The Sheep Pen

[Bubba the Luvva]

We're so funny!

[Bubba the Luvva]

If it's not by the pro's, it fucking blows!

[Bubba the Luvva]

If it's not by the pro's, it blows!

[Bubba the Luvva]

Sapm sucks, doncha think?

[Nickdfresh]

Stop with the Gunt pics fucker!

[Bubba the Luvva]

Later SHEEP!

[Nickdfresh]

Originally posted by Matt White
Sounds like one of the GRATEST MOVIES EVER MADE!!!

I'm not sure, but I think this is the one: "Some Girls"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098356/

[Nickdfresh]

Link

[Rikk]

Figures that this sad alias can't even spell humus.

[Rikk]

* * * * * SHEEP PEN ANNOUNCEMENT * * * * *

I am proud to announce the addition of our latest SHEEP PEN Admin. Now normally, when an Admin is added, I make sure I consult with the other Admins before making addition. It is important to do this.

For instance, when I originally wanted to add WARHAM to the staff, ACADEMIC PUNK sent me the following response to my suggestion:

No fucking way! I hate WARHAM so much, it makes me so angry. There is no one on Earth I hate more than WARHAM. In fact, if you add him to the staff, it will be a short reign, because I will track that son of a bitch down and, so help me God, I will fucking kill him. That's right! I will kill him!! He is the biggest son of a bitch on Earth. He is a right jerk, I can tell you. So my answer is NO. N-fucking-O!

Oh and fuck you, RIKK!!!

Of course, we added WARHAM anyway.

So why as the Pen Admins in the first place, you ask? Well, because every good dictatorship should present itself as a democracy...even if it's a false one.

But seriously, folks...there was no need to consult my giant staff about this addition. Hell, there wasn't even a need to consult the other SHEEP PEN Admins either. This is a man that deserves it like no other. And he hates SHEEP and Hagar more than so many posters put together. And he certainly has a large pair of hedge shears and a "bad habit" of shearing a little too closely to the skin.

This is a man that has been here from Day One. In fact, he was one of the founders of the Pen. And the only reason he left was because back when two or three idiots were trying to get this thread closed by spamming it, MAX left the Pen to cool things down. A self-sacrifice just to keep the place alive. Few remember this, but I left as well for a month or so, just so the Pen could survive. "Wow, you're an amazing guy, RIKK!" Yes. I sure am amazing.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls...I bring you our latest SHEEP PEN Admin...

MAX!!!!!




So, now, once again, I bring you your SHEEP PEN staff!!!!

RIKK

RIKK is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. His friendliness knows no bounds. His caring and brush-off nature is legendary in these parts. Well-respected and highly-intellectual poster VH LINKS SUCKS once called him: "Maybe the nicest person I've ever come across on the internet." Super-intelligent and well-liked alias FASTER PUSSYGUNT calls RIKK: "Maybe my best friend in real life. I can't believe how well we've always gotten along. He is so great, it just makes me so happy thinking about how good we've been for each other. Just a fantastic human being that I can't envision anyone having a problem with. I'm in love, you know." RIKK currently resides in Iwo Jima and enjoys Sugar-Free Rice Krispie Treats. He is Head Priest of the Church of ALAN THE PANTHER, the greatest of all the panthers. He is also a DUMP MEISTER and a solid believer in the school of GRIMSDALE, REV, GOLDEN AWE, FIGS, CATO, MR. BADGUY SIR FLAPPO and the other DMs.



MATT WHITE

MATT WHITE is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He began swimming when he was seventeen and is currently a world class swimmer and athlete. He is also the inventer of the two-second handjob and has killed four people with a hammer. His other PEN members praise him...BILL LUMBERGH: "When I think of MATT WHITE, I think of how much one person can hate another sorry sack of shit. Fuck him and his argumentative bullshit." BUENO BOB: "MATT is so fucking argumentative that it makes me so angry. I get so mad I want to hit him with a pool cue until he's dead and then hit him some more. I need fruit roll-ups and my dick is itchy. Larg!!" MATT currently resides on SHANNON DOHERTY's front lawn and is hoping to "tell her off" for quitting SCARE TACTICS when she was at her career peak. He is the coiner of the phrase: "Bring me the head of STEPHEN BALDWIN." He also digs the early years of the Osmonds and is looking to purchase a used copy of their box set. If you would like to do said business or if you would just like to send someone random insults, please e-mail Matt at lsmith@hotmail.com.



BILL LUMBERGH

BILL LUMBERGH is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He is unique among the SHEEP PEN Administration Staff in that he is the only open homosexual. BILL: "I love being gay. I feel so strong being with another man that it inspires me to go out and buy bagels. I love water sports. It makes me feel like I'm inside another man." BILL began collecting GEORGE MICHAEL memorabilia in the mid-80s and followed GEORGE's early concert career from arena to arena as a Whamhead. MAX: "I hate BILL LUMBERGH. There are sorry sons of bitches, and then there's BILL. When he tries to convince me that GEORGE MICHAEL has even half the talent BOY GEORGE has, I want to vomit up the secretions of the three wives I ate out last night." BILL currently resides in Dover, Delaware and is looking for work for the next three months until MICHAEL-ATHON 2005 this summer, after which he expects to spend the Fall in jail for jumping on George during his Q&A session at the Delaware convention. His greatest trait is that he never goes on breaks from the Army. He's always around...24 hours a day, 7 days a week...in stereo. "I'm always here," BILL says, "because my children aren't as important to me as the site. I have my priorities set right...I post here instead of looking after my kids." Well done, BILL!



NICK D FRESH

NICK D FRESH is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He is a trouble-making buffoon that only joined the SHEEP PEN because RIKK was intending to PM the well-respected poster DIAMOND DEN to offer him the gig but he sent the PM to NICK instead. NICK is not very intelligent and he didn't understand why the PM was addressed to DIAMOND D. He assumed that the "DIAMOND D" greeting was RIKK's playful way of substituting the word "DIAMOND" for "NICK", which people would only do if discussing the jewel-like qualities of the music of NICK CARTER. NICK repsonded enthusiastically with the following PM to RIKK: "Fuck yes! I have nothing else in my life to look forward to. It's so empty and black. In fact, I was about to kill myself until you offered me this job, RIKK." RIKK took pity on the pool fool and gave him the job, though what he does around here, we don't know. Recently, he owned well-respected and loveable banned poster PETE. Everyone knows that PETE is the most well-respected, cherished, loved and sought-after posters at the Army. His dick is shrinking and he has more friends than Ted Bundy did just moments before his execution. NICK currently resides in Peking and eats two gerbils a day. He's an aerobics trainer every other week. He also is in love with ALBERT, the sort-of mascot of the Rotharmy. They plan to have kids one day, unlike BILL LUMBERGH.



BUENO BOB

BUENO BOB is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. GARY COLEMAN once said of him: "Dat mudda is fat! So fukkin' fat!!" ALAN THICKE agrees: "The Army is a great place. But BUENO BOB is the greatest thing about it. Without him, the place would be shit." "I consider myself a sexual man," BOB says. "My sexual prowess knows no bounds. I wake up in the morning and play with my lightsaber. Then, while I'm showering (every four mornings), I close my eyes, use the 'force', and play with my lightsaber again. I like watching recent films with cinema greats like KIRK CAMERON or TRACEY GOLD, and then I begin to play with my lightsaber. It goes on for hours...the perfect circle. Who's scruffy looking? Not this piece of Sith." ALAN THE PANTHER once said of BUENO BOB: "Larg! I hate BUENO BOB. There are sorry sons of bitches, and then there's BOB." BOB has many hates in his life. One is STAR WARS and the other is sheep. But he joined the SHEEP PEN because he thought we like to make fun of real farm sheep...you know, the kind with real wool and everything. BOB's IQ was last reported at 68. He currently resides in JAKE'S DINER out on ROUTE 64 by GRAHAM'S WORMS AND AMMO. BOB is a Dark Lord of the Sith and the apprentice of the Emperor, the egotistical "tit" RIKK.



POOP BOY

TJVHOU812 is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. Known to his friends and many lovers as POOP BOY, he joined the Army in the summer and was actually a SHEEP OF THE WEEK. His incessant love of all things SAMMY HAGAR, plus his knows-no-bounds stupidity made him a quick target of RIKK and his friends' "pick-on-the-smaller-person" level of fighting. RIKK: "I like to pick on people I can beat because that's the kind of integrity I possess. I also like kicking people when they're down. That's really what the Pen is all about...beating the stupid." For some reason, the PEN gang realized that POOP BOY was really one of them, and (demonstrating their insanity) they decided to have him join the Administration Staff. NICK: "POOP BOY joining the Pen was probably the greatest day of my life." DLR7884: "When I joined the Pen, POOP BOY was there to greet me with open arms. It was so fucking gay and annoying that I hit him until he bled and was crying. Then I hit him again and again until he stopped making any noise. And then I hit him some more. I hate him." POOP BOY says of his Pen status: "Being in the PEN is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. It is so great that sometimes at night, I just can't believe my luck. My life is complete, and it's all because of the SHEEP PEN. Wow...I am just so happy, I can tell you. Gosh." POOP BOY currently resides in Nashville and is working on his second album, I Think I'll Get Drunk and Then Go Home and Hit Her.



DLR7884

DLR7884 is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He is also the picture of non-judgmental, calm and loving behavior. "I am at one with the world. My karma is with the Lord, and I cannot accept that there is not good in every single soul I come across. I like to look for the good in everybody. If someone insults me, I say, 'Hey, let's work this out, brother.' I love you like I love all my brothers around the world." Ever since joining the Pen, he has had major issues with the way Pen staff get involved in fights at every step of the way. His avatar speaks peace, and he has wanted RIKK to know that fighting is not the way to solve the ARMY's problems. DLR7884: "I can't believe how much fighting goes on. And I want no part of it. I'm here to help people." His love for VH LINKS SUCKS also knows no bounds. "I love him...he is like my sibling. He is a beautiful human being, I can tell you. His insanity and complete separation from the real world in their heads is part of their charm. The day he dies will be a great day for everyone, but at least I'll remember the good times..." DLR7884 resides in Detroit where he leads an idyllic country life. He also (until recently) was the mentor of SAMMY'S BITCH (who was also DAVE'S BITCH at one point). But the cunt talked back to him and he's done with her. "She will pay," he promises, clenching his fists and thinking of the young 15-year-old girl.



ACADEMIC PUNK

ACADEMIC PUNK is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. His joining the SHEEP PEN was a natural step because the coolest posters need some place to congregate and be cool and pretend they're bigger than they really are in real life. ACADEMIC PUNK: "I'm a loser in real life. I've never worked. I've never had a girlfriend. I'm a virgin (sound familiar). I live at home and can't even read very well. My family hates me and I hate myself. Basically, I'm exactly like RIKK. He is such a fucking loser. So is POOP BOY. So is NICK. So is MATT. So is BILL. So is 7884. So is REVERBERATOR. So is BOB. They're all losers. RIKK asked me to join because he said having a Pen and fighting with other internet losers brings about the kind of mental stability and ego-stabilization that I could afford if I were employed and had a good health plan and were literate. I'm so thankful for the opportunity." BILL has called ACADEMIC PUNK "maybe the greatest friend of my life. I get hard when I think of him. Sort of like when I get hard thinking of my GM Faith Tour bootleg DVD." AP is a guy that is such a fucking bleeding asshole, BILL was looking for him just the other night to ask if he could fuck him again for seconds. ACADEMIC PUNK currently resides at home where he has learned to read the names of the games on the display covers of his older brother Leon's Playstation Games. He was recently missing for three weeks, and just before his return home (where he was apparently suffering from an attack by several chickens), he was being discussed on LARRY KING LIVE. Celebrities were quoting him...Jane Fonda was fond of this one: "FUCK YOU, YOU CUNT!!! I'LL KILL YOU, GOAT FUCKING DOG-LICKER!!!" Larry King was playing old clips and telling his viewers: "AP...one of the great ones. Let's pray he comes home safe." AP was also recently excited to learn that Army Poster IMAPUSSYLICKER is actually a woman! This excited RIKK too, and now AP and RIKK are fighting over her.



WARHAM

WARHAM is the Army's best photoshopper. He is also among RIKK's best friends at the site. Of course, once NICK found out that WARHAM was being added to the staff, he tried to have RIKK killed in a coup before the move could take place. The attempt on RIKK's life was successful, and RIKK is plenty pissed off. "I'll get him for that! He'll definitely never try that again!" RIKK promises. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, WARHAM was made a new SHEEP PEN Admin. WARHAM: "I can see myself doing many things when I join the Pen. First off, the Pen will now be about right-wing values and politics. And NICK better be in-line with them or I'll kill him. Second, I love cyber sex. I say that all the Pen Admins start having as much cyber sex as possible and then once a month, we can publish the transcripts of the best experiences. My recent cyber sex with beloved Army poster FASTER PUSSYCUNT...er...CAT is sure to be notorious and will bring erections to Rotharmy posters galore." WARHAM is indeed a funny and crazy guy. Having him join the Pen will make us even more dangerous. The SHEEP will have much to fear. The enemies of the state will have much to fear. Even ALAN is worried. The PEN is so strong right now that my dick is envious...even when FAB and I are IM'ing!!!



DIAMONDSGIRL

DG is all woman, yet she's not fat. She apparently has very big tits and likes it rough. She also likes it when she can grab...okay, okay. Anyway. DG has been in the Roth community for years. I remember this chick from way back when. And she's a true sister. Did you know that she and VHLINKSSUCKS were also once an item back in the 50s? Well, it's true. And she's still carrying a torch: "I love ALBERT so much. He gets me so hard." Anyway, the idea for a Pen Mistress came to me when BOB, my Sith Lord, pm'd me and said: "We need a chick in the Pen. I've been lying about the whole 'living with a woman' thing and need to meet someone really soon. Can you help me?' Well, I'm the King of Plaigarism, folks. If the DUMP can have mistresses, well then, so can the Pen. And there will be more...oh yes! Many, many more! HA HA HA HA!!! But seriously, this is our first Pen Mistress and a special moment. But she's not just some chick I'd like to sleep with holding a whip and wearing S&M gear and carrying an attitude. Oh no, we're talking a prime piece of Roth-promoting, sheep-killing lady. This woman hates Sammy more than Dave does. She's called Diamondsgirl for a reason. I think she'll do a 'swell' job, and so do the Pen Admins. Furthermore, she'll bring some sex appeal to the Pen, since the rest of us have cocks.




REVERBERATOR

REVERBERATOR was born in 1908, a year he remembers well. "That was my seventeenth year on Earth," he declares, "and also the year I was born. I was born hard and I took it upon myself to feast on someone else's afterbirth." After his birth, REVERBERATOR was choked to death by the nurse using another baby's fresh umbillical cord. His death shocked millions, and he's still pissed off by it. This is why he became a detective. "I became a detective because I knew I could get away with my lifestyle then. I love fucking birds, usually married ones. And they love my gun. They like touching it. They squeeze my love juice until the panzers roll in." When we did our interview with REVERBERATOR, he was hard. He was thinking about the Dump and how great it is. "Wank alert," however, was his only comment. REV is pleased with his new position as a PEN ADMIN and is ready to hurt sheep. FLAPPO sent his congratulations in the form of a telegram: "You're an idiot, REVERBERATOR." And GRIMSDALE had no comment except to smile and throw a few crisps in his mouth while picking his nose. All is well. I think I'm going to make a nice salad.



...AND OUR LATEST ADDITION...

MAX

MAX is very proud of his devout Mormon lifestyle. MAX: "Basically, I married the mother of my children back in the day. And things were fine. But since then, I got bored, I needed some help around the house...so I married four more women. One of them was my first cousin, Oomfoofoo. She's a black tribal priestess from Nairobi. And she gives great head...well, it feels good. Mind you, even with five wives, I get erections when the wind blows because, frankly, I don't even have any skills getting my own wives into bed. I try and I beg, but they just want to have sex with each other. So, I get out the JVC videocamera and film it. In fact, RIKK is pretending that he's so happy to let me back into the Pen...but he's actually only doing it because I mailed him a copy of my latest film: FIVE WIVES AND A HARD-ON THAT NEVER GETS SATISFIED BY ANYTHING BUT A LEFT-HAND. Also, RIKK had to let me into the Pen because if he didn't, I told him I would post transcripts from his IM sessions with FASTERPUSSYCAT. It was quite hot and heavy. RIKK, a man who loves cats, really got his jiggy on...and this made his previous IM excursions with Army women look like a Fellini film with all the sex edited out." Uh, MAX is now a Pen Admin... Congratulations, MAX.

[Shaun Ponsonby]

You missed Vanzilla, or is he dead?

[Nickdfresh]

Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
You missed Vanzilla, or is he dead?

VANZILLA...

He's on "hiatus."

[Nickdfresh]

Welcome back to the SHEEP PEN MAXIMUS!

[Bill Lumbergh]

Max is back in the Pen?! There goes the NO FAGS rule..........

[Nickdfresh]

Originally posted by Bill Lumbergh
Max is back in the Pen?! There goes the NO FAGS rule..........

:D

BILL, you've opened many doors in the PEN. You're a true "flaming" trail blazer...:D