Wednesday Morning At 6 O'Clock As DAVE'S Show Begins

[Cato]

phil, how da fak can I speAk like yoo?

[Phil theStalker]

I'm bak.

I shat.

T2oday was a nice shit.

Tit just plopped out.

Nothing fancy.

No straining, no blood, no bleeding.

I'm listining t2o brother DAVE while I'm doing mmmy PHIL THE STALKER IN DA MORNING SHOW.

My gene pool could use a liTITle chlorine.

I f4orgot da Cleveland WeEather and Traffic reports.

WEEATHER: Tit's snowing

TRAFFIC: Small craft warnings on Euclid Ave.

NEWS: We have been at war f4or f4our years and wee haven't won.

ok, nuff aff dat shit.

I wish I had sponsors.

I cun't beelieve I'm getting up dis early t2o do dis and I'm not getting paid.

Aff I got aff this early I'd have been AIMing flappo NAKED GRANNY PICS.

I think I'm alreedy living in NAKED GRANNY CITY, baybee.

CLEVELAND IS A CHOCOLATE CITY!

Wee got a CHOCOLATE mayor...agin.

BAck ON t2opic.

I'm gooing t2o do da rest aff mmy show in CHOCOLATE.

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Cato
phil, how da fak can I speAk like yoo?

Yoo doon't have t2o spEEK like mme.

Talk CHOCOLATE.

[Phil theStalker]

So, where were yoo earlier?

I needed sumboody t2o talk t2o da peeps while I took mmy early mmorning shit LIVE on da INTWATNET.

So where were yoo at 6am?

Y'know I''M not getting paid t2o doo dis gig and I"M here.

Wot's yer PROFESSIONAL eggcuse?

Try and weasle outta dis o1ne, Cato.

And, git mme a producer.

Dis is da ROTH ARMY and I'm eating CHOCOALATE.

My keyboard's got sticky, crushy splooge and a producer wood bee nice.

[Phil theStalker]

I"m not CHOC, I'm a whitey.

flappo knows dat.

CAn I talk aboot flapppo?

Does da whole werld know aboot flappo?

I can hear them saying rite now:

"I KNOW NOTHING ABOOT fLAPPO, PHIL THE STALKER."

And, I'm drinking a lot aff coffee.

flappo posts a lotta jew jokes.

O1nce flappo posTITed: Condi Rice A New Uncle Ben's Flavor

Is flappo a racist?

[Phil theStalker]

I like dis PHIL THE STALKER LIVE IN DDA MORNINGS gig.

Give mme ambiguity or give me sumthing else.

POint blank PERiod, BAYBEE.

Does da Cunstituion say, "We da peoples"? "We da peeps"?

Then how does da cunsTITution include blacks?

Y'gotta talk down t2o CHOCOCOLATE peeps I've notice.

Only da American o1nes.

[Phil theStalker]

Where are yoo, Cato?

Okay, I'm flying by da seat aff mmy ass here.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

Dat's who I AM, bayBEE!

[Phil theStalker]

Let's talk aboot UFOs and alien invasion.

Reagan talked aboot tit.

He wanTITed t2o unite da werld against a global threat.

He knew aboot da Bush family.

I say wee doon't spend so mmuch mmoney.

I say wee just built a big sign dat says:

EARTH FULL - GO HOME.

Tit might werk.

[Phil theStalker]

Okay, I woke up 15 mminutes beeF4ore gooing LIVE and on da Intwatnet and I thought I'd talke aboot VOODOO.

And guess wot?

DAVE is talking aboot VOODOO.

Doo yoo see any copyright problems?

[Phil theStalker]

I doon't believe dis, I gotta take another mmean shit.

Dis is SHIT HEAVEN in da mmmorning!!!

Okay, while I"m taking mmy SECUNT shit aff da mmorning I want yoo t2o send in yer posts.

Remember yoo have da right t2o remain silent.

And anything yoo say will be misquoted, then used against yoo.

[Phil theStalker]

Wee're back wit PHIL THE STALKER LIVE on da Intwatnet.

Dat was a false shit.

Tit's like a plantation aroond here.

HJow can he git away wit saying CHOCOLATE CITY?? huh

Wot is a FALSE SHIT?

Send in yoor posts aboot wot is a false shit.

Cunstipation mmaybe, butt I just shat 45 mmintue ago.

Dis is not reatarded.

DAVE is a Jew and he wants yoo t2o know NOT ALL WHO WANDER ARE LOST.

Lookie Moses, BAYBEE.

wE're GONNa mmake Cleveland a VANILLA CITY agin like bak in da day, homey.

Da only black in town was JIM BROWN aff da CLEVELAND BROWNS.

And he knew his place.

[Golden AWe]

yessss, i am very sexy.

and the grrrls here know it.

no, i don't think flappo is a racist.

he's a realistic kinda guy, who bases his stories in dA faCtsss

[Golden AWe]

i should have my own smilie.

maybe something aboot a polar bear, or something aboot james t. kirk.

we're all so very, very sexy.

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
yessss, i am very sexy.

and the grrrls here know it.

no, i don't think flappo is a racist.

he's a realistic kinda guy, who bases his stories in dA faCtsss

flappo is a racist.

T2o flappo he's BRITISH and everyboody else is GOYIM shit.

We cun't talk aboot flappo aff everybody who is LIVE wit mme on da INTWATnet dooesn't know who flappo is.


IT'S PHIL THE STALKER LIVE ON ROTH ARMY IN THE MORNINGS

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
i should have my own smilie.

maybe something aboot a polar bear, or something aboot james t. kirk.

we're all so very, very sexy.

Yoo're lowerin mmy temperature, Golden AWe.

CURRENTLY: A liTITle lite snow cuming down and Golden AAAAAwe just eclipsed.

At leest I have a co-host now.

Where's Cato?

I sent da search and rescue dog f4or him.

I put anti-freeze in da dog's jug insteed aff Rum.

I wunda aff Cato noTITiced.