"The Ched Chunkhead Opens His Insufferable Piehole And Inserts Both Feet" Thread

[jhale667]

I'll always love Joe as a guitarist, but he's dead wrong about Spam being more "rock" than Dave...AS IF...
of course, he HAS to say something nice about the flatulent one, or he'll have to listen to MORE whining...

[chefcraig]

So now this dickhead wants to throw his two-cents into the toilet with his lame ass bandmate?
Fuck him, and don't argue that he 'didn't really say anything negative'... Fuck Him!

I honestly believe your anger is being misplaced here. It isn't so much what Joe Satriani (one of the blandest, most vanilla guitar players in the history of recorded music) is saying, rather it is the source itself. And by that I do not mean the knuckle-dragging rock star(s) themselves, but the moronic imbeciles that feel a constant need to put these dipshit "opinions" out into the ether to begin with.

Yup, it's the so-called "journalists" that take a 5-10 minute phone interview with some equally dubious "star", cut it up into little soundbites, add some horseshit to it to create a paragraph (or less), in order to distribute the tripe via blogs for two or three weeks to create bandwidth and site traffic. Seriously, does anyone truly care what color underpants Kim Kardashian wore at her wedding or if Miley Cyrus got a new tattoo? Fuck, I wouldn't even have heard of either of these two celebrities if I'd not found their names and likenesses splattered all over the internet in the first place. The entire "Get it fast, in color while not necessarily being accurate or even newsworthy" trend is one of the compromises that comes with cyberspace.

So to me, the issue isn't with what comes out of the mouth of Satriani, Hagar, that lunkhead who pretends to play bass in Motley Crue or any of these other instantly quotable, barely-musically inclined numbskulls out there walking the planet and using up valuable oxygen. The problem is with the lazy, harebrained twits that seem to attach some significance to what they say in the first place.

To put things more succinctly, one can always defer to the late Mr. Frank Zappa:

"Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read."
- Quoted to Linda Botts, "Loose Talk" (1980)

[Seshmeister]

I'm with Walker, the diminutive Kojak has just tied his flag to the Fatso gravy boat!

Fuck him and his background music for the surf scenes in between Karaoke machine songs !


#GNAJS anyone?

[sadaist]

I'll always love Joe as a guitarist, but he's dead wrong about Spam being more "rock" than Dave...AS IF...
of course, he HAS to say something nice about the flatulent one, or he'll have to listen to MORE whining...

On 1 side, Dave is more vaudeville. But he's also more rock. So he wins both categories. GO DAVE! Dave is more rock in one song than Sammy has been in his entire career (On Fire, Light Up The Sky, House Of Pain, China Town, I could keep going Sam.....)

And giving Sam props for the enduring success of VH? If the guy stayed in the band in 1996 they would be playing indian casinos today.......like Chickenface is.

[sadaist]

Fuck Him!

Gonna have to agree with your assessment. Fuck him.

[sadaist]

"Rock journalism .......for people who can't read."

I didn't 'read' your post Chef...but I gave you thanks cause it must be good with all them words filling it up. You sure got a purdy avatar.

[sadaist]

lol...this OUTSTANDING video of "Women in Love"

Funny thing. Women In Love is one of those handful of VH tunes I never ever think about, but when it comes up on the cd in the car, I always reach to turn it up specifically & sing along as loud as my nicotine riddled lungs will allow. It's like....I love it, but it gets lost in the shuffle amongst the humongous other standout songs that are heavier or more upbeat. Hard to explain.

[Olompali4]

http://www.antimusic.com/news/12/February/23Hagar_Says_Eddie_Van_Halen_Didnt_Get_It.shtml

Hagar Says Eddie Van Halen Didn't Get It?

02/23/2012
.
(hennemusic) In a new interview with Goldmine, Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony discuss the Chickenfoot's strategy to beef up its vocal sound even before they recorded "Chickenfoot III" and the conversation turned to their former band Van Halen.

"Singing with him, he's the only guy that I know that could just go above [me]," adds Hagar. "I don't care if I'm at the peak of my range; he can get up above me, just squeeze his nuts and get on up there – and right on key, he can mimic my phrasing. He's just … he's so fast. That's the thing that people don't understand about Mike. He learns faster than anyone I've ever met in my life. Joe Satriani, Eddie Van Halen … guys come up with riffs, and come on, I can't f**king play them. I'm sitting here with an acoustic guitar around the house still trying to learn these riffs on this record, and I ain't got 'em down yet … And he's playing his ass off in this band."

"He never played like this in Van Halen," Sammy continues. "Eddie [Van Halen] doesn't even realize what a great bass player he had. I think he never realized it, and that is his complete loss. I remember recording in Van Halen, Eddie was always saying, 'Just play eighth notes.' And he would play all this stuff, and Mike's just going, 'boom, boom, boom, boom.' Boy, Mike's really capable of playing more than that, and he never found out. So Mike and I, one time, we're in Cabo San Lucas when we were in Van Halen — say probably around '89, '88 or '89, when we were still loving each other, and having a good time — and Mike was in Cabo jamming and doing a live broadcast from the Cabo Wabo for some album network that I think used to be around that would do live broadcasts. And Ed is listening to it on the radio, and we get back and he asked me who was playing bass? He went, 'Yeah, yeah, you guys did 'Crossroads' by Cream,' and he goes, 'Who was playing f**king bass on that?' I'm saying, 'That's your brother right over here.' That was Michael Anthony on the bass. And Ed goes, 'Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?' And then he'd smoke a cigarette, take a hit off a beer and go, 'Hmmm.' But, he didn't get it, you know? But Michael has been tearing it up on this record." more on this story

[evil_lil]

Yeah, Fuck Joe Satriani...Anybody that can utter the phrase " Sammy was more rock" with a straight face loses all credibility in my eyes.

[jhale667]

I'm with Walker, the diminutive Kojak has just tied his flag to the Fatso gravy boat!

Fuck him and his background music for the surf scenes in between Karaoke machine songs !


#GNAJS anyone?

Just did...tweeted to @chickenfootjoe "Love ya dude, but must respectfully disagree...Sammy is nowhere near as #rock as DLR - never was, never could be!"

He's a nice dude, seriously have nothing against him, but he's so wrong about this... and while I tend to agree 3 more CDs with Dave would be awesome, ADKOT destroys dickenfoot. Badly.

[Guitar Shark]

Dave is more vaudeville and Sammy is more rock.

LOL... how can anyone even say this with a straight face? There must be a lot of drugs involved.

[MUSICMANN]

On 1 side, Dave is more vaudeville. But he's also more rock. So he wins both categories. GO DAVE! Dave is more rock in one song than Sammy has been in his entire career (On Fire, Light Up The Sky, House Of Pain, China Town, I could keep going Sam.....)

And giving Sam props for the enduring success of VH? If the guy stayed in the band in 1996 they would be playing indian casinos today.......like Chickenface is.

Man i agree 100%. What the fuck giving props to 2 guys that haven't been in the band for almost a decade. Uncle Fester needs to STFU and learn how to play a actual groovy and memorable riff. MA must be the dumbest mother fucker on the planet to hitch himself with that fat fucker and the only one that has actually shown class is Chad. The only thing that the sammy era left was a case study on how you can turn a legendary hard rock band into a pussified pop band with lyrics that compete with a second grader.

[Vinnie Velvet]

See kids, alcoholism is bad....really BAD!

Look at what it made Eddie do.

[ThrillsNSpills]

Uncle Fester needs to STFU and learn how to play a actual groovy and memorable riff. .

C'mon now.
Call him Kojak.

[SunisinuS]

Just did...tweeted to @chickenfootjoe "Love ya dude, but must respectfully disagree...Sammy is nowhere near as #rock as DLR - never was, never could be!"

@chickenfootjoe and btw...why is Spambo so Fat? Did you mean the fatter you are the more the #rocker you are? If so...Chedhead wins Flabs Down!