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The Time David Lee Roth Abandoned His Plymouth Valiant to Rot
For our music feature this week we spoke with Ted Cohen, a record company man who was essentially tasked with babysitting Van Halen during their glory days in the late '70s and early '80s. Nowadays Cohen lives in the Hollywood Hills and is not associated with the group, but on the eve of their latest tour -- which hits Staples Center tonight and June 9 -- he spoke to us about his experiences with the group.
On the first day he met Van Halen:
Warner Music invited the band to the Petit Chateau on Lancashire in North Hollywood...to discuss their debut album. David Lee Roth showed up half an hour late, explaining his old Plymouth Valiant had broken down a couple of miles from the restaurant. Out of that lunch, we announced to the guys that they'd be going on a major tour to support their first record, and from there, we took them to the Whisky so they could rehearse for us. I later learned Lee Roth never went to pick up his rusty Valiant, and when I asked him why, he told me that it represented the past. All he was focused on was his future.
On why he believed Van Halen would make it:
The band never seemed contrived. They had spent six years trying to get signed, they were promoting their own shows, they had their own sound and lights, they would rent out halls in Glendale or Pasadena to play gigs at and they handled all their own sound and lighting. They worked hard and they were poised for success. This wasn't a band that had come up with a few songs on ProTools or Garage Band and a couple of weeks later had a deal.
On the band's pranks:
We were always playing tricks on each other. Once, I left my jacket in the dressing room, and after the show was over I went to put it on, and I discovered both sleeves were filled with two loaves of bread.
The next morning, we were meant to drive to the airport and I reached into my pocket to get the car keys and both pockets were filled with cold ham, baloney and turkey. At 11 pm the night before, the bread was funny. At 8 am, greasy meat in my pockets wasn't so funny. I popped and went off at them, and all of them denied doing it.
At the airport, I sat on the other side of the waiting area to get on the plane. I didn't want to talk to any of them. And then, one by one, they each confessed to doing it. It went from none of them doing it to all of them doing it. To this day, I still don't know who did it. It wasn't such a big deal anyway - it's just that at 8 am, you're hardly in the mood for pockets full of meat.
On Van Halen's motto:
The guys in the band had a saying that "Van Halen means never having to say you're sorry," which was taken from a line in the Ryan O'Neal movie Love Story.sigpicRoth Army CanadaComment
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On the band's attitude:
A lot of people claimed that Van Halen were sarcastic and arrogant and full of themselves, but I would always explain that even though they could party anyone under a table, they were some of the nicest guys I'd ever met.
On their legendary rock'n'roll rider:
Van Halen were one of the pioneers of the rock'n'roll rider. They did it as a test to see if the promoter was actually reading their contract. They famously asked for M&Ms but infamously stipulated that all the brown ones were to be removed. In all seriousness though, this was really a visual test to make sure that their other requirements in relation to the show were taken seriously.
They did request condoms and lubricant jelly, and I had fun because it was the first time I was ever asked to be included on a band's tour rider. So for six years, as requested on the rider, I had a six-pack of Tab diet soda set aside for me.
On Lee Roth before he was re-instated into the band:
I saw David Lee Roth at the Hard Rock in Orlando in 1996, doing the David Lee Roth Band which seemed just as good as Van Halen. He had a guitarist that was an Eddie van Halen clone. You closed your eyes, and musically it sounded like Van Halen at the height of their success.
In the dressing room after the show, Lee Roth told me, "I'm getting back with the band" and I was like "Uh huh." A few weeks later they all appeared on stage together at the MTV Awards and everybody presumed Lee Roth was back with the band, but something went down backstage and he was banished again.sigpicRoth Army CanadaComment
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I think you may have missed your true calling in life. Such writing talent is sufficient to qualify you as a ghost writer for Sammy Hagar.
Ten times. As in, 1,000%. An order of magnitude. Why am I not surprised that you couldn't figure that one out, and then embarrassed yourself calling someone else a dummy?"ten percent more brain activity"? Really??
You're even more disabled than I thought. But at least you can count to 10, so if nothing else, you've got that going for ya'...
I'm more than happy to play with you, but you really need to step it up. It's sad enough when you're actually on your game. With performances like this, I'm going to feel guilty for picking on the mentally challenged.
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...and for every action...
Now there's a post just begging to be disassembled and made fun of....I think you may have missed your true calling in life. Such writing talent is sufficient to qualify you as a ghost writer for Sammy Hagar.
Ten times. As in, 1,000%. An order of magnitude. Why am I not surprised that you couldn't figure that one out, and then embarrassed yourself calling someone else a dummy?
I'm more than happy to play with you, but you really need to step it up. It's sad enough when you're actually on your game. With performances like this, I'm going to feel guilty for picking on the mentally challenged.
Let's start at the top.....
"The All-Too Familiar Sammy Hagar Reference"- Nothing irks a David Lee Roth fan more than being likened to Hagar in some way or another, so why not do that? Afterall, it was very effective....especially back in the day.
"The Misspelled Word or Grammatical Error"- By finding one in someones post, you can use it against them while trying to get as much mileage out of it as you possibly can. Another approach most commonly used...back in the day.
"The 'You're Gonna Have To Step Up Your Game' Angle"- Another approach from the days of yore, but it's the only thing in your post that isn't weak sauce. Hell, I may even use it by the end of this one!
And that pretty much summarizes your entire post in general, a nostalgic trip down memory lane. The whole game of trying to annihilate somebody has changed drastically from a decade ago. Hell, just in the time you've had your head lodged up in Ron Fail's ass, it's gotten more sophisticated. Not to worry, because if you insist on being a dickhead, I'm going to show you exactly what I mean.
I've never been able to figure out what your beef with me is (I haven't even so much as met your wife), but I am obviously done trying to figure what it is. If you want to keep going, then ring the bell and bring it, bitch! My only advice to you is to get with the times and modernize your attack somehow, because the only thing I find offensive about your post is the absolute boredom that it induces. It leaves me feeling that I should give you a bowl of soup, pat you on top of the head, and call it a motherfucking day.
I think that's about it...for now anyway.Last edited by hambon4lif; 06-04-2012, 03:17 PM.Comment
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Valerie does kind of resemble Yoko Ono with those small, slanted eyes...The heart is on the left. The blood is red.Comment
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Valerie is currently engaging in a mild Twitter war with this Ted Cohen guy.ROTH ARMY MILITIA
Originally posted by EAT MY ASSHOLE
Sharky sometimes needs things spelled out for him in explicit, specific detail. I used to think it was a lawyer thing, but over time it became more and more evident that he's merely someone's idiot twin.Comment
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Originally posted by conmee
If anyone even thinks about deleting the Muff Thread they are banned.... no questions asked.
That is all.
Icon.Originally posted by GO-SPURS-GO
I've seen prominent hypocrite liberal on this site Jhale667
Originally posted by Isaac R.
Then it's really true??
The Muff Thread is really just GONE ???
OMFG...who in their right mind...???
Originally posted by eddie78
I was wrong about you, brother. You're good.Comment
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Wow, 6 tweets in a row about this from Val. Truth hurts, doesn't it??
In a way I can understand that it must have been difficult for her, falling for a guy that has all those girls after him, and touring with people that maybe encouraging him to dump Val, and continue the rock'n roll lifestyle. But why didn't she work WITH the bandmembers instead of against them?
Of topic: Saw her twitter-pic: man is she ugly.. What did Ed ever see in her? On the other hand, Ed is no Greta Garbo himself.Last edited by envy_me; 06-05-2012, 03:02 PM.The heart is on the left. The blood is red.Comment
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ROTH ARMY MILITIA
Originally posted by EAT MY ASSHOLE
Sharky sometimes needs things spelled out for him in explicit, specific detail. I used to think it was a lawyer thing, but over time it became more and more evident that he's merely someone's idiot twin.Comment
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"If you want to be a monk... you gotta cook a lot of rice...”Comment
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And there was tweet no 8. Doesn't she have a job?The heart is on the left. The blood is red.Comment
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