Teeny Bopper magazine declares, "OU812" is Van Halen's greatest masterpiece!

[FORD]

Let's see what we have in Ou812....

3 cheese ballads.....a Panama ripoff.....A 7 minute commercial for Sammy's bar.....A Loss of Control ripoff with "lyrics" that could have been recorded off a CB radio on I-80 going through Sheepfuck Wyoming....A terrible Little Feat cover that proves Hagar doesn't know the difference between John Wayne and John Lennon (Not surprising, since he's a Busheep)...A song about Allah in the East, Jesus in the West, and Eddie apparently making fart noises on his synthesizer....and then there's that one halfway decent song....halfway because Eddie does some decent Nashville style pickin', but they had to even ruin that one with the Ched Rocker whining about his inability to "finish what he started"

Why hasn't Viagra or another one of those floppy dick drugs bought the rights to this song?

And if the music itself wasn't horrid enough, what the FUCK was up with that production?? "Hey Eddie, why don't we make this album sound like you guys recorded it in a submarine at the bottom of the Marianas Trench??" "Yeah, sure why the Hell not"

Donn Landee was never heard from again after Ou812. If he's responsible for this mess, then good fucking riddance.

Now THAT is a Ou812 review, Mr. Steven Sheep!

[ClubDave]

is it just me or did someone say that sammy wrote good meaningful lyrics? i dont even think the sheeps go as far as to say that sammy writes good lyrics.........i mean hagar has always had a real bridge in the topics he writes when he creates total shit.........when its love, why cant this be love, love walks in, cant stop lovin you.........anyone notice a pattern........everyone knows daves lyrics are the most supreme lyrics all of rock and id love to meet someone who thinks that finish what ya started, shown below


Come on baby finish what ya started
That ain't no way to treat the broken hearted
If you wanna see the other guys
Baby, I could let slide
You wanna lover, you want a friend
Mama, I can get both them
I got the tools to satisfy
Just walk away, if I fall shy at all
Come on baby finish what ya started
I'm incomplete
That ain't no way to treat the broken hearted
I need some sympathy
I like to take each step, one by one
Right on time, you will arrive
By keepin' the dream alive
It's alive and it's kicking
Inside of me
So come on baby please
Come on baby finish what ya started
I'm incomplete
That ain't no way to treat the broken hearted
Come on and finish me
(Solo)
Come on baby finish what ya started
That ain't no way to treat the broken hearted
Come on baby finish what ya started
That ain't no way to treat the broken hearted
Baby, come on
Baby, come on

has better lyrical content than light up the sky, seen below

Yeah, we're all fast breakers comin' out of the gates
takin' chances. We're the crash and burn.
Yeah, there is a way with beauty, but you never gave
a love cross the line where none return.
I watch my television; almost lost my mind.
It said, "Open your eyes. Leave it all behind."
I heard the wind a whisp'rin',
strong magic comin' on!
They comin' out for sure.
Come see your children; yeah, they're lighting up the skies.
Won't recognize them any more.
Ooh, mama, see the firelight.
Ooh, we're comin' out tonight.
Wolves at my door wised up quick.
Turn here and gone from on the go.
Seems the old folks who come up short were the pretty
little kids who didn't want it, no.
I had to pay admission when I came tonight.
And it said, "Open my eyes. Leave it all behind."
I heard the wind a whisp'rin',
strong magic comin' on!
They comin' out for sure.
Come see your children; yeah, they're lighting up the skies.
Won't recognize them any more.
Ooh, mama, see the firelight.
Ooh, lightin' up the sky.
Light up the sky.
Light up the sky.
Light up the sky.
Light 'em up


bring up that point to someone whose pro hagar and lets see how they respond................hagar fans are faggots

[Mezro]

Mine all mine. OU812. Mine all mine. O...U812. Mine all mine you fucks...heh, heh.

Edward, this band is mine...all mine. (Sam stomps his feet)...mine all mine all mine all mine.

Don't look at me like that Alex. I'm fucking plugged in and I'm wired...do you feel me motherfucker...I'm naturally a blonde and naturally wired!

Edward (Sam puts his hand on his hips and a dildo to his lips) send me a message. Send me a fucking message right into my ass. Pop it in a bottle and cram it home full throttle.

Mikey, take off that three piece suit and show me your tubby sucker. (Sam pouts) Show me the sucker in a three piece! I want that hammy sucker now bitch!

Alex, I'm all black and blue and swollen around my onion. (Sam whips off his Cabo Wabo bikini briefs)...mouth me low you dull bitch. Mouth my party flap and don't miss any of the mustard!

Where are the Linkers? Here Linkers...moisturize my balls with a mouth bath. Don't be shy; carve my dripping pilgrims and finish what ya started...come on boys, i'm incomplete...and incontinent...chew slowly...ahhh....ahhhh...shaka doobie!

Mezro...memo to the world: OU812 is a bag of shit best left for dead...

[Switch84]

Re: LOL!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by dstanzler
[B]
3. They think 1984 is called the "Roman Numerals Album."

Oh, shit, hot DAMN, THAT HAD ME LAUGHING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKA!!!!!!!

[Matt White]

OU812 was when the reality set in: EVH was NO LONGER a guitar hero. No stand out solos, no mind blowing instrumentals, and no risk taking. A very UN-INSPIRED record by a "admittedly" burn-out and BOOZED up bunch. EVH has gone as far to say that the problems with Spams lyrical content started HERE. A truly DISMAL recording.


DAVE OR THE GRAVE BABY!!!

[Don Corleone]

Originally posted by Matt White
EVH has gone as far to say that the problems with Spams lyrical content started HERE.

You don't need to look any further than Source of Infection.

[SweetSecrets]

Originally posted by FORD
Let's see what we have in Ou812....

3 cheese ballads.....a Panama ripoff.....A 7 minute commercial for Sammy's bar.....A Loss of Control ripoff with "lyrics" that could have been recorded off a CB radio on I-80 going through Sheepfuck Wyoming....A terrible Little Feat cover that proves Hagar doesn't know the difference between John Wayne and John Lennon (Not surprising, since he's a Busheep)...A song about Allah in the East, Jesus in the West, and Eddie apparently making fart noises on his synthesizer....and then there's that one halfway decent song....halfway because Eddie does some decent Nashville style pickin', but they had to even ruin that one with the Ched Rocker whining about his inability to "finish what he started"

Why hasn't Viagra or another one of those floppy dick drugs bought the rights to this song?

And if the music itself wasn't horrid enough, what the FUCK was up with that production?? "Hey Eddie, why don't we make this album sound like you guys recorded it in a submarine at the bottom of the Marianas Trench??" "Yeah, sure why the Hell not"

Donn Landee was never heard from again after Ou812. If he's responsible for this mess, then good fucking riddance.

Now THAT is a Ou812 review, Mr. Steven Sheep!

Well said! I'm voting for FORD in this next election!

[Matt White]

EVH from 1988 GUITARWORLD interview:

EVH: "I just wanna call it "ROCK AND ROLL"," he says, "'cause that's what it is. It ain't HEAVY METAL, it's not HARD ROCK--it's rock 'n' roll."

The delusional EVH had begun to surface. Perhaps, the alcohol & drug consumption had increased.


DAVE OR THE GRAVE BABY!!!!