Eat Us And Smile: EVOLUTION

[POJO_Risin]

That's bad enough...

but seriously...

doing it so you can fucking post the picture on the web?

That's borderline sick...

[MAX]

Poj,

I think you already know my thoughts about posting personal pics on the web, let alone one's own children... They're fucking innocent.

Dressing them up as Bette to boot? 'Tis beyond fucked up my friend.

[POJO_Risin]

..."I can't wait until I can get my fellow uffers this pic of my kid dressed up as Sammy Hagar...I just can't wait..."

morons...

[MAX]

Well, UFF has never been one known to harbor a lot of collective brian cells among themselves.

I'll tell you mang, that Cabo Swill will fuck one up and in more ways than one.

Fuck, look what happened to spED's playing once he took a nip or two of it?

Fuck, what's next, the drunken Ed heads are goin' to start posting pics of their kids dressed as bums? Or better yet, are Alexis fans going to put neckbraces on their younguns and make them mug for shots, preferibly for those "oh so popular" daytime lawyer accident commercials?

Fuck...

[LoungeMachine]

Kama?

It's well known Roy can't spell worth a shit...

Perhaps the ankle biter was supposed to be named Comma.

As in, here's my kid ","



This is what happens when Roy fans are allowed to BREED.

[WARF]

Originally posted by MAX
Childhood obesity rate balloons in 20 years

Last Updated Sun, 25 Dec 2005 18:04:28

Cabo Wabo, USA - More American kids than ever are overweight, even obese, and an EUAS researcher thinks the problem is just going to get worse.

A study published Sunday in the American Medical Association Journal shows the rate of obesity among American boys aged two to 15 tripled between 1986 and 1996. Girls in the same age group have twice the prevalence of obesity.

That increase is simply staggering, says Doctor WARF, a research fellow at the American Research Institute for Social Policy in VHLand who conducted the study.

"This is a very rapidly growing problem here in America," said WARF, who is also a professor of kinesiology at the University of Classic Van Halen. "And I think parents, educators, decision makers, need to pay very close attention to this."

Using data from studies done in 1981, 1986 and 1996, WARF and his research partner Maximus tracked the weight problems of America's children.

The study looked at the body mass index (BMI) of children. The index is a ratio of weight to height commonly used to determine a person's ideal weight.

In 1996, the study found 13.5 per cent of boys were obese, 30 per cent were overweight. The numbers for girls are nearly as bad – 11.8 per cent and 24 per cent. Ironically, the obese children all listened to the same music written by Sammy Hagar and Bette Midler. It has been widely rumored and speculated throughout the medical community that both Midler and Hagar are actually the same person. It's also highly speculated that both of the aformentioned obese singers have subliminal messages within their songs calling for children to eat cheese.

The rates in 1981 were five and 15 per cent for both sexes. Both Dr. Warf and Maximus also note that in 1981 children listened to music with lyrics written by David Lee Roth (both a martial arts enthusiast, expert and an avid adventurer) that inspired children to "hit the ground running"and were physically active because of it.

Ironically, both an alarming and immediately noticable decline began in 1986 when the same children (now in their teens) began listening to lyrics such as "U.S. Prime, Grade A stamped, guaranteed. Grease it up and turn on the heat. You got ta' throw it down and roll it over once, maybe twice and chow down, and down and down and down!"



Many would assume that the problem has its roots in poor diets, with too much junk food and not enough nutrition.

Kids need more exercise and less Hagar

But WARF says it has more to do with lifestyle – too many kids get their Super Sized McDonalds McHagar Meals while under the impression "that's what dreams are made of," rather than jumping twenty feet off of monkey bars, kicking and runnin' with the devil on the playground.

The implications of the study reach beyond the body images of the children to include their long-term health and, by extension, the public health and the health system.

Child obesity rates
Boys Girls
1981 5% 5%
1996 13.5% 11.8%


Overweight kids are likely to be overweight adults and alarmingly among females the growth rate of gunts *** is now reaching epidemic proportions, making it all the more important that the trend be reversed, WARF says.

*** Gunts are a grotesque physical abnormality among mostly women wherest one cannot decifer the front of the body from the front. 'Tis found in morbidly obese women and is commonly referred to as "ass in the front."



Written by Rotharmy News Online staff

lmao!!!
Did you write all that shit?

[WARF]

Originally posted by POJO_Risin
That's bad enough...

but seriously...

doing it so you can fucking post the picture on the web?

That's borderline sick...

Borderline sick?
His parents makes Michael Jackson's pedophilia seem like a pimple on Eddie Van Halen's ass.

[WARF]

Greetings, Up Front Fanatics. We are all interested in the future of vhlinks, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember YankeeRose, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened to that child on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who dressed him up as Sammy Hagar during this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. EUAS, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. Pojo, can your heart stand the shocking facts of parents who let their children watch the food network?!?!

[diamondsgirl]

Originally posted by MAX
Experts say that the childhood obesety rate 'tis at an all time high!!!

Are we going to stand for this?

No, I say!!! NO!!!

Also, what in the fuck is that on the poor, sweet and innocent child's chin?

Fuck the proper authorities, this is an emergency situation and can only be fixed by EUAS!!!

and what the fuck did they do, glue it on only to tear it off when they are done with the fucking photo shoot? sick fuck.

damn!

[WARF]

Then you got SammyHagar.net moderator Jeanette applauding her for it.

And your right... if that's a girl that's even more fucked up!

[diamondsgirl]

Hey guys, thanks for the compliments! That's my daughter! Yep, daughter!.... In that second picture, she's screaming, "EEEEE-ULLLLS FWYYYYYY"!

I'll bet she was!

DAMN!

[WARF]

Hey Jeanette... let's staple antlers to her head next christmas!!!!

[MAX]

Originally posted by WARF
lmao!!!
Did you write all that shit?

Hahahaha!!!

No, I pulled up an article and fucked with about half of it. It's about a 51/50 gig.

[MAX]

Originally posted by WARF
Then you got SammyHagar.net moderator Jeanette applauding her for it.

And your right... if that's a girl that's even more fucked up!

That's a little girl?!?!?!?!? That's beyond fucked up.

Dressing some poor, innocent little girl as a fat, tequila swillin' creep with BBQ sauce stains on the shirt just ain't cool at all. Seriously, the kid doesn't even know wht the fuck she's supposed to be? Her parents should be bitchslapped for that one.

[diamondsgirl]

Originally posted by WARF
Hey Jeanette... let's staple antlers to her head next christmas!!!!

LMAO

I think we should glue a fake goatee to Jeanette's face and tear it off, she'll never have to worry about unsightly facial hair again