Dating a shy girl...

[shaggydoo]

Originally posted by NATEDOG001976
That was a great post! Thanks!

But I think it would be a bad move on my part to ask her to "take it the the next level" at this point. From my experience, women start the relationship, and 99% of the time end it too. I've fucked up doing that once before, spilling my guts after like 3 months.

Nate, I did not say that you must ask her "to take it to the next level"... that would be pressuring her. I think you do need to show her that you are interested in taking it further, but you also need to determine *if she wants* to take it further. The only way to do that is talk to her!

In talking with her, really LISTEN to what she has to say because if you have listened you will show her you have valued her opinion as important. This will do so much more to build her confidence than any bullshit about "throwing great curve-balls". You already said she is very shy so if she is interested to take it further then ask her for her help in doing so, what is she comfortable with, what pace she is comfortable with, etc. Also ask her how you can help her! Show you care, make her feel important and her opinions too, that will boost her confidence in your relationship. But don't pressure her.

I also think you need to ask yourself how much you really care about this girl. Are you prepared to tell her you want to go further but can wait for her to feel comfortable about it? Knowing that you want to go further but care enough to wait for her would probably be a major ego boost! People can suffer from shyness for their entire life, as you are not a psycho-analyst you can not expect to overcome it in any known time frame or even at all.

[shaggydoo]

Originally posted by Ally_Kat
Dude, how do you even know that's the reason? Seriously. Do you go on their dates with them? Did you go to elementary school with Nate or something? This is the internet....

I know because I have read Nate's posts.

From what I have read in your posts, I'm not sure you have really read Nate's posts.

I have offered my opinion based on what I have read. It is my opinion only. Maybe it is wrong, afterall I have recently loved and lost, so what would I know! At the end of the day Nate must search his own feelings as to what is right for him, but hopefully he will consider his Girl's feelings too. I hope he can succeed, I want him to succeed. Nate, I wish you success!

[shaggydoo]

shy girl, shy girl

shy girl, shy girl

shy girl, shy girl

gotta keep things movin' til my personality starts improvin'

[delta5150]

Don't think just to do it, the more you think about it, the more likely it's not going to happen, stop behaving like young virgins and get on with it, get stuck in my friend, life is short

[delta5150]

by the way ALWAYS be nice to her, very important ... but like I said, don't delay, if she's shy, then that's nice therefore take the initiative remember others are waiting

[Nickdfresh]

Originally posted by NATEDOG001976
Yes, I'd like to get in her pants, she's dam fine! But that's not all I'm looking for, I like her.

Then why not tell her - in not so many words? Tell her you think she's very sweet and cute, and that the time you spend together means something to you and that you hope she feels that way too. And maybe it could be so much more. Also, try making subtle physical contacts. Gently caress her arms, hold her hand, and find excuses to get close to her...

And if that doesn't work, start leaving condoms and bottles of personal lubricant around.

[binnie]

Originally posted by Nickdfresh


And if that doesn't work, start leaving condoms and bottles of personal lubricant around.

[tajmahal]

Dude, life is too short for a shy girl. If she is in her 30's its time to really talk to her and find out what is her deal. My experience with shy girls is there are some family issues growing up or there was a really bad boyfriend. I would do this soon or you are really going to get aggravated.

[bastardog]

You have been 2 and a half months to kiss her by telling her the truth.............so
is time to start with the lies

[binnie]

Originally posted by bastardog
so
is time to start with the lies

Ha Ha!!

If he just wanted to fuck her, then that would be good advice.

But as Nate says he wants a serious relationship with this girl, I would say lying will only damage that.

[Nickdfresh]

There are no 'lies' needed...

She either feels that way about you or not. And if she's hung around this long, I think what you both need is some truth and a long conversation in a very gentle, low-pressure setting (as Shaggy stated). She just might be waiting to know that you care, and are not JUST out to "hit it."

[WACF]

If you have gone this long and she seems into you....you need to talk to her about where "you guys are at".

She will appreciate your question and you will find out if she thinks you guys are potentialy "exclusive" or just hanging out.

Perhaps she has been burned...you never know...live and learn.

DO NOT ask about sex...if she wants to date you and only you then it will come...do not put the horse in front of the cart.

[Hardrock69]

Just flat out aske her if she will suck your dick!

Either she slaps your face, or she kneels.

None of this 'wondering what she is thinking' bullshit!

[NATEDOG001976]

Originally posted by delta5150
by the way ALWAYS be nice to her, very important ... but like I said, don't delay, if she's shy, then that's nice therefore take the initiative remember others are waiting

I'm very nice to her. I recently was on vacation in San Franciso, CA and I got her a t-shirt from the motorcycle race that I was at in Monterey. I tell her she looks nice too, I just don't over do it.

[Antman]

Being recently divorced, I'm really no one to give advice. But here's some anyway. Take it slow. It seems like you're becoming friends first. That will bring a comfort level between you two. Then just take it from there. You don't want to come on too strong. Just play it by ear and see what happens. She seems to like you. Good luck dude.