The Sheep Pen

[scorpioboy33]

actually two

[lms2]

ball was better. I know the neighborhood. The talk is cheaper if the story is good. (Hey its the sheep pen )

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by lms2
[B]I know the neighborhood...The talk is cheaper if the story is good....[B]

...And the tale grows taller on down the line....

YA TAKE IT ON THE RUN, BABY
IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT IT, BABAY...
WELL I DON'T WANT YOU AROUND...

I DON'T BELIEVE IT...
NOT FOR A MINUTE...
YER UNDER THE GUN, SO YA TAKE IT ON THE RUN...

OK, returning to sanity

Quick REO break for ya all

[lms2]

Return to Sanity. How did you get a round trip ticket?

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by lms2
Return to Sanity. How did you get a round trip ticket?

The girl at the travel agency thought I was hot...showed her my "Special Skills...the kind that thrills..." :D

[lms2]

LOL

What I need is a one way ticket to paradise.
I'd pack my bags and leave tonight.

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by lms2
LOL

What I need is a one way ticket to paradise.
I'd pack my bags and leave tonight.

I know you feel these are the worst of times - I do believe it's true. When people lock their doors and hide inside, rumor has it it's the end of paradise, but I know - if the world just passed us by, baby I know - you'd always be around, my my.

[Rikk]

Originally posted by FORD
Actually, I'm a little more concerned with what Diaper's doing to that poor dog in the picture with him. Dog looks pretty frightened to me....

Good point!

DIAPER, I'm an animal lover. So are my administrators. No animal abuse (sexual or otherwise) in the SHEEP PEN. Three weeks in the shearing kennel with no food from the trough or LONG ROAD TO CABO DVD viewing for you.

DIAPER, you really are shaping up to be the most undisciplined sheep ever! We here at the Sheep Pen are getting tired of your shit and think you need to shape up or else we'll drag you around the grounds on the back of a BAD MOTOR SCOOTER. Remember, you may think it's okay to listen to Sammy Hagar music in the privacy of your own personal pen cell. But Katydid will be the first to tell you...God is listening, and he'll make sure you pay for it on JUDGMENT DAY.

Loser.

[Lou]

Bump

[Rikk]

* * * * * SHEEP PEN ANNOUNCEMENT * * * * *

Well, it's time for the SHEEP PEN to open for business again. I would first like to thank many friends for concerned PMs about where I've been the last little while. Well, it's clear to me that the Army is being inundated once again with a new flock of Ched Heads. Let 'em run free in the pasture for a few days and they'll rise up, throwing copies of LONG ROAD TO CABO at the Moderators.

Damn you, SHEEP!!

Well, my administrators and I have been talking and we've realized that it's time to take out the trash. I invite all of our friends to join in our latest assault on the new sheep. We've definitely "welcomed" a few woolly friends into the Army in the last few days, but there has been one idiot above them all. Yes, it is time once again to announce our latest SHEEP OF THE WEEK!!!

Now last week, we considered throwing in a certain bile-sucking Army cancer (well actually, not her, but in fact all of her aliases). But our better judgment prevailed. She's small potatoes, she no longer matters. She's also spending time at some other site where five or six Sammy Hagar fans have a great time and discuss both "music" and dentures.

No, our SOTW this time is a genuine sheep that you must all pay attention to. This little twat never ceases to both insult Dave and throw his opinions down Army members' throats (like an evil and sexually deviant cell mate, looking for any chance to throw his dick in his roommate's mouth while he's asleep ). Yes, we're talking about everyone's favorite cheerleader of bad taste, TONGUE-N-GROOVE...I mean, TONGUE-IN-ASS. You don't believe me? You think he's a great guy? You think he deserves respect, love and adulation at this-here Army? Read this:

"5150 is my favorite VH album!"


Jesus Christ, TONGUE-IN-ASS...even our resident 14-year-old, DEAD-OR-ALIVE, is fully aware how moronic that statement was. I quote the young lad: "5150 sucks. PERIOD!"

Of course, TONGUE-IN-GROOVE wouldn't agree. After all, he says:

"TheVHagar era has more Good tunes to offer than the VRoth era!"


This is the man who calls WHEN IT'S LOVE a "kick ass tune that just makes you go Hell Yah!" I mean, I feel bad for him. He was dropped on his head as a child...and he was molested by his Uncle Gilmore. Late-night peepee touching by a liquor-breathed bald man can convince you that a frizzy-haired Big Bird-lookalike could lead CANNIBAL CORPSE, let alone VAN HALEN. Then again, he thinks PANAMA would be better without the vocals.

How about:

"VH1 didnt make Dave out to be an asshole, Dave IS and asshole and they merely caught it on tape."

This is what I don't fucking get. First off, where do these losers come from? Okay, yes. We already know...being dropped on the head and under-the-blanket pleasure trips with Uncle Gilmore. But seriously...why are you here then? Why do any of you fucking sheep come here?

Didn't you read the fucking disclaimer at the door? Is reading that hard? Did the drop on your fucking head also affect your vision? Or your word comprehension? Or your sentence structure comprehension? Can you form a thought? Well, obviously not if you think SPANKED is a good song, dumbass.

This is NOT a Van Halen site (or at least not one for all "eras"). This is a fucking DAVID LEE ROTH site. This is for fans of David Lee Roth...not fans of Sammy Hagar. And it's certainly not for people that think David Lee Roth is an "asshole". Funny how our old fat friend FLAB used to say the same thing practically every day at the Links. Well, TONGUE-IN-ASS, since you are going to be SHEEP OF THE WEEK, I ask you to enjoy your glory and fame. But seriously, why the fuck are you here, asshole?

More quotes? Okay.

"I think Sammy was the perfect choice for VH."

Have you seen the forum attendance at the Red Rocker forum? A ghost town has more population than that place. Hell, the only forum on the entire internet more unpopular than the Red Rocker forum is...snicker...Chelle's "forum".:D

"That's $2,870,240 for 4 concerts. Not Bad!"

Okay...read the first page again. Dickbreath. And also, VH concerts are not selling for an average ticket price of $80. See, when you throw in food stamps, cheaper seating, E-bay ticket prices of $4.00 (yes, four fucking dollars!!) and a free night with Mikey's wife for every fifth ticket sold, you could maybe argue that the average ticket sold is $10 plus free parking. Idiot.

"DLR is on the Sopranos?? Hmm, I'll have to check that out."

Where the hell have you been? You didn't know that? Then you're not a Dave fan. Leave.

I think I'll quote one of our most popular sheep (who by the way didn't clean out his personal toilet today which is now clogged with wool ), cockvanhalen69: "Man, another jerk off."

That's right, cock. We are dealing with another attention-loving jack-off. And he's getting his attention. And do you love your attention, TONGUE-IN-ASS?

Well, along with this induction, we have two more sheep to throw into the Pen. It was a hard choice choosing the pick of the flock this week. But TONGUE-IN-ASS had it hands down (between his legs). So, to join you on your week of love, TONGUE-IN-GROOVE, may I present your fellow tools, SCUBAA (we need a nickname for this asshole) and ROBONEZ (let's call him ROBOGIZZ). These two Sammy Hagar fans are also in the wrong forum. Let's remind them. And let's also remind ourselves of a few of their wonderful comments in the past few days:

ROBOGIZZ: "Well, he'll have that medical assistant thing to fall back on, you know. And wasn't there a new loungeact-gig in Vegas coming up too?"

Bill, Lou, Max...I think we have a prime candidate for next week. Don't you think so? And can someone tell me why every fucking Sammy Hagar fan is seriously hooked-on-phonics???

SCUBAA: "Still think DLR is a an ass and self centered just to remind you there oh young one."

No really, is this just another user name for TONGUE-IN-ASS?

ROBOGIZZ (talking about Spammy): "He's an amazing singer, and a pretty good songwriter with a great ear for melody. Perfect for VH!"

Wait a minute. THIS is TONGUE-IN-ASS!! You know the rules, TONGUE-IN-ASS: only one of your personalities can be inducted at once (although we almost made an exception to that rule last week with a certain stegasaurus).

SCUBAA: "Sams music has a deep meaning."

Yes, if anal-intrusion rape film theme music is what you mean by DEEP meaning.

ROBOGIZZ: "...so the fans (apart from the 40-50 Roth-fans out there) got something that was kinda similar but not as good..."

Did you check the membership numbers here? Uh, that alone would be more than 40-50 Roth fans would it not? And here we have the hardcore nuts. You're nuts too, but nuts because you think every CD you buy should come with a free tube of cheeze whiz.

SCUBAA: "Thanks for the great entertainment you are almost as funny as a DLR show, god take a listen to the absolute crap House of Blues show from Chicago ..sad i mean sad."

Ah, you were there? Why would you buy a ticket if you can't stand the man? And...uh...why are you here? You sure are entertaining...in a Buster Keaton falling down the stairs and landing on your face kinda way.

ROBOGIZZ: "I think 'Me Wise Magic' and 'Can't Get This Stuff No More' are both pretty good! But they coulda used a real singer on there, 'cause the vocals are terrible."

Yeah, see I heard this funny squeaking noise over the music for UP FOR BREAKFAST. It sounded like an old, horny man singing about eating lots of food while masturbating...I'm talking the sound of a man pushing 60-years-old. I also heard DJ's laughing and declaring that they wouldn't be playing that one again. That's a sign of popularity, right?

SCUBAA: "My kids can do better retire dlr while you still have well maybe have some self respect!"

Your kids can probably form a better sentence than you too, right? Anyway, I'd spend less time on the computer, posting at forums for artists you hate, and more time watching your kids. I hear TONGUE-IN-ASS's demented Uncle Gilmore is interested in touching their pee-pees. But you knew that already, didn't you? I mean, you just posted: "Bring it on little boy, you aint seen nothing yet carefull what you wish for." Is that your special form of education?

Welcome boys! Welcome, all three of you!!

WELCOME TO THE SHEEP PEN!!!!!!!

[MAX]

Stellar speech Mister President! :D

So, we have three new dipshits that I have to feed?

Welcome to THE PEN you little fuckers.

Tounge - In - Ass, SMEGMA and Robogizz,

Knock this shit off you fags!!!

[Lou]

Wait are Tongue-in-Ass and the other two names the same person?

[Rikk]

Originally posted by Lou
Wait are Tongue-in-Ass and the other two names the same person?

Hard to say. I don't think so, but you never know with these freaky schizophrenic Sammy Hagar fans...

[Splooge]

Fak...drown da fakkers!!
!

Oh dear...


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....



What the Fak was that??

[Rikk]

SPLOOGE, how the hell are ya???

Just gave you a vote GUWA...sorry, SPLOOGE.