What if Hagar was the First Singer?

[dysfunction]

OK just to get it out of the way, we can all agree Sammy is the fuckin man, right. Ok good to see everyone agrees on this. My question to you is would Sammy be promoted to legendary rock star status (although we already know he is) had he been in Van Halen first. I believe you guys would be in love with the "extra" cheese he brought to Van Halen. Of course, Sammy being the lyrical genius he is would have made the band bigger than they already were and Dave would have never been in Van Halen. Thoughts...

[Nickdfresh]

What if you stopped starting stupid threads that belong over at the LINKS, and not here?

[diamondsgirl]

Re: What if Hagar was the First Singer?

Originally posted by dysfunction
OK just to get it out of the way, we can all agree Sammy is the fuckin man, right. Ok good to see everyone agrees on this. My question to you is would Sammy be promoted to legendary rock star status (although we already know he is) had he been in Van Halen first. I believe you guys would be in love with the "extra" cheese he brought to Van Halen. Of course, Sammy being the lyrical genius he is would have made the band bigger than they already were and Dave would have never been in Van Halen. Thoughts...

you are very sill today

[canadiandlrgirl]

i got an idea....what if you were to go take a nap in traffic because you really are statin to become a pain in the ass now pleaz go take that nap silly boy

[mattiew23m]

If hagar was the first singer.. Eddie Van Halen wouldn't of existed.. We wouldn't be talking about van halen. You have to be seriously fucked in the head boy. Yes, i can see it now, bad moter scooter a true vh classic.. Moving on

[Rikk]

Gentlemen and ladies,

DYSFUNCTION is actually TOWN IDIOT...one of the sheep that was inducted in our first batch of sheep. Check out this reprint of the first post ever in the SHEEP PEN...

Originally posted by Rikk
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS...

This has been a long time coming. For 20 years now, the world has been inundated by a pesky little specie of mosquito called the Sammy Hagar Van Halen fan. This annoying insect has helped a certain alcoholic dutchman suck the blood out of a once great band. The DLR Army exists to give fans a place to express the element of this legendary band they pledge their allegiance to: the one and only Diamond David Lee Roth. It is not the reality of Sammy Hagar fronting Van Halen again that has created the need for the project we are now proposing to the Army...it is the abundance of pathetic, whiny, moronic and obviously bored Sham fans that feel the need to enter this forum and do nothing but start fights with anyone who doesn't agree that THREE LOCK BOX is a prime piece of rock 'n' roll.

Now I have nothing against Sammy Hagar fans...we're all human..... Okay, I take that back. I don't understand how someone could admire the work of one Samuel Hagar. It blows my mind. But, hey...there are some fans of both eras at this site that are actually okay people and they just have different (and rather strange) tastes. Maybe we want to change their minds, maybe we don't understand how some of these people could place MAN ON A MISSION on the same list MEAN STREET is on...but hey...some of these folks are still nice people. They're still sheep, but they're not all bad.

But then there is the other kind of Sammy Hagar Van Halen fan...the ugly, grammatically-challenged, under-achieving idiot who gets so bitter at the poor ticket sales, the food voucher stories, the unbelievable amount of fat Hagar has accumulated on his body and the public's general disapproval of this reunion that this sort of fan must come onto a site he/she thinks is "pathetic" and spend hours a day flooding our beloved forums with attacks and proclamations that OU812 is a far superior album to FAIR WARNING. It is not so much that such arguments worry any of us...we know how hilarious said arguments are. But the truth is, if someone is going to continue being a fucking idiot just looking for attention, we should give him/her the embarressment he/she deserves. And that is what the ROTHARMY SHEEP PEN is for.

The SHEEP PEN is a hopefully long-living thread that will contain all the latest and greatest information that you, the RothArmy Forum Member, will need to know when communicating with forum members...you may want to know the "Idiot's History" to pick out our most annoying and offensive Hagar-ites. There will be a collection containing all NICKNAME TRANSLATIONS, as well as a collection of BRILLIANTLY STUPID QUOTES by our favorite Hagar-loving folk. Also, if a Van Hagar fan has done something truly offensive to you, this is a good place to call him out and tell the forum how you feel. Or, if you discover that one of these idiots is a scumbag in real life (such as when Lou discovered that Van Herpes is a bad trader), you should post this here (and in a new thread if you like).

At the same time, it is imperative that the ROTHARMY SHEEP PEN remains a lean information machine. We have encouragement to place this important thread here, and it is imperative that we only post the greatest (dumbest) quotes and give only the worst of our offenders a place in the Hall of Shame. It may be necessary to bump the thread up once in a while... But we shouldn't be adding several people a day to the list. Only the biggest sheep can sit in the pen. And we certainly shouldn't be putting people on this list just because they like Sammy Hagar. This should still be a place that encourages freedom of speech and freedom of opinion. The Pen should only be reserved for our repeat offenders...our "Town Idiots"s, if you will. And the quotes should also be pretty special...a quote like "David Lee Roth sucks" is not something worthy of posting at the Pen. But something along the lines of Bastard-Hater's brilliant statement "I'm a better flamer than you" is definitely worth posting. Also, funny quotes by some of our greatest talents, like MEZRO, are also worthy of posting.

The PEN is a place for all to post, but only when something is really worthy of posting. No long threads about nothing...this is a place for instant reference. We'll see how it works. It will also be a great place to immediately call out our local morons...

As it stands now, I have put together this idea with the giant efforts of two other Rotharmy members (one a Mod): MAX and GUWAPO. The three of us think this is a good idea, and we want the place to remain alive and kicking.

So, to start things off, I will now begin the list of MAIN OFFENDERS with their NICKNAME TRANSLATIONS. We can maybe make an expanded version of this list once more names have been added. Of course, I may have missed a few, so any other names should be added as they are remembered:

Dysfunction - TOWN IDIOT
(this poor guy lived in a trailer which has since fallen off a ravine)

Kid Vegas - KID LAUDERDALE
(a true moron)

EVH Fan - VD FAN
(banned...now posts as evhfan2)

L.S.D. - VAN HERPES
(please take special note of this individual...not only is he a horrible
poster but he's also a bad trader...he has ripped several individuals
off and then blamed the fact that he doesn't have a burner!)

Sniper - DIAPER
(not very interesting...just a retard)

A.J. - GayJay
(this individual is also scum at the Links...he's a complete liar who
has fabricated information at his own web site...a real piece of shit
interested in nothing but getting attention for himself)

rockvanhalen66 - LEARNING TO WRITE
(truly the worst writer I have ever seen...and probably the dumbest
of the bunch)

Now, there are more, and their names will be posted in the next couple of days. There are other huge offenders for which proper names have not been decided upon yet. And, of course, anyone can propose any of these new names...the Army needs you.

All I have to say is: Fellow Army Members, it's time to take out the trash and humiliate our local sheep population. These people are pathetic, and we must call them out. We're a more aggressive, more honest (and also more fair) bunch than those at the Links.

As my friend Guwapo says, "To the pen, fucker!" So, open the gates. Let the games begin!
Rikk

In other words, he's a trouble-making idiot and should get back in the Pen.

[dysfunction]

Originally posted by Rikk

Rick so predictable.

[Rikk]

Originally posted by dysfunction
Rick so predictable.

Long time, no see...TOWN IDIOT.

[dysfunction]

Originally posted by Rikk
Long time, no see...TOWN IDIOT.

How ya been?

[Rikk]

Originally posted by dysfunction
How ya been?

Fuck yourself, sheep.

[dysfunction]

Originally posted by Rikk
Fuck yourself, sheep.

That's the best you can do. Come on, that's even more pathetic than the town idiot thing.

[Rikk]

Originally posted by dysfunction
That's the best you can do. Come on, that's even more pathetic than the town idiot thing.

I don't need to try with you. We proved last summer what an idiot you are. And it was satisfying seeing your band fall apart after you raved on about it being the tour of the year...lost money, two-thirds-empty houses, on "Year's Most Disappointing..." lists. Pretty sad, hmm?

How's the trailer? Did you manage to fix it yet?

[dysfunction]

Originally posted by Rikk
And it was satisfying seeing your band fall apart after you raved on about it being the tour of the year

Learn to read, I addressed that in a previous topic.

[SNIPER]

Re: What if Hagar was the First Singer?

Originally posted by dysfunction
OK just to get it out of the way, we can all agree Sammy is the fuckin man, right. Ok good to see everyone agrees on this. My question to you is would Sammy be promoted to legendary rock star status (although we already know he is) had he been in Van Halen first. I believe you guys would be in love with the "extra" cheese he brought to Van Halen. Of course, Sammy being the lyrical genius he is would have made the band bigger than they already were and Dave would have never been in Van Halen. Thoughts...

How bout you giving us all some of those drugs you are on. Sounds like some top notch shit.

[Rikk]

Originally posted by dysfunction
Learn to read, I addressed that in a previous topic.

I don't give a fuck what you addressed, TOWN IDIOT. You still fell flat on your face. You were pretty cocky last summer...now your fatboy is playing state fairs and pool halls after the entire country told him they don't give a shit about seeing his fat ass singing with the Van Halen brothers. Every day on the radio I hear classic VAN HALEN (that's Dave-era VAN HALEN, TOWN IDIOT). I can't remember the last time I heard VAN SAMBO.

Adios.