The Sheep Pen

[bueno bob]

Well, good that Bill's back...Bill and I have such a positive work ethic, you know...lol...the curse of 3000 posts, lol

[bueno bob]

Hey Rikk...gimme a few minutes after you induct Gay.J. here, I gotta eat me a bowl of cereal or somethin'...

[Rikk]

* * * * * SHEEP PEN ANNOUNCEMENT * * * * *

Friends, comrades, countrymen, follow Rothtards...

I've noticed this Pen has been neglecting its many duties lately with much frolicking and partying. The place is a mess and the Pen mascots and employees have been running rampant, acting like nutcases while our administrators cheer them on. The birthday party has also carried on for too long, and fresh water and liver transplants have been given to all involved.

Men, it's time to get back on track. The Pen is about inducting sheep. It's about protecting the Army from our moronic invading Roth-haters and Roth-criticizers. In short, it's about inducting sheep. And we've been slow to do this lately when it should be our primary function. There have been so many morons of late, and I am just as guilty in ignoring them. I've been too busy pointing out the idiocy and hypocrisy of moron Guwapo, drinking at Natra's new bar or having sex with my new woman Rikksgirl in the ever famous I love Rikk! thread. Nick has been too busy fighting morons such as NightProwler . Bill has been in hiding, pursued by the FBI for imitating a famous movie character and raping a goat. Poop Boy has been busy in a sexual relationship with the man he knows only as Snotra (no apparent relation to Natra). It's apparently quite heavy. He's also been scene asking many posters if it seems "cold in here to you". Matt has been seen initiating insane parties that in the end required several Pen Administrators to be hooked up to a permanent IV. Damn you, Matt, you mother fucker.

Here are some pictures from the MAX/BUENO BOB double-birthday party:


Matt (his hair cut short) begins the proceedings



Snotra's wife gets into the action



Nikk pukes on himself



Northern Girl enjoys the party



Panamark expresses his fondness for the Pen



Names unknown, but I do know that Ed had to clean it up later



The point is, it's high time to get back on topic. So here we are. Everyone is starting to sober up. It's time to induct our next fucking sheep. And we have a great fucking candidate this week.

Ladies and gentlemen, our next SHEEP OF THE WEEK:

A.J.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right. This son of a bitch basically jumped into our site and is making fun of not only the Army but our hero David Lee Roth, defending that sack of shit Sammy Hagar and the so-called "reunion" tour.

Let's sample some of GAY-JAY's work:

"look you fucking retard, van halen did very well on this last tour
did only 80 citys and still came in #6 top ten money making tour."

Six in total gross, you fucking tool. Hell, you could put a singing Alan Alda on the road for ages and give him a huge show and he could eventually have a giant gross if he were on the road maybe 360 nights a year with a free food stamp and handjob from Hotlips. The point is, final gross has nothing to do with profit. The bottom line is that this tour lost money because of the guarantees to promoters. The initial business projection was for much bigger business and sold-out large venues. This year, the band of assholes found out that they cannot do that without Diamond Dave. It took them 20 years to learn this, but at least they finally learned it. I hope Sammy Hagar is crying in a bin of his unsold LONG ROAD TO CABO dvd's.

"do the math you fuck sticks."

I did. You came out on the losing end. With a $750,000 guarantee from most promoters and almost not one show reaching that number, Van Halen caused a lot of promoters to have a bad year because they lost a lot of money on what they thought was a big name. But promoters learned one of two things: either Van Halen is not a big name at all anymore OR Van Halen will only sell with the dynamite greatest white man in showbusiness, Diamond David Lee Roth!!!

"what has roth done? that shoe leather looking motherfucker hasn't seen the top ten in anything in over 2o fucking years. roth is nothing he has done nothing. van halen in no way shape or form needs that ugly wizard looking cock sucker they have proved that time after time. next time you roth douch bags want to bash eddie and alex lets take a look who's done what."

Care to explain how the band accomplished anything? Did you see the band on any big magazine covers? KISS got four SPIN covers on their reunion tour, plus the cover of FORBES, a full MTV special, etc. What did VAN HALEN get on their so-called "reunion" tour? A guest-spot on Captain Kangaroo? Oh wait. He's dead. So are they.

Hell, even the Sam & Dave Tour had its own VH-1 special. This Van Halen tour didn't even have that. It just had a shitty Greatest Hits set that bombed both in the charts and in total sales, plus radio ignored the three new songs and almost every review I read agreed that the new songs sucked; plus the compilation had the major problem that every other song wasn't as good as every other song. (Gee, I don't think it was the Hagar songs they were complimenting, Gay-Jay!)

"oh by the way you pantie wast drummerworld did a poll 2 months ago on who's the best drummer. john bonham neil peart or alex van halen. well eat on this. (in order ) #1 jonh bonham #2 alex van halen #3 neil peart. alex was only 6 votes behind bonham to take the #1 spot. FUCK OFF ASSHOLES!!!! LONG LIVE EDDIE AND ALEX VAN HALEN!!!!"

Have you seen pics of your hero guitarist lately? He doesn't look like he's going to live another year. Let's hope the hard stench that emanates from Sammy's armpits doesn't do any more damage to Eddie's lungs or liver on stage. Let's hope Sammy Hagar breaks his neck after tripping on his own stomach and can never sing live again! (I don't want him to die...I don't hate any singer that much...plus he'd be a martyr!!).

You, Gay-Jay, are fucking OWNED!!!


Let's give out arms to the Pen staff...


Carl and family



Merle...the sexiest man alive



Ed...the hungriest man alive...
this man can eat 2 lbs. of lamb in 30 seconds



Biff (with friend)



Mr. Pickels...definitely one tough son of a bitch!!!



My other woman





Nick, Matt, Bill, Bob, Poop Boy...
Get him, boys.

[NightProwler]

"fighting"?

LMAO

Is that what you delude yourself into thinking you're doing here?

Obviously you have never actually been in a real fight.

[rustoffa]

Originally posted by NightProwler
"fighting"?

LMAO

Is that what you delude yourself into thinking you're doing here?

Obviously you have never actually been in a real fight.

What's up man?
rustoffa here.

Feel free to pontificate on delusions of grandeur regarding fisticuffs.

I'm all ears.

[bueno bob]

Welcome to the Pen, Gay-J!

Listen up, shitcakes - why in the fuck you'd bother with coming into THE DLR site on the internet to stir up your little tempest in a teacup is entirely beyond me, but Sir Rikk has just put you into place, so far as your numbers are concerned.

You, sir, are a complete tool. You would not know Van Halen from any other band on the planet due to your scathingly gay endorsement of all things Hagar, and this makes you to be the lowest of the low...the dirtiest of the dirty...and the worst of all possible sinners. The 9th level of Hell is reserved for such idiotic banter as the shit you've spewed, polluting our main forums with what would otherwise be intelligent discussion! Your place in the Pen has been well earned, my friend! I can only hope that my true bretheren in here see fit to hand you the ass-whipping you so royally deserve! I myself consider it an honorable duty to be the first to welcome you into your week of hellish torture, and although I may not have been stepping up to the plate lately, rest assured YOU WILL BE OWNED before this week is over.

Consider the many names underneath my signature - many of them have left IN TERROR of my wrath and have not been seen since! Hell week for you begins now! Time will tell if you're intelligent enough to see the errors of your ways....or if you'll be condemned to a fate worse then death for the rest of your days - and that fate, my friend...is Sammy Hagar fandom.

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by NightProwler
"fighting"?

LMAO

Is that what you delude yourself into thinking you're doing here?

Obviously you have never actually been in a real fight.

Now who the hell is this turd?

[Rikk]

Originally posted by bueno bob
Now who the hell is this turd?

He's insignificant.

Didn't you know? FLAPPO owns him.

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by Rikk
He's insignificant.

Didn't you know? FLAPPO owns him.

Oh really? Good.

[Rikk]

Originally posted by rustoffa
What's up man?
rustoffa here.

Feel free to pontificate on delusions of grandeur regarding fisticuffs.

I'm all ears.

I'm sure he's going to try and fuck with you now too, Stoffa. The only reason NIGHTPORK can't go in the Pen is because he hasn't really said anything anti-Roth that I know of (though I could have missed it).

I guess it's G-Jay's week.

[bueno bob]

By the way, I need to get somebody willing to work on this for their "Bueno Police" avatar...

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by Rikk
I'm sure he's going to try and fuck with you now too, Stoffa. The only reason NIGHTPORK can't go in the Pen is because he hasn't really said anything anti-Roth that I know of (though I could have missed it).

I guess it's G-Jay's week.

That's alright, Gay-Jay's earned it with his little rant in main. I need to resharpen my claws a bit anyway, he's as good a victim as any.

And thusly, we shall have the LONG AWAITED RETURN of Bueno Bob to the Pen

[Rikk]

Originally posted by bueno bob
And thusly, we shall have the LONG AWAITED RETURN of Bueno Bob to the Pen

It's about fucking time. Seriously!!

[bueno bob]

Well, shit, just consider it my vacation time...I was due, wasn't I? Look at my list of victims...I've been busy...

[bueno bob]

Hey, I just did a bit of searching and found a link to Gay-J's home page...grabbed a pic of him while I was there...