

I'm here this morning for a few minutes before running off t2o work...

Dave's show is at it's best so far t2oday...

Full of energy...

[Phil theStalker]

Morning radio.

Let's talk aboot PETA or People Eating Tasty Animals as I like t2o call tit.

Don't git mme wrong.

I LOVE ANIMALS.

I love sausages, bacon, ham, steeak in da mmornings, a feew animal eggs, da whole gammet...y'know mmy studdering and speeling.

TIT'S PARTY TIME!

Will DAVE cuntplain aboot his mike dis mmmoring?

Mman, t2oo mmany freaks in da mmornings and not enuff circuses.

Sasha's not DAVE'S type.

She's not an inflatable hooker!

I'M FUNNY!

Dip mmme in honey and throw mme t2o da LESBIANS!

Lick, lick, lcik, hookkers are optional.

Wot da hell are yoo all looking at?

Where are yoo Cato?

I am gooing t2o abuse da entire Intwatnet dis mmmorning.

TIt's early.

There's a lot aff wiggle room.

Let's starTIT dis agin.


BRB

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by ELVIS
I'm here this morning for a few minutes before running off t2o work...

Dave's show is at it's best so far t2oday...

Full of energy...

Good t2o hear from yoo ELVIS.

Your name's in all caps like DAVE'S name.

Hey, mmaybe yoo're relaTITed!

Doo yoo drink Red Bull while yer having sex, ELVIS?

yOO're a lousy liar.

[Cato]

good morning phil kun. Cato san is here.

[ELVIS]

I do drink sugar freee Red BULL!

[Phil theStalker]

I'm back BOLDLY GOOING NOWHERE.

DAVE sounds like he's in a phone booth.

Aren't ya glad ya got mme f4or yer early mmorning TRASH TALKING?

Ok

I don't know where Cato is, butt here is BRUTUS!

He's crying.

I'll try t2o git him t2o post.

SEnd a search dog out f4or Cato.

Give da dog a liter aff rum, y'know in o1ne aff those rescure dog things under his neck.

They could have used those things in New Orleans.

Man, da whole flooded city wouldn't have left at ALL!

REscue dogs wit rum in 'O'leens.

Tit would have been, could have been, butt tit's t2oo late.

My virginity is da line.

Dis is Wednesday anthing can happun day.

I didn't invent Sin, I'm just trying t2o perfect tit.

[ELVIS]

Kajitsu Cato !!

[Phil theStalker]

Let's talk aboot da American Ecuntomy.

Bush says tit's growning...like his delusional ego.

Joe Rogan says da werld will end in 2012.

No kidding.

TIME MMACHINE: "Granpa wot's a line?" "A line is something we stood in t2o get meat and bread after the American economy collapsed."

"Granpa, wot is meat and bread."

I can see tit now.

I'm LIVE in da mmornings, twisted humor in da mmorning.

Before Bush America used t2o be a GRATE cuntry.

Bush is always saying, in America everything is da best.

He says in America has da best jobs, da best food, da best toys f4or kids, da best aff everything.

I'm crying.

I want t2o go t2o da U.S.A..

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by ELVIS
I do drink sugar freee Red BULL!

ELVIS, yoo can bee my cunt-host in da mmornings?

Can yoo play wit mme?

I'm getting reedy t2o take a mean shit.

[Phil theStalker]

Dis is PHIL THE STALKER RADIO

Mmy readers ask mme aboot Bush's economic plans.

"Will we have money when da New WErld Order comes?"

Some will, some won't.

"Is tit possible to build da NWO in America?"

It's possible, butt who will we by oil from?

"When da final f=phase aff da NWO is built will there still bee stealing and corruption in government?"

No, becayse everything will be alreedy stolen and corrupt.

There yoo go.

[Phil theStalker]

Mean shit coming out!

BRB

Y'cee, dis is when I need Cato.

Or Golden AWe.

Golden AWe is very sexxxy.

Tell all da girls in Funland I said, hello, G=AWe.

[Phil theStalker]

When I come back from mmy mmean shit let's talk about HOW BAD IS LIFE UNDER DA BUSH REGIME.

Okay, doon't bee shy.

brb MORNING SHIITING TIME, BAYBEE!