THE BOOK OF DAVE - Chapter 1

[DaveIsKing]

THE BOOK OF VAN HALEN

In the beginning was Van Halen. Van Halen was with Dave. And Van Halen was Dave. And Van Halen was in the beginning with Dave.

And rock was made by Dave and without Dave was not rock made that was made. And in Dave was the life of Van Halen. And the Dave rocketh in the Van Halen, and the Van Halens comprehended it not.

So, there was a man sent by Chester Cheetah, and his name was Spammy Fagar.

Spammy came as an imitator, to fuck up the life of Van Halen, that all fans through him might forget.

He was not that Dave, but was sent to try to destroy the legacy of that Dave.

He was not the true Dave, which lighteth up every cigarette and women that cometh to the Van Halen.

He was in the Van Halen, and the Van Halen was not made by him, and the (true) fans knew him not and received him not.

[DaveIsKing]

Amen, Brother DaveIsKing.

[lms2]

DaveisKing is quite chipper this evening no?


And Dave said "All those that believeth in me and do not soil my image with cheese idols shall not perish and become washed up punked out rock and roll wannabe crybaby has beens but shall know the glory and the power of ever lasting Roth and Roll." And the congregation said Dolemite Motha Fucka.

[DaveIsKing]

Shu Ba Da Du Ma Ma Ma Ma...

Dolemite Motha Fucka!

[DaveIsKing]

Are you standing on the solid rock of Dave?

[Warham]

My Bible is Crazy From The Heat.

[DaveIsKing]

That's what we need... THE CHURCH OF ROTH.

A little music please.... *Unchained plays*

[Jesus Christ]

Ye all are lucky that Dad & I hath such a good sense of humor. And verily, there is no Van Halen without David, the Chosen One

[DaveIsKing]

Praise Be To Jesus!!

[Warham]

Lordy, Lordy!!

[JCOOK]

AND THERE WERE REUNIONS AND RUMORS OF REUNIONS. AND DAVE SAW THIS AND HIS ROTH WAS MUCH IRED. AND DAVE SMOTE THE HOMOSEXUAL SPAMMY AND CAST HIM INTO THE LAKE OF FIRE AND IT WAS EXCELLENT

[DaveIsKing]

Originally posted by JCOOK
AND THERE WERE REUNIONS AND RUMORS OF REUNIONS. AND DAVE SAW THIS AND HIS ROTH WAS MUCH IRED. AND DAVE SMOTE THE HOMOSEXUAL SPAMMY AND CAST HIM INTO THE LAKE OF FIRE AND IT WAS EXCELLENT

Where the fire is not quenched, and the Spam dieth not, but cooketh forever and ever and ever.

[Warham]

LMAO...The Bible as read by David Lee Roth.

[Bill Lumbergh]

Who knew the devil was a fat chick?!

[DaveIsKing]

NEW VERSES EVERY DAY.

1) And Dave said, "I am Diamond Dave. And I spam not, but I rocketh for the masses." And the evil Spammy came and said, "Dear Lord Dave, I challenge you to a rock competition." So the Lord Dave sent a pile of rocks and they fell upon Spammy and crushed him into the dust.

2) And it was good.