CHEF MAXIMUS' KITCHEN or THE OFFICIAL ROTHARMY COOKBOOK

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  • diamondsgirl
    ROTH ARMY SUPREME
    • Apr 2004
    • 7563

    Originally posted by BottomLine65
    Just being funny...
    me too :D
    “Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding” ― Betty White

    Comment

    • Little Texan
      Full Member Status

      • Jan 2004
      • 4579

      Originally posted by Little Texan
      Anyone have any good recipes for Buffalo/Hot Chicken Wings, and any good Super Bowl recipes? We're having a Super Bowl party next Sunday at my mom's, and I need some food ideas.
      WELL?

      Comment

      • Little Texan
        Full Member Status

        • Jan 2004
        • 4579

        Thanks for all the great Super Bowl recipes, everyone.

        Comment

        • EbDawson
          Veteran
          • Apr 2004
          • 1674

          Originally posted by Little Texan
          Thanks for all the great Super Bowl recipes, everyone.
          Everyone was busy, I guess. :D

          Summer's coming tho . . . who needs the super bowl.
          "If anyone came here hoping to hear Sammy Hagar Van Halen, there's the fucking door, man!" Ralph Saenz, Atomic Punks

          "Carpe Mammarium"

          Comment

          • MAX
            Rotharmy Gladiator

            DIAMOND STATUS
            • Jan 2004
            • 13001

            For DG,

            Check out this one and we were right about the gooey/num nummy stuff.

            6 tablespoons butter
            1 cup chopped onions
            1/2 cup chopped celery
            6 tablespoons flour
            2 cups chicken stock
            1 cup half and half
            1 cup diced carrots, blanched
            1 cup sweet corn
            1 cup sweet peas
            2 cups shredded chicken breast, cooked
            2 tablespoons finely chopped parsley
            1 recipe Basic Savory Crust (recipe follows)
            Salt and pepper

            Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Grease a 9 by 9 by 2-inch square baking pan.
            In a large saute pan, melt the butter. Add the onions and celery and saute for 2 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Stir in the flour and cook for about 3 to 4 minutes for a blond roux. Stir in the chicken stock and bring the liquid up to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and continue to cook for 4 to 6 minutes, or until the sauce starts to thicken. Stir in the half and half and continue to cook for 4 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Stir in the carrots, peas, corn and chicken. Mix the filling thoroughly. Line the baking pan with one of the crusts. Pour the filling into the prepared pan. Place the top crust on top of the filling. Carefully tuck the overlapping crust into the pan, forming a thick edge. Crimp the edges of the pan and place on a baking sheet. Place the sheet in the oven and bake for about 25 to 30 minutes or until the crust is golden brown and crispy.

            Remove from the oven and cool for 5 minutes before serving.


            Basic Savory Pie Crust
            3 1/4 cups flour
            1 teaspoon salt
            1 1/2 cups cold lard or solid vegetable shortening
            4 to 5 tablespoons ice water

            Combine the flour and salt in a bowl. Add the lard and work it in with your hands until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add the water, 1 tablespoon at a time, working it in with your hands. Add only as much as you need to make a smooth ball of dough. Wrap it in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. Remove the dough from the refrigerator and place it on a lightly floured surface. For 2 crusts, cut the dough in two and put the second half back in the refrigerator. For each crust, roll the dough out on the floured surface into a square about 14 inches in diameter and 1/8-inch thick. Gently fold the square of dough in half and then in half again so that you can lift it without tearing it, and unfold into a square baking pan. Fill and proceed as directed in the recipe.

            Yield: 2 pie crusts
            EAT US AND SMILE!!!!

            Comment

            • MAX
              Rotharmy Gladiator

              DIAMOND STATUS
              • Jan 2004
              • 13001

              Heeyas an even easier and quicker one. Sort of like a dime store pot pie whore version. :p

              DERGREDIENTS:
              2 frozen pie shells
              1-10 3/4 oz cream of chicken soup
              1/2 C. milk
              1 bag frozen mixed vegetables
              2 C. cooked chopped chicken
              1 tsp. minced garlic
              1 small onion
              Coarse ground black pepper, to taste

              PREPARATION:
              Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
              Take pie shells out of freezer, separate, lay one pie shell flat, leaving the other in the pie pan, and thaw for 10 minutes. Meanwhile, defrost frozen veggies in microwave; chop and sautee onion. Mix chicken, defrosted veggies, sauteed onion, garlic, soup and milk in large mixing bowl. Pour into pie shell; top with flattened pie shell. Pinch edges together and poke holes in top crust. Bake for about 30-40 minutes or until crusts are done.

              VOILA!!!
              EAT US AND SMILE!!!!

              Comment

              • MAX
                Rotharmy Gladiator

                DIAMOND STATUS
                • Jan 2004
                • 13001

                My aunt told me about this awesome recipe idea and since it has peanut butter in it, I had to dermember it by posting it for DG in this thread. Bein' how she's The Army's resident peanut butter fanatic. lol

                Anyway, it was a take on french toast. It also has bernanas in it but I'm going to exclude them cos I hate them. This way I can make the toast for the Deej and if she happens to give me a bite, I won't make my yucky face. lol

                So DG, this is for you. :D

                First off

                Just make a typical batter for french toast.

                I usually use milk, whisked eggs, bernilly (that's vanilla for everyone else) and pinches of both salt and double pinches of sugar.

                K, so make your batter.

                Now here's where the peanut butter comes in as DG drools...

                Just like doing a grilled cheese, well, the way I do 'em anyway. You coat your bread with peanut butter on all sides. Then thinly slice up some strawberries. Take TWO slices of the bread (again, the same way you'd do a grilled cheese) put the thinly slices strawberries and some white chocolate chips in what would be the center with a little extra peanut butter.

                Smoosh the slices together cos we don't care how it looks at this point.

                Then soak, dunk and drench them in your milk/egg/bernilly batter.

                Now and just as you'd normally do french toast, heat up a frying pan. I always use butter. Hey, when one's making something such as this, fuck calories, fat or whatever cos this is yum yum time. :D

                Now for the even funner part!!! Once you've drenched the fuck outa your french toast sand in the batter, dip it in a bowl of rice crispies!!! I'm not kidding!!! Coat the sand up really good.

                Melt the butter, put your peanut butter/strawberry filled center, batter endrecnched/rice crispy coated "sammich" into the melted buvter/frying pan and do it just like you'd do a grilled cheese.

                Get it good and golden brown on both sides.

                Here's another touch. You know those plastic squeeze dispenser thingies with the tips on 'em that you find in diners for catsup or mustard?

                These things:

                They're only like a buck or two and come in handy if you cook a lot. So buy one for this.

                Anyhoo, microwave or heat up some of your favority jam, preserves or jelly. With this recipe, I'd go with strawberry. So, heat it up and put it into the aforementioned dispenser.

                Squirt a generous portion on the plate for decoration.

                Also, when you remove the french toast sammich from the pan, inject the tip of the jelly filled dispenser into the sammich and blow a generous load of the jelly into the sammich.

                Then cut the sand in half.

                What you'll then have is this crispy motherfucker with hot, gooey strawberry/melted white chocolate jizz and PB & J oozing out of the middle.

                Set the french toast sand atop the jelly decorated plate.

                Then put whatever it is you'd normally put on your french toast.

                For this, I suggest some buvter, powdered sugar and strawberry syrup.

                I'd also atop the beast with either bacon or some sausage. Depending on what they'd like as you surprise them with this feast as brekkie in bed or whatever the occasion.

                Sounds good doesn't it?

                Enjoy!!!
                Last edited by MAX; 03-08-2007, 05:33 AM.
                EAT US AND SMILE!!!!

                Comment

                • MAX
                  Rotharmy Gladiator

                  DIAMOND STATUS
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 13001

                  K,

                  I dunno if I've yet to share this secret that my grandmother always used for hamburger buns in this thread prior? Regardless and since I'm in this thread, here it is and I PROMISE that once you try this, you'll forever do your buns like this.

                  It works both when doing indoors or outside on the grill.

                  Granny's Hamburger Buns

                  It's easy...

                  All you do is spread a coat of mayo on the face down side of the buns and brown/toast them on low heat.

                  That's it!!!

                  When doing it indoors, use PAM or any other non-stick spray, get the pan pre-heated then put the mayo buns face down, fry them on low to medium heat to preferred doneness. They'll have a nice toast and epic flavor cos the mayo cooks into the bun.

                  Same goes on the BBQ. Just set them face down, keep an eye so not to burn them and cook them up.

                  Again, it's not a big deal but both anyone and everyone of whom I've ever shown how to do this loves them and never does burgers without them.

                  Anyhoo, a fun tip I wanted to share and thanks Granny, God rest your soul.
                  EAT US AND SMILE!!!!

                  Comment

                  • MAX
                    Rotharmy Gladiator

                    DIAMOND STATUS
                    • Jan 2004
                    • 13001

                    Here's a new one that I just dervented just a cupla weeks ago and boy, oh boy is it fucking good. Not for dieters at all.

                    I can't decide whether it's some sort of quiche, scrambled egg pie, crustless breakfast pizza or what the fuck? Dergardless, it's soooo fucking yummy that I've since made two more, my friends and brothers have also done their own variations as well. That's the good thing about it is you can put whatever the fuck you want in it. lol

                    Ok, I'll give you my step by step, then y'all can modify it to whatever you want etc.

                    K, first off I take a deep dish, non-stick, skillet-type cooking pan cos I own all of the kitchen hardware. Preheat the oven to 375.

                    In the pan, I took about six strips of thick-cut bacon, fried them up, removed them just as if we were just making bacon.

                    I set the bacon aside and chopped it up.

                    I kept the pan going though with all of that yum-yum pork fat/bacon grease. I then melted a generous helping of REAL FUCKING BUTTER!!!

                    I then take one yellow onion (finely chopped) along with some garlic (sliced it razor thin like in Goodfellas) and chopped up both a red and green bell pepper and got them going.

                    Next, I add a pound of ground pork sausage broken up into pieces. So far, I've found the Jimmy Dean HOT brand to work the best.

                    Gook all that together until the sausage browns. Season with a little salt and freshly ground pepper. Next, I add about half a bottle of chunky salsa and stir that all in.

                    In a separate bowl I take a dozen eggs, ground cumin, Berdasco sauce (Tabasco for the rest of you (lol) whole milk, salt and pepper and I beat the fuck out of it until there's an enormous ammount of froth to make the egg mixture BEYOND light and fluffy. I use what Everil calls a "boat motor" mine's made by BraUn and looks like this:



                    Anyhoo, I scramble the eggs like a motherfucker.

                    K, once you get the eggs beated to a pulp, pour the mixture in with the sausage/onion/pepper combo. On low heat, stir ut up so the sides start looking like an omlette. I then add the chopped bacon that I mentioned prior, sliced green olives and at least a pound of shredded cheddar and mozzerella cheese. I've also used mushrooms before as well. Seriously and as you can see, anything goes.

                    K, stir all of the shit in, remove from the stove and stick it in the oven. I dunno, for maybe like 15 to 20 minutes? Just keep checking. The thing rises like a soufle. You'll know it's done when the top is all golden brown (alonf with the sides and the cheese is bubbling.

                    Remove and let sit for about ten minutes. What you'll end up with is this fluffy pie that's soooooo fucking good. Slice it like pie wedges and serve with salsa or whatever.

                    Again, anything will work. My buddy's on a diet and he's substituted egg whites, turkey sausage and what have you. Also and what makes it so cool is the cheese kind of crusts it up so you get crispiness around the edges.

                    Anyhoo, that's a newy that I just made up.

                    Give it a try and tell me how it workks out. :D
                    EAT US AND SMILE!!!!

                    Comment

                    • MAX
                      Rotharmy Gladiator

                      DIAMOND STATUS
                      • Jan 2004
                      • 13001

                      Ally, Coyote or whomever stickied this,

                      That was awfully nice and thank you.

                      I've got a ton more recipes to add and especially with summer now being here. Lots of good grillin' ideas.

                      Anyhoo, this might me off topic but it does pertain to cooking shows and what have you.

                      Anyone watch Rachel Ray on FoodNetwork? I know she's some Oprah hotshot now but I still have the urge to make fun of her. lol

                      Now and don't get me wrong cos she seems like a nice person but I watch her "$40 A Day" show cos it's usually on right as I get home from work. K and this bugs the fuck out of me. lol

                      Evety-single-fucking-time she tastes whatever food she's just purchased in her travels she puts on some onscreen production like she's going for The Oscar for best portrayal of an orgasm!!! I mean food is good but geezus!!! Watched her take a bite out of a friggin' BBQ sandwich tonight and she acted like a submarine had just exploded in her port 'o call. Que the next segment where she takes a bite out of some homemade oreo and same effect. I mean, it's like her segments are almost becoming XXX Rated!!! It wouldn't be so annoying if she'd grab and utilize either a bananna or a zucchini but those squeals and sighs over some cheap meatloaf she just scored in at The Honeymoon Haven Motel in Bumblefuck, Iowa have got to go.

                      Why does this bother me? I dunno? Dergardless, is it just me or has this broad become sooooooo friggin' annoying that she needs to be banned?
                      Last edited by MAX; 05-29-2007, 03:33 AM.
                      EAT US AND SMILE!!!!

                      Comment

                      • Susie Q
                        Veteran
                        • Jan 2004
                        • 1523

                        Originally posted by MAX
                        Here's a new one that I just dervented just a cupla weeks ago and boy, oh boy is it fucking good. Not for dieters at all.

                        I can't decide whether it's some sort of quiche, scrambled egg pie, crustless breakfast pizza or what the fuck? Dergardless, it's soooo fucking yummy that I've since made two more, my friends and brothers have also done their own variations as well. That's the good thing about it is you can put whatever the fuck you want in it. lol

                        Ok, I'll give you my step by step, then y'all can modify it to whatever you want etc.

                        K, first off I take a deep dish, non-stick, skillet-type cooking pan cos I own all of the kitchen hardware. Preheat the oven to 375.

                        In the pan, I took about six strips of thick-cut bacon, fried them up, removed them just as if we were just making bacon.

                        I set the bacon aside and chopped it up.

                        I kept the pan going though with all of that yum-yum pork fat/bacon grease. I then melted a generous helping of REAL FUCKING BUTTER!!!

                        I then take one yellow onion (finely chopped) along with some garlic (sliced it razor thin like in Goodfellas) and chopped up both a red and green bell pepper and got them going.

                        Next, I add a pound of ground pork sausage broken up into pieces. So far, I've found the Jimmy Dean HOT brand to work the best.

                        Gook all that together until the sausage browns. Season with a little salt and freshly ground pepper. Next, I add about half a bottle of chunky salsa and stir that all in.

                        In a separate bowl I take a dozen eggs, ground cumin, Berdasco sauce (Tabasco for the rest of you (lol) whole milk, salt and pepper and I beat the fuck out of it until there's an enormous ammount of froth to make the egg mixture BEYOND light and fluffy. I use what Everil calls a "boat motor" mine's made by BraUn and looks like this:



                        Anyhoo, I scramble the eggs like a motherfucker.

                        K, once you get the eggs beated to a pulp, pour the mixture in with the sausage/onion/pepper combo. On low heat, stir ut up so the sides start looking like an omlette. I then add the chopped bacon that I mentioned prior, sliced green olives and at least a pound of shredded cheddar and mozzerella cheese. I've also used mushrooms before as well. Seriously and as you can see, anything goes.

                        K, stir all of the shit in, remove from the stove and stick it in the oven. I dunno, for maybe like 15 to 20 minutes? Just keep checking. The thing rises like a soufle. You'll know it's done when the top is all golden brown (alonf with the sides and the cheese is bubbling.

                        Remove and let sit for about ten minutes. What you'll end up with is this fluffy pie that's soooooo fucking good. Slice it like pie wedges and serve with salsa or whatever.

                        Again, anything will work. My buddy's on a diet and he's substituted egg whites, turkey sausage and what have you. Also and what makes it so cool is the cheese kind of crusts it up so you get crispiness around the edges.

                        Anyhoo, that's a newy that I just made up.

                        Give it a try and tell me how it workks out. :D
                        I'm new to this thread, and all I got to say is WOW! You a Chef or sumthin' Max? This sounds real good, but not something I would eat on a daily basis type thing. But I am going to give this a try and see how the hell it comes out. LOL

                        I try like hell to keep things all fluffy bunnies and pink daisies. But brutal truth smacks me in the ass all the time.
                        ~Susie Q 2009

                        Comment

                        • Susie Q
                          Veteran
                          • Jan 2004
                          • 1523

                          Originally posted by MAX
                          Ally, Coyote or whomever stickied this,

                          That was awfully nice and thank you.

                          I've got a ton more recipes to add and especially with summer now being here. Lots of good grillin' ideas.

                          Anyhoo, this might me off topic but it does pertain to cooking shows and what have you.

                          Anyone watch Rachel Ray on FoodNetwork? I know she's some Oprah hotshot now but I still have the urge to make fun of her. lol

                          Now and don't get me wrong cos she seems like a nice person but I watch her "$40 A Day" show cos it's usually on right as I get home from work. K and this bugs the fuck out of me. lol

                          Evety-single-fucking-time she tastes whatever food she's just purchased in her travels she puts on some onscreen production like she's going for The Oscar for best portrayal of an orgasm!!! I mean food is good but geezus!!! Watched her take a bite out of a friggin' BBQ sandwich tonight and she acted like a submarine had just exploded in her port 'o call. Que the next segment where she takes a bite out of some homemade oreo and same effect. I mean, it's like her segments are almost becoming XXX Rated!!! It wouldn't be so annoying if she'd grab and utilize either a bananna or a zucchini but those squeals and sighs over some cheap meatloaf she just scored in at The Honeymoon Haven Motel in Bumblefuck, Iowa have got to go.

                          Why does this bother me? I dunno? Dergardless, is it just me or has this broad become sooooooo friggin' annoying that she needs to be banned?
                          I like this chick, but yah, she is a bit too animated for me. Hey, Max....you gonna watch Hells Kitchen with Gordon Ramsey on Fox? I haven't missed a season yet.

                          I try like hell to keep things all fluffy bunnies and pink daisies. But brutal truth smacks me in the ass all the time.
                          ~Susie Q 2009

                          Comment

                          • Little Texan
                            Full Member Status

                            • Jan 2004
                            • 4579

                            Anyone have any good recipes for squash? I'm starting to pick quite a few from my garden, and I need a good recipe.

                            Comment

                            • Coyote
                              ROTH ARMY SUPREME
                              • Jan 2004
                              • 8185

                              Originally posted by MAX
                              Ally, Coyote or whomever stickied this,

                              That was awfully nice and thank you.

                              I've got a ton more recipes to add and especially with summer now being here. Lots of good grillin' ideas.
                              You're welcome.

                              Not that I'd be hungry, or anything... :D
                              Why settle for something you have, if it's not as good as something you're out to get?

                              Originally posted by Seshmeister
                              It's like putting up a YouTube of Bach and playing Chopstix on your Bontempi...

                              Comment

                              • MAX
                                Rotharmy Gladiator

                                DIAMOND STATUS
                                • Jan 2004
                                • 13001

                                WOW!!!

                                Both a response and a compliment from Rotharmy Royalty such as Susie Q? I must say I'm flattered.

                                Ummmm... I'm no "chef" persay but I've ALWAYS been addicted to cooking and cooking shows, even as a little kid. I absolutely LOVE to cook and make up things. When I was a young ruggie I remember watching the "Galloping Gourmet" and Julia Childs with my grandmother and to this day, I'm STILL and BEYOND addicted to the Food Network. I love watching Everil, Bobby Flay and some of their other shows. I hate the iron chef and shit but yeah, I rarely get much TV time in but those are the shows I love watching. Plus, I'm somewhat involved in that industry as a career, although I'm more on the spirits and wine part of it.

                                As for "Hell's Kitchen" I did watch it last season. Are there more? I did see previews for another one and I'll surely watch it if I'm home.

                                Again, thank you for the kind words.
                                EAT US AND SMILE!!!!

                                Comment

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