Holy shit !! Huge van halen news !!

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  • sadaist
    TOASTMASTER GENERAL
    • Jul 2004
    • 11625

    #31
    Originally posted by Antman
    Does anyone really buy any of his shit other than the guitar gear? .

    Doubtful. Other than a handful of hard core Eddie fans. This is stuff that should be sold at the Cabo Wabo gift shop. Not Eddies main occupation in lieu of being a musician. Talk about riding the gravy train of past glories. He accused Mike of as much. But Ed is the most guilty. The stripes were awesome in the 80's because they stood for something. Now they are just a sad reminder of all that has been squandered away and what the world has been cheated out of.

    The six-pac is a beautiful gift to music. The lack of anything since is a crime. At least The Doors, The Beatles, Nirvana, etc... all had a good excuse. Being an asshole control freak is not an excuse...no matter how much Eddie tries to convince himself otherwise.
    “Great losses often bring only a numb shock. To truly plunge a victim into misery, you must overwhelm him with many small sufferings.”

    Comment

    • SheAintWaiting
      Roadie
      • Apr 2004
      • 111

      #32
      Originally posted by PETE'S BROTHER
      do they have the bottle opener on the bottom of them
      Thanks man, I needed that!
      "I won't tour on a greatest hits record, that's like basically saying, we're over. Wasted. Biggest waste of time in the world. Strictly money." -Sammy Hagar, 1996.

      Comment

      • fryingdutchman
        Full Member Status

        • Feb 2005
        • 4133

        #33
        For the first time in a long time....

        Words fucking fail me....
        Originally posted by perilouspete
        fryingdutchman you pretty much own everyone.....sick comebacks, well put. top class wit.

        Comment

        • Hardrock69
          DIAMOND STATUS
          • Feb 2005
          • 21898

          #34
          Yeah, I just happened to think, what is next? Chaim Witz has already done Kiss My Ass toilet paper and Kiss Kaskets. Custom painted empty Smoking Loon bottles? VH-striped prosthetic tongues?

          Comment

          • Nitro Express
            DIAMOND STATUS
            • Aug 2004
            • 32942

            #35
            I hear Eddie has an endorsement deal with The Home Depot. They are coming out with a signature line of screws. That's because Eddie is an expert in screwing people; especially his fan base.
            No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

            Comment

            • PETE'S BROTHER
              DIAMOND STATUS
              • Feb 2007
              • 12678

              #36
              lord, c'mon nitro, you can do better than that
              Another one of those classic genius posts, sure to generate responses. You log on the next day to see what your witty gem has produced to find no one gets it and 2 knotheads want to stick their dicks in it... Well played, sir!!

              Comment

              • ThatArtGuy
                Foot Soldier
                • Jan 2004
                • 673

                #37
                With his ties to the Adult Entertainment Industry (AEI), Eddie will introduce new dildos, because his fans have been taking it up the ass for years already.

                See? Much better.
                I brought my pencil!!!

                Comment

                • PETE'S BROTHER
                  DIAMOND STATUS
                  • Feb 2007
                  • 12678

                  #38
                  striped dildos....
                  Another one of those classic genius posts, sure to generate responses. You log on the next day to see what your witty gem has produced to find no one gets it and 2 knotheads want to stick their dicks in it... Well played, sir!!

                  Comment

                  • Jagermeister
                    Full Member Status

                    • Apr 2010
                    • 4510

                    #39
                    Or

                    Eddy has agreed to introduce a new line of anal lubricants manufactured under the KY brand. This is great news for Van Halen fans who have been getting dry fucked for all these years.

                    Comment

                    • PETE'S BROTHER
                      DIAMOND STATUS
                      • Feb 2007
                      • 12678

                      #40
                      Originally posted by ThatArtGuy
                      With his ties to the Adult Entertainment Industry (AEI), Eddie will introduce new dildos, because his fans have been taking it up the ass for years already.

                      See? Much better.
                      do they have the bottle opener on the bottom of them
                      Another one of those classic genius posts, sure to generate responses. You log on the next day to see what your witty gem has produced to find no one gets it and 2 knotheads want to stick their dicks in it... Well played, sir!!

                      Comment

                      • chefcraig
                        DIAMOND STATUS
                        • Apr 2004
                        • 12172

                        #41
                        "You see, I'm an absorbency chaser, I chase absorbency. And the guys at Depends get it. This is underwear you can believe in. Trust me, this is the stuff that I use. In fact, I'm relieving myself right now." - Edward Van Halen, Depends Protective Underwear Spokesman.











                        “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
                        ― Stephen Hawking

                        Comment

                        • PETE'S BROTHER
                          DIAMOND STATUS
                          • Feb 2007
                          • 12678

                          #42
                          so that's the can the tunes are in?
                          Another one of those classic genius posts, sure to generate responses. You log on the next day to see what your witty gem has produced to find no one gets it and 2 knotheads want to stick their dicks in it... Well played, sir!!

                          Comment

                          • Blaze
                            Full Member Status

                            • Jan 2009
                            • 4371

                            #43
                            What am I buying a striped dildo?
                            Attached Files
                            Last edited by Blaze; 12-09-2010, 01:06 AM.
                            "I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. - Some come from ahead and some come from behind. - But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. - Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!" ~ Dr. Seuss
                            sigpic

                            Comment

                            • PETE'S BROTHER
                              DIAMOND STATUS
                              • Feb 2007
                              • 12678

                              #44
                              looks like a striped channnuahkah candle. do eight in a row...
                              Another one of those classic genius posts, sure to generate responses. You log on the next day to see what your witty gem has produced to find no one gets it and 2 knotheads want to stick their dicks in it... Well played, sir!!

                              Comment

                              • Blaze
                                Full Member Status

                                • Jan 2009
                                • 4371

                                #45
                                Tis nine~ Brother.
                                Attached Files
                                "I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. - Some come from ahead and some come from behind. - But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. - Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!" ~ Dr. Seuss
                                sigpic

                                Comment

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