What If The Bible Is Really True? Parts 1 & 2

[PETE'S BROTHER]

From the modern translation "The Message", so nobody gets hung up on the thous, shalts, and verilys......

awesome

9-10 When the host tasted the water that had become wine (he didn't know what had just happened but the servants, of course, knew), he called out to the bridegroom,"Everybody I know begins with their finest wines and after the guests have had their fill brings in the cheap stuff. But you've saved the best till now!"


isn't it weird that at the end of the "bender" you could be drinkin' pabst thinkin' "this he-brew is the bomb!"?


6-7 Six stoneware water pots were there, used by the Jews for ritual washings. Each held twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus ordered the servants, "Fill the pots with water." And they filled them to the brim and added some pomegranite juice or some shit.

[FORD]

I've heard quite a few fundamentalists try to say the wine was non-alcoholic...

Yeah, I've known people like that. The Baptist church I grew up in used regular non-fermented grape juice for their communion services. And I worked with a newly saved fundamentalist black lady in a restaurant who was suddenly convinced that she would go to Hell if she even served alcohol to paying customers. This of course became problematic when she and I were the only ones working, as I was under 21 at the time. I told her God would forgive her, but the Washington State Liquor Control Board wouldn't forgive me. And besides, Jesus drank wine, so how could she object to the "blood of Christ"?

She continued to insist it was just grape juice. I reminded her that these people lived in the desert with no refrigeration, and therefore, "grape juice" wasn't going to stay juice for very long.

[ELVIS]

~Ha!~

[PETE'S BROTHER]

the "christian reformed" church and "lutheran" grade school i went to both used grape juice as well

[jhale667]

the "christian reformed" church and "lutheran" grade school i went to both used grape juice as well

Pretty sure the Catholic school I attended used grape juice for the "kiddie-only" masses, but I can remember when I was an altar boy they always had gallons of Port on hand for the regular services...

[Hardrock69]

Here is something many Christian idiots are not aware of. The only reason the servants would come to Jesus to ask him about the wine supply at a wedding party back then would have been if he was in charge of the party, because it was HIS wedding. If it had been someone else's wedding, they would not have come to him to ask about such a thing, they would have gone to the bridegroom to ask him.

Your average moronic zealot knows nothing about the culture or customs of that area at that time (early First Century BCE). They only foam at the mouth when discussing all the 'miracles' Jebus performed, but, not being intellectuals, they miss entirely anything else to do with that storytale.

[Diamondjimi]

Pretty sure the Catholic school I attended used grape juice for the "kiddie-only" masses, but I can remember when I was an altar boy they always had gallons of Port on hand for the regular services...

You realize that grape juice is a gateway juice...

[FORD]

Here is something many Christian idiots are not aware of. The only reason the servants would come to Jesus to ask him about the wine supply at a wedding party back then would have been if he was in charge of the party, because it was HIS wedding. If it had been someone else's wedding, they would not have come to him to ask about such a thing, they would have gone to the bridegroom to ask him.

Your average moronic zealot knows nothing about the culture or customs of that area at that time (early First Century BCE). They only foam at the mouth when discussing all the 'miracles' Jebus performed, but, not being intellectuals, they miss entirely anything else to do with that storytale.

The groom was supposedly one of JC's cousins, and his mom seemed to be running the party, so the servants might have been ordered by the groom to "do whatever Aunt Mary says" and from there, she told them to listen to JC, since she knew He would come through with the wine. If it had been JC's wedding, He probably wouldn't have been as hesitant to break out the miracle powers, since He would want to get through the show and on to the honeymoon.

[FORD]

**hiccup** :bottle:

[fifth element]

Yeah, I've known people like that. The Baptist church I grew up in used regular non-fermented grape juice for their communion services. And I worked with a newly saved fundamentalist black lady in a restaurant who was suddenly convinced that she would go to Hell if she even served alcohol to paying customers. This of course became problematic when she and I were the only ones working, as I was under 21 at the time. I told her God would forgive her, but the Washington State Liquor Control Board wouldn't forgive me. And besides, Jesus drank wine, so how could she object to the "blood of Christ"?

She continued to insist it was just grape juice. I reminded her that these people lived in the desert with no refrigeration, and therefore, "grape juice" wasn't going to stay juice for very long.

people do, however, simply insist on seeing things their own way at times, don't they...lol

[fifth element]

The groom was supposedly one of JC's cousins, and his mom seemed to be running the party, so the servants might have been ordered by the groom to "do whatever Aunt Mary says" and from there, she told them to listen to JC, since she knew He would come through with the wine. If it had been JC's wedding, He probably wouldn't have been as hesitant to break out the miracle powers, since He would want to get through the show and on to the honeymoon.

let's hear it for honeymoon's...lol

[PETE'S BROTHER]

people do, however, simply insist on seeing things their own way at times, don't they...lol

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[fifth element]

LOL...i remember those commercials....lolol

[chefcraig]

Alma Sorrowbridge: I don't mind a bit of swearing, it's only natural, but I draw the line when you involve Jesus.
Arthur Bryant: Oh, please spare me the sanctimony. The Christian legend is an embarrassingly childish reiteration of hoary old vegetation myths, the simple impregnation-and-resurrection cycle of pagan tree gods. You should try one of the more complex, grown-up religions from the Far East for a while, rather than worrying over a bunch of ghost stories concocted by bored shepherds in tents. Wait until they confirm life on other planets, that'll mess up Christianity for you.
Alma Sorrowbridge: Shame on you, you wicked old man! Every time you blaspheme, an angel is stripped of it's wings.
Arthur Bryant: A good job, too. Sanctimonious bloody things drifting about with their harps, ticking people off all the time like feathered traffic wardens.
Alma Sorrowbridge: I don't think you'll ever get into Heaven.
Arthur Bryant: The only reason why people need to believe in an afterlife is because they're fed up with this one.

Chapter 7, pgs 41-42 Bryant & May On The Loose - Christopher Fowler, 2009

[Hardrock69]

@ Ford:

Anything is possible. Just posting what the customs were back then. The person in charge of the wine was usually the groom.

Not a bad custom if you ask me. Though if it had been me, the servants would be coming to me saying " Master, we are almost out of hash!" and I would be replying "Go outside, dig up some dirt, and put it here on this table."