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Van Halen 'Live...Right Here, Right Now' happened to block Dave.
"If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992
VH & WB allegedly hoodwinked our hero Diamond Dave back in yesteryear...
Dave was on a Quality Assurance campaign to counter the catalog erosion caused by the Van Hagar debacle. So our hero put the screws to WB calling for a greatest hits release. Logic would dictate... queue up Mr Spock... that only material from The Six Pack™ would qualify as "Greatest" compared to the drivel Van Hagar was cranking out...
But not to be knocked off of the Mighty Howdy Doody Mountain™ throne... the sneaky bastards formulated a plan to perform the most elaborate and complex Turd Polishing operation in the history of Rock & Roll. So the crap was recorded live... then sent to 5150 where marathon turd polishing sessions commenced into the wee hours of many a painful summers nights.
Thus the birth of the 2nd worst Van Halen release was hatched... the top prize wasn't produced until a few years later with III...
So we now have a new magical fairy tale added to the legacy 20 years later... with a few fairies and grownups with far too much productive time on their hands discussing sheep, radio air play and the merits of Turd Polishing...
Got it?
"If you want to be a monk... you gotta cook a lot of rice...”
VH & WB allegedly hoodwinked our hero Diamond Dave back in yesteryear...
Dave was on a Quality Assurance campaign to counter the catalog erosion caused by the Van Hagar debacle. So our hero put the screws to WB calling for a greatest hits release. Logic would dictate... queue up Mr Spock... that only material from The Six Pack™ would qualify as "Greatest" compared to the drivel Van Hagar was cranking out...
But not to be knocked off of the Mighty Howdy Doody Mountain™ throne... the sneaky bastards formulated a plan to perform the most elaborate and complex Turd Polishing operation in the history of Rock & Roll. So the crap was recorded live... then sent to 5150 where marathon turd polishing sessions commenced into the wee hours of many a painful summers nights.
Thus the birth of the 2nd worst Van Halen release was hatched... the top prize wasn't produced until a few years later with III...
So we now have a new magical fairy tale added to the legacy 20 years later... with a few fairies and grownups with far too much productive time on their hands discussing sheep, radio air play and the merits of Turd Polishing...
Got it?
It pains me that we're talking about my favorite band right now
(Right now someone is making horrible puns).
We don't even have the dignity of having real rock drama like a band member getting crushed by a bus, or ODing or choking on their own vomit. No - the mighty Van Halen was reduced to a pop ballad cheese Fest daytime drama soap opera with revolving members equaled only by Kiss and Spinal Tap.
Before Dave came back we talked and fought among ourselves over stupid shit... day & night... The band rarely did anything anyways...
Since Dave returned we still talk and fight over stupid shit... day and night... We tried peace and getting along and it about killed the board. But still the band does hardly anything...
Same shit... different day... lazy band.
"If you want to be a monk... you gotta cook a lot of rice...”
VH & WB allegedly hoodwinked our hero Diamond Dave back in yesteryear...
Dave was on a Quality Assurance campaign to counter the catalog erosion caused by the Van Hagar debacle. So our hero put the screws to WB calling for a greatest hits release. Logic would dictate... queue up Mr Spock... that only material from The Six Pack™ would qualify as "Greatest" compared to the drivel Van Hagar was cranking out...
But not to be knocked off of the Mighty Howdy Doody Mountain™ throne... the sneaky bastards formulated a plan to perform the most elaborate and complex Turd Polishing operation in the history of Rock & Roll. So the crap was recorded live... then sent to 5150 where marathon turd polishing sessions commenced into the wee hours of many a painful summers nights.
Thus the birth of the 2nd worst Van Halen release was hatched... the top prize wasn't produced until a few years later with III...
So we now have a new magical fairy tale added to the legacy 20 years later... with a few fairies and grownups with far too much productive time on their hands discussing sheep, radio air play and the merits of Turd Polishing...
Got it?
It wasn't a QA campaign as much as it was an attempt to derail his old band. The band he walked away from. The band that was outperforming him. It was a straw to grasp at, a way to keep his name associated with his old band's name. He fucked up and he knew it, he could only blame himself. Leaving Van Halen ruined him, rejoining too late to ressurrect who he once was. Doesn't that piss you off?
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