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Valerie Bertinelli
by Debby Bull
Beneath a shaggy hairdo with bangs streaked blonde, Valerie Bertinelli arrives at the Jockey Club at New York’s Ritz-Carlton wearing a black jumpsuit emblazoned with bright patches identifying it as a souvenir of a Van Halen tour. For six years, she’s been married to guitarist Eddie Van Halen, the heavy-metal bad boy who plucked her straight from her all-American-girl teens. Born in Wilmington, Delaware, she moved wherever her dad’s career with General Motors took the family, finally settling in southern California, where she studied drama at the bubbly-sounding Tami Lynn Academy of Artists. She played the bouncy younger daughter in the happy household of One Day at a Time for nine seasons, and, this February, she stars in the eight-hour miniseries I’ll Take Manhattan, based on the steamy Judith Krantz book and shot mostly in Toronto. "We’re calling it ‘I’ll Fake Manhattan’", says Valerie.
The maitre d’ at the Jockey Club has clearly missed the TV star’s long run on One Day at a Time and her string of telepictures — including Rockabye, Silent Witness, The Seduction of Gina and Shattered Vows — all of which scored top Nielsen numbers. Though he seems pained to lead her red Converse high-tops to any table, he finally ushers her far from the power breakfasters. She’s refused any crackers for her fluish stomach, and her tea arrives pale and weak. "Looks sort of like a strong chamomile," observes Vallerie, exploding with laughter, even as the waiter tosses more insolence at the 26-year-old actress. Finally, she slings her soft five-foot-five figure off the chair, dismissing the notion of breakfast. "Everybody complains that people are so flaky in L.A.," she says, striding out. "I’d rather be flaky than mean."
DEBBY BULL: You’re registered in the hotel under your married name....
VALERIE BERTINELLI: Valerie Van Halen is such a pretty name. All my credit cards, my driver’s license, everything has Van Halen on it. I like being a married woman and I like the man I’m married to, so why not be proud to have his name?
DB: Was David Lee Roth jealous that Ed had found himself a famous girlfriend?
VB: I think he was jealous that Ed had fallen in love and was happy. I feel Dave tended to keep Ed in a miserable place and liked him there because he could control him that way. But when Ed became happy and more independent, Dave couldn’t control him anymore. Dave likes control.
DB: Do you dislike him more than Ed does?
VB: Yes. Ed has a bigger heart than I do. I won’t forgive Dave for what he did to the man I love. Ed will. I like revenge, Ed doesn’t. It might’ve sounded that way when they first broke up, because Ed was really hurt. That man just took everything away from him.
DB: What about Dave’s charges that Ed does a lot of drugs and drinks too much?
VB: The man should start looking in the mirror. I do think Ed smokes too many cigarettes, and he does drink too much sometimes.
DB: What have you learned from living with Eddie?
VB: Communication. That no matter what you feel, it’s okay to talk about it. I’m the kind of person who clams up and holds it all inside; he’s the type who gets it out and says what he feels. He’s brutally honest. When I got too heavy, he would say, "Honey, lose weight." Then when I got too thin, he said "I don’t like making love with you, you’ve got to gain some weight." So that gave me free power to eat up the whole city of Los Angeles.
What he likes is me happy. When I’m happy with myself, he’s happiest. But he likes me [laughing] … firm.
DB: Is your relationship very smooth?
VB: Sometimes it comes awfully close to being a brotherly-sisterly relationship. We get along really, really well, and we communicate. Our relationship is so simple, yet it’s got to be worked at all the time.
DB: Does Eddie give you confidence?
VB: He tries awfully hard, but it’s not working. I’m just not a confident person.
DB: Do you think you’re beautiful?
VB: God, no. Absolutely not. My eyes aren’t special, my nose isn’t special, my mouth isn’t special. The only things I really love about myself physically are my ankles and my hair. I think I’m a much better person inside than I used to be. I’m growing into a really good person. But beautiful? No. That’s why I’m doing this role in I’ll Take Manhattan. I was getting the feeling that people didn’t think I was pretty any longer. I’d just done two films, Rockabye and Silent Witness, wearing no makeup and dirty hair. I was 20 pounds heavier than I am now. I’d go for interviews and they’d say, "No, she’s not pretty enough." It was like, "Okay, I’ll prove it to you."
DB: Do you feel beautiful made-up?
VB: No, I just see the imperfections. I hear women who are really beautiful say that and they have no right to say it — but I mean it. I’m not Kim Basinger. I’m not Jaclyn Smith. Those women are knock-down gorgeous. That’s what I’d love to be, but I’m not. I want to be special.
DB: What makes you happy in your work?
VB: When I can honestly say I’m proud of what I did, like when I was scared to do a scene and I got through it and I was good.
DG: Is it important to make this transition to being a film actress?
VB: Yes and no. Yes, because people look up to that. I don’t know whay I want to be a part of that club, but I guess it’s because they don’t want me. I guess you want what you can’t have.
DB: Is it a major goal?
VB: Professionally, I have no major goals. That’s partly because I’m really flaky. I want things, but I don’t’ go after them. I’d rather they be placed in my lap. That’s how my whole career started. One Day at a Time was just given to me.
DB: Have you gone after major film roles?
VB: Oh, yeah, and lost them. I’ve gone to interviews and read for a role, and it’s gone to the wire, and then the actress that they pick .... It’s like, "What? I know I’m better than her!" But she’s a film actress and I’m a TV actress.
DB: Like who?
VB: I’m not going to tell these actresses they stink. In TV, people do take me seriously. They know they’re going to get good numbers. I just have to say, "Give me this," and they’ll practically do it.
DB: Is there anything you wouldn’t do in a film?
VB: Out-and-out nudity. I’m too uncomfortable doing it and I don’t think you need it. In the rape scene in I’ll Take Manhattan, I’m fully dressed, but the clothes kind of fall off. It’s much sexier. I mean, Ed … he likes .... It’s a lot more fun in bed if you have something on. It’s sexier to have to get around the clothes.
DB: Who taught you about sex?
VB: I don’t remember ever having a talk with my mother. But when I was 16 or 17, I came to New York and I had a boyfriend who was pressuring me and I didn’t know if I wanted to do it or not. Bonnie Franklin [Bertinelli’s TV mother on One Day at a Time] and I had the average motherly talk. And I listened to her. I don’t believe I did it with that guy, actually.
DB: Can you tell me about the first time you had sex?
VB: It’s so disgusting. It was in the back of a pick-up truck at a drive-in movie. He was called the "Cherry Picker" at school, but I didn’t know that till after.
DB: Were you in love with him?
VB: No. I didn’t know how to wear a tampon, and I thought that if I wasn’t a virgin, maybe they’d fit better.
DB: If you went to a psychic, what would you most want to hear about your future?
VB: That I’ll be with Ed for the rest of my life. And that I’ll have healthy children.
DB: Why haven’t you had kids yet?
VB: Well … because I had a miscarriage in March. It wasn’t the easiest thing to deal with. But nobody knew I was pregnant, so nobody knew I had a miscarriage.
DB: Do you want a big family?
VB: I’d like to have four kids. Ed says he wants a full band.
DB: How many times have you been in love
VB: Once.
DB: Who was the first to say "I love you"?
VB: Ed was.
DB: Were you in love with him then?
VB: After he said it, I knew I was. I knew I was feeling something very different for this man; something I’d never felt for anybody else.
We were in Phoenix and we’d known each other a month. Ed had just won best rock guitarist in Guitar Player magazine for the fourth time in a row, and he was so happy. He went to a sound check and Dave berated him. He said, "You think you’re fucking hot shit just because you won ...." And Ed came back to the hotel and started telling me this. I remember we had adjoining rooms and he was sitting in the corner of my room and started to cry. And I said, "What’s wrong?" I didn’t know how to handle it; I’d only known the guy for a month. He said, "Why do I have to be so lucky? Why do these things always happen to me? Why can’t Dave have some luck? Why can’t Dave get some attention? Then maybe he’ll lay off me a while." Then he just looked at me and siad, "I love you." And he was crying. I was like, "Oh, god, I love you too." For a man to say I love you, crying, it’s like, god … it was really sweet.
DB: Was it love at first sight?
VB: Yes, but we didn’t go to bed together till a month after we met. It was that night in Phoenix. He wouldn’t let me go to bed with him. I had wanted to, but he’d say, "No. I want to know who you are first." When he told me he loved me, his defenses were down and I took advantage of him. What was so funny was that the TV was on and it was a Sunday night. We’d just finished making love and the theme song from One Day at a Time came on.
DB: Have you ever left him in your six years together?
VB: No. I’ve asked him to leave, but he says, "Absolutely not. You’re stuck with me. So there."
DB: Did you go out with Steven Spielberg very long?
VB: Two months. I met him because I was up for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Amy Irving had just broken up with him, and Scott [Colomby] had broken up with me. We didn’t really click. I was uncomfortable around him, really uncomfortable.
DB: Funny you kept going out with him.
VB: Because I wanted to see if there was something there. In fact, he still has two shirts of mine....
DB: Maybe Amy wears them.
VB: One was a great rerd bowling shirt and I really miss it.
DB: Did he fall for you?
VB: No.
DB: What makes a man sexy to you?
VB: Honesty is very sexy. Ed is very sexy because his emotions are really there — not forced. And without bringing that guy’s name up again .... you-know-who is unsexy because he tries too hard, with the sucked-in cheeks and all.
DB: Does fame limit you personal life?
VB: I still go to the grocery store. I love the grocery store! Especially when Ed and I go together. I feel like this little married woman, like I’m playing house or something.
by Debby Bull
Beneath a shaggy hairdo with bangs streaked blonde, Valerie Bertinelli arrives at the Jockey Club at New York’s Ritz-Carlton wearing a black jumpsuit emblazoned with bright patches identifying it as a souvenir of a Van Halen tour. For six years, she’s been married to guitarist Eddie Van Halen, the heavy-metal bad boy who plucked her straight from her all-American-girl teens. Born in Wilmington, Delaware, she moved wherever her dad’s career with General Motors took the family, finally settling in southern California, where she studied drama at the bubbly-sounding Tami Lynn Academy of Artists. She played the bouncy younger daughter in the happy household of One Day at a Time for nine seasons, and, this February, she stars in the eight-hour miniseries I’ll Take Manhattan, based on the steamy Judith Krantz book and shot mostly in Toronto. "We’re calling it ‘I’ll Fake Manhattan’", says Valerie.
The maitre d’ at the Jockey Club has clearly missed the TV star’s long run on One Day at a Time and her string of telepictures — including Rockabye, Silent Witness, The Seduction of Gina and Shattered Vows — all of which scored top Nielsen numbers. Though he seems pained to lead her red Converse high-tops to any table, he finally ushers her far from the power breakfasters. She’s refused any crackers for her fluish stomach, and her tea arrives pale and weak. "Looks sort of like a strong chamomile," observes Vallerie, exploding with laughter, even as the waiter tosses more insolence at the 26-year-old actress. Finally, she slings her soft five-foot-five figure off the chair, dismissing the notion of breakfast. "Everybody complains that people are so flaky in L.A.," she says, striding out. "I’d rather be flaky than mean."
DEBBY BULL: You’re registered in the hotel under your married name....
VALERIE BERTINELLI: Valerie Van Halen is such a pretty name. All my credit cards, my driver’s license, everything has Van Halen on it. I like being a married woman and I like the man I’m married to, so why not be proud to have his name?
DB: Was David Lee Roth jealous that Ed had found himself a famous girlfriend?
VB: I think he was jealous that Ed had fallen in love and was happy. I feel Dave tended to keep Ed in a miserable place and liked him there because he could control him that way. But when Ed became happy and more independent, Dave couldn’t control him anymore. Dave likes control.
DB: Do you dislike him more than Ed does?
VB: Yes. Ed has a bigger heart than I do. I won’t forgive Dave for what he did to the man I love. Ed will. I like revenge, Ed doesn’t. It might’ve sounded that way when they first broke up, because Ed was really hurt. That man just took everything away from him.
DB: What about Dave’s charges that Ed does a lot of drugs and drinks too much?
VB: The man should start looking in the mirror. I do think Ed smokes too many cigarettes, and he does drink too much sometimes.
DB: What have you learned from living with Eddie?
VB: Communication. That no matter what you feel, it’s okay to talk about it. I’m the kind of person who clams up and holds it all inside; he’s the type who gets it out and says what he feels. He’s brutally honest. When I got too heavy, he would say, "Honey, lose weight." Then when I got too thin, he said "I don’t like making love with you, you’ve got to gain some weight." So that gave me free power to eat up the whole city of Los Angeles.
What he likes is me happy. When I’m happy with myself, he’s happiest. But he likes me [laughing] … firm.
DB: Is your relationship very smooth?
VB: Sometimes it comes awfully close to being a brotherly-sisterly relationship. We get along really, really well, and we communicate. Our relationship is so simple, yet it’s got to be worked at all the time.
DB: Does Eddie give you confidence?
VB: He tries awfully hard, but it’s not working. I’m just not a confident person.
DB: Do you think you’re beautiful?
VB: God, no. Absolutely not. My eyes aren’t special, my nose isn’t special, my mouth isn’t special. The only things I really love about myself physically are my ankles and my hair. I think I’m a much better person inside than I used to be. I’m growing into a really good person. But beautiful? No. That’s why I’m doing this role in I’ll Take Manhattan. I was getting the feeling that people didn’t think I was pretty any longer. I’d just done two films, Rockabye and Silent Witness, wearing no makeup and dirty hair. I was 20 pounds heavier than I am now. I’d go for interviews and they’d say, "No, she’s not pretty enough." It was like, "Okay, I’ll prove it to you."
DB: Do you feel beautiful made-up?
VB: No, I just see the imperfections. I hear women who are really beautiful say that and they have no right to say it — but I mean it. I’m not Kim Basinger. I’m not Jaclyn Smith. Those women are knock-down gorgeous. That’s what I’d love to be, but I’m not. I want to be special.
DB: What makes you happy in your work?
VB: When I can honestly say I’m proud of what I did, like when I was scared to do a scene and I got through it and I was good.
DG: Is it important to make this transition to being a film actress?
VB: Yes and no. Yes, because people look up to that. I don’t know whay I want to be a part of that club, but I guess it’s because they don’t want me. I guess you want what you can’t have.
DB: Is it a major goal?
VB: Professionally, I have no major goals. That’s partly because I’m really flaky. I want things, but I don’t’ go after them. I’d rather they be placed in my lap. That’s how my whole career started. One Day at a Time was just given to me.
DB: Have you gone after major film roles?
VB: Oh, yeah, and lost them. I’ve gone to interviews and read for a role, and it’s gone to the wire, and then the actress that they pick .... It’s like, "What? I know I’m better than her!" But she’s a film actress and I’m a TV actress.
DB: Like who?
VB: I’m not going to tell these actresses they stink. In TV, people do take me seriously. They know they’re going to get good numbers. I just have to say, "Give me this," and they’ll practically do it.
DB: Is there anything you wouldn’t do in a film?
VB: Out-and-out nudity. I’m too uncomfortable doing it and I don’t think you need it. In the rape scene in I’ll Take Manhattan, I’m fully dressed, but the clothes kind of fall off. It’s much sexier. I mean, Ed … he likes .... It’s a lot more fun in bed if you have something on. It’s sexier to have to get around the clothes.
DB: Who taught you about sex?
VB: I don’t remember ever having a talk with my mother. But when I was 16 or 17, I came to New York and I had a boyfriend who was pressuring me and I didn’t know if I wanted to do it or not. Bonnie Franklin [Bertinelli’s TV mother on One Day at a Time] and I had the average motherly talk. And I listened to her. I don’t believe I did it with that guy, actually.
DB: Can you tell me about the first time you had sex?
VB: It’s so disgusting. It was in the back of a pick-up truck at a drive-in movie. He was called the "Cherry Picker" at school, but I didn’t know that till after.
DB: Were you in love with him?
VB: No. I didn’t know how to wear a tampon, and I thought that if I wasn’t a virgin, maybe they’d fit better.
DB: If you went to a psychic, what would you most want to hear about your future?
VB: That I’ll be with Ed for the rest of my life. And that I’ll have healthy children.
DB: Why haven’t you had kids yet?
VB: Well … because I had a miscarriage in March. It wasn’t the easiest thing to deal with. But nobody knew I was pregnant, so nobody knew I had a miscarriage.
DB: Do you want a big family?
VB: I’d like to have four kids. Ed says he wants a full band.
DB: How many times have you been in love
VB: Once.
DB: Who was the first to say "I love you"?
VB: Ed was.
DB: Were you in love with him then?
VB: After he said it, I knew I was. I knew I was feeling something very different for this man; something I’d never felt for anybody else.
We were in Phoenix and we’d known each other a month. Ed had just won best rock guitarist in Guitar Player magazine for the fourth time in a row, and he was so happy. He went to a sound check and Dave berated him. He said, "You think you’re fucking hot shit just because you won ...." And Ed came back to the hotel and started telling me this. I remember we had adjoining rooms and he was sitting in the corner of my room and started to cry. And I said, "What’s wrong?" I didn’t know how to handle it; I’d only known the guy for a month. He said, "Why do I have to be so lucky? Why do these things always happen to me? Why can’t Dave have some luck? Why can’t Dave get some attention? Then maybe he’ll lay off me a while." Then he just looked at me and siad, "I love you." And he was crying. I was like, "Oh, god, I love you too." For a man to say I love you, crying, it’s like, god … it was really sweet.
DB: Was it love at first sight?
VB: Yes, but we didn’t go to bed together till a month after we met. It was that night in Phoenix. He wouldn’t let me go to bed with him. I had wanted to, but he’d say, "No. I want to know who you are first." When he told me he loved me, his defenses were down and I took advantage of him. What was so funny was that the TV was on and it was a Sunday night. We’d just finished making love and the theme song from One Day at a Time came on.
DB: Have you ever left him in your six years together?
VB: No. I’ve asked him to leave, but he says, "Absolutely not. You’re stuck with me. So there."
DB: Did you go out with Steven Spielberg very long?
VB: Two months. I met him because I was up for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Amy Irving had just broken up with him, and Scott [Colomby] had broken up with me. We didn’t really click. I was uncomfortable around him, really uncomfortable.
DB: Funny you kept going out with him.
VB: Because I wanted to see if there was something there. In fact, he still has two shirts of mine....
DB: Maybe Amy wears them.
VB: One was a great rerd bowling shirt and I really miss it.
DB: Did he fall for you?
VB: No.
DB: What makes a man sexy to you?
VB: Honesty is very sexy. Ed is very sexy because his emotions are really there — not forced. And without bringing that guy’s name up again .... you-know-who is unsexy because he tries too hard, with the sucked-in cheeks and all.
DB: Does fame limit you personal life?
VB: I still go to the grocery store. I love the grocery store! Especially when Ed and I go together. I feel like this little married woman, like I’m playing house or something.
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