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So Rikk reached out to me today...love that Dude...a brother from another mother...
So here we go...
What changed for Dave?
Prior to ten days or so ago, Dave seemed as calm and cool and collected on The Van Halen front as he ever has. He's talked about his relationship with Al post Ed's passing in as positive a light as he ever has. He's reminisced about VH the way the boys were doing prior to the 2012 release. There clearly was discussions with Dave about doing a tribute that included Al that disappeared, but...nothing seemed to be negative in an odd sense...especially for Van Halen.
Then fat fuckin' Bette Midler gets his money grubbing hot dog fingers dipping into the VH pool again with the "who gives a fuck" release of Van Hagar's bullshit (fine...whatever), and this S(h)am of a tour where he got alien rear-ended when Dave called him out for asking him to join the crew. It was hilarious and grand. Then Mikey meets up with Wolfy.
And of course...Wolfy...with his fucking bullshit gatekeeping.
So something changed for Dave.
Nine Days ago...Dave shredded that fat fuck Bette Midler in a Roth Show.
...and Dave's story...about Ed and Val's wedding night..."Eddie and I both hated her family. We both hated her brothers, her sisters, her parents..."
"Eddie and I knew the routine...now that I laugh, what a brotherly thing" talking about holding Ed while he was yakking after doing a bump so he wouldn't get shit on his tux...and Dave let go..."and we both started giggling...I don't want to fucking go out there."
Then the story about the VHS tape that Val saw...and she left him after six weeks...so this was...2001? The long and the short of THAT STORY? "Edward, my brother from another mother, I don't care who you fuck or how hard, and he laughed. Valerie, she wasn't laughing. In a declaration of some evangelical type 1930s fucking hate...she and her lawyers beat the shit out of that kid. She fucked him outta everything. And I'm going to tell you she left him flat...and penniless. The great Van Halen had to go borrow a million dollars and do the unimaginable...YES!...he had to call me...."
Eight Days ago...Dave discussed how Howdy Doody Ranch sucked the life outta Edward so much, that he had to escape on a golf cart to hit up the Sportsman's Lodge...for...well...you know...let your mind unwind "Eddie is wandering the halls like the Ghost of Hamlet's Dad." There seemed to be a lot of little stories not told, within the story...but it seemed to glean a not so kind story about the VH camp "they've taken away his car keys, he's livin' in his pajamas"...you can insert whatever names you want there...certainly slammed the shit out of Val...and skimmed across Al...and Wolfy...and led Ed to Jan.
"And guess who shows up...allegedly...but I just missed him by a day or two...my old friend Ed. We run in to each other now and then (!!!! Tell those fucking stories Dave), and I'm up there at the studio, my timelines are all backwards and forwards. I spend some time at The Sportsmen's Lodge. I didn't actually run into Ed, but it's a small community there. Having first discovered The Sportsmen's Lodge in his pajamas, the good way, Ed, in classic rock star fashion...remember the motto, "what is the perfect rock star solution for all emotional, drama, trauma, and pain?" Go on the road."
"...and you don't have to go far. In fact, the farthest Ed did go was down Coldwater about a mile and a quarter, to the Sportsman's Lodge, and he decides he's going to live there, and he does."
"He falls in with the porno crowd...granted Ed is in a state of emotional disarray, and he meets his future wife, in the swimming pool."
"I got myself in troube up at the studio...and my timelines are bouncing around...when I quoted Anthony Bourdain...the gourmet food critic's book...this should be the name of your porno craft services company..."A Bone in your Throat." I'll draw you the logo. Things went great and wrong with Jane and I instantly."
The long and the short of it...Janie straightens him out...new teeth...and he's going to write some music for it..."he needs a whole fuckin' porn shoot."
And of course...the "This Crazy Kid" post...he of course slams him hard. But what stood out to me was when Dave said, "...but as usual...he...just like his uncle and his uncle's brother...stiffed them for tickets." Now I suppose he could be talking about Val's brothers, who were sorta in the mix here and there...but don't think that's who he was talking about.
So Dave wasn't fearing throwing that slam out there involving Alex...and Ed.
So Dave wasn't fearling dropping an H-Bomb on the fake Mammoth.
So Dave brushed the dust off of mentioning Bette Midler by hilariously mentioning Bette's alien probing.
I wonder if something happened specific. Another falling out with Alex. Wolfgang doing something behind the scenes. Perhaps the S(h)am and the Sparrows are going to include in their reunion everyone BUT Dave, then find a way to blame Dave...which will now probably be these Roth Shows.
Meh...
Fuck it...
But that Roth timeline is fun. It seems as though he has jumbled a bunch of shit up...but the timeline around Ed's time there is fun, and when connected with Val leaving Ed...gets really fun. They separated in 2001...was that when Dave is referring to her leaving? He talks of the divorce? Was this in 2006-2007, when Dave and Ed had reconciled? Was he blending both things together? Was he making shit up.
Who the fuck knows...but Dave needs to keep fucking doing.
This fucking kid...
...isn't a toenail on the rock star that Dave was in 1974, let alone the fifty years since then. Go ahead and keep making an album in which everyone outside of the Van Halen camp pats you on the back for BECAUSE you're Ed's son...you privileged fuck. You're and eighth-rate Foo Fighters, and not even flaked skin of the greatest American Rock and Roll band of all time. We all get why you don't play Van Halen songs every night...
...you'd be exposed.
Sorry....this was about Dave...
Whatever happened DLR...I sure can't wait for you to spill it...
So here we go...
What changed for Dave?
Prior to ten days or so ago, Dave seemed as calm and cool and collected on The Van Halen front as he ever has. He's talked about his relationship with Al post Ed's passing in as positive a light as he ever has. He's reminisced about VH the way the boys were doing prior to the 2012 release. There clearly was discussions with Dave about doing a tribute that included Al that disappeared, but...nothing seemed to be negative in an odd sense...especially for Van Halen.
Then fat fuckin' Bette Midler gets his money grubbing hot dog fingers dipping into the VH pool again with the "who gives a fuck" release of Van Hagar's bullshit (fine...whatever), and this S(h)am of a tour where he got alien rear-ended when Dave called him out for asking him to join the crew. It was hilarious and grand. Then Mikey meets up with Wolfy.
And of course...Wolfy...with his fucking bullshit gatekeeping.
So something changed for Dave.
Nine Days ago...Dave shredded that fat fuck Bette Midler in a Roth Show.
...and Dave's story...about Ed and Val's wedding night..."Eddie and I both hated her family. We both hated her brothers, her sisters, her parents..."
"Eddie and I knew the routine...now that I laugh, what a brotherly thing" talking about holding Ed while he was yakking after doing a bump so he wouldn't get shit on his tux...and Dave let go..."and we both started giggling...I don't want to fucking go out there."
Then the story about the VHS tape that Val saw...and she left him after six weeks...so this was...2001? The long and the short of THAT STORY? "Edward, my brother from another mother, I don't care who you fuck or how hard, and he laughed. Valerie, she wasn't laughing. In a declaration of some evangelical type 1930s fucking hate...she and her lawyers beat the shit out of that kid. She fucked him outta everything. And I'm going to tell you she left him flat...and penniless. The great Van Halen had to go borrow a million dollars and do the unimaginable...YES!...he had to call me...."
Eight Days ago...Dave discussed how Howdy Doody Ranch sucked the life outta Edward so much, that he had to escape on a golf cart to hit up the Sportsman's Lodge...for...well...you know...let your mind unwind "Eddie is wandering the halls like the Ghost of Hamlet's Dad." There seemed to be a lot of little stories not told, within the story...but it seemed to glean a not so kind story about the VH camp "they've taken away his car keys, he's livin' in his pajamas"...you can insert whatever names you want there...certainly slammed the shit out of Val...and skimmed across Al...and Wolfy...and led Ed to Jan.
"And guess who shows up...allegedly...but I just missed him by a day or two...my old friend Ed. We run in to each other now and then (!!!! Tell those fucking stories Dave), and I'm up there at the studio, my timelines are all backwards and forwards. I spend some time at The Sportsmen's Lodge. I didn't actually run into Ed, but it's a small community there. Having first discovered The Sportsmen's Lodge in his pajamas, the good way, Ed, in classic rock star fashion...remember the motto, "what is the perfect rock star solution for all emotional, drama, trauma, and pain?" Go on the road."
"...and you don't have to go far. In fact, the farthest Ed did go was down Coldwater about a mile and a quarter, to the Sportsman's Lodge, and he decides he's going to live there, and he does."
"He falls in with the porno crowd...granted Ed is in a state of emotional disarray, and he meets his future wife, in the swimming pool."
"I got myself in troube up at the studio...and my timelines are bouncing around...when I quoted Anthony Bourdain...the gourmet food critic's book...this should be the name of your porno craft services company..."A Bone in your Throat." I'll draw you the logo. Things went great and wrong with Jane and I instantly."
The long and the short of it...Janie straightens him out...new teeth...and he's going to write some music for it..."he needs a whole fuckin' porn shoot."
And of course...the "This Crazy Kid" post...he of course slams him hard. But what stood out to me was when Dave said, "...but as usual...he...just like his uncle and his uncle's brother...stiffed them for tickets." Now I suppose he could be talking about Val's brothers, who were sorta in the mix here and there...but don't think that's who he was talking about.
So Dave wasn't fearing throwing that slam out there involving Alex...and Ed.
So Dave wasn't fearling dropping an H-Bomb on the fake Mammoth.
So Dave brushed the dust off of mentioning Bette Midler by hilariously mentioning Bette's alien probing.
I wonder if something happened specific. Another falling out with Alex. Wolfgang doing something behind the scenes. Perhaps the S(h)am and the Sparrows are going to include in their reunion everyone BUT Dave, then find a way to blame Dave...which will now probably be these Roth Shows.
Meh...
Fuck it...
But that Roth timeline is fun. It seems as though he has jumbled a bunch of shit up...but the timeline around Ed's time there is fun, and when connected with Val leaving Ed...gets really fun. They separated in 2001...was that when Dave is referring to her leaving? He talks of the divorce? Was this in 2006-2007, when Dave and Ed had reconciled? Was he blending both things together? Was he making shit up.
Who the fuck knows...but Dave needs to keep fucking doing.
This fucking kid...
...isn't a toenail on the rock star that Dave was in 1974, let alone the fifty years since then. Go ahead and keep making an album in which everyone outside of the Van Halen camp pats you on the back for BECAUSE you're Ed's son...you privileged fuck. You're and eighth-rate Foo Fighters, and not even flaked skin of the greatest American Rock and Roll band of all time. We all get why you don't play Van Halen songs every night...
...you'd be exposed.
Sorry....this was about Dave...
Whatever happened DLR...I sure can't wait for you to spill it...
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