A Question For The Guys

[hambon4lif]

"shy people never get what they want, they accept whatever they can get" - hambon4lif '10

[GAR]

The whole problem with this 'sending a drink' approach is that it's prehistoric.

Its also a considerate way to say hello and get a smile!

[hambon4lif]

Its also a considerate way to say hello and get a smile!

And that's all you'll get, because she's already aware that you're a library-dwelling drip of a loser that has a Schwinn parked in the bike-rack in front of the bar.

You have nothing to offer, and they're appreciative that you've sacrificed so much of your allowance towards buying them a drink.

It's condescending, really........

[Panamark]

Of course if a girl got a bartender to send me a drink I would take it and drink it
whether she was hot, fat, had two heads or was an obese hog...
Doesn't mean I would have to talk to her. (And my love for alcohol is greater
than my willpower for any form of manners system)
Hell, she could keep on sending em over as soon as I finish each one, if
I get drunk enough I might wave as I'm leaving.

[GAR]

That was most unkind. And incorrect.

[Panamark]

That was most unkind. And incorrect.

Why ? I'm being most gracious by accepting the gift. Don't want to offend her !

[GAR]

oops, you posted during a reply to hambone

[Panamark]

No matter !

Its all in jest anyway......

[binnie]

Sending it via the bartender must be an American thing.

If I wanted to talk to you, I'd come over and offer to buy you a drink - that gives you the room to decline.

Otherwise, I might have bought you a drink and still have gotten nowhere - then I'm broken hearted and out of pocket.....

[hideyoursheep]

You "send" a drink during your set, during the break, You say "hello, have you met my penis?"

[Grant]

To be honest, I don't think I've ever as a first course of approach offered to buy a lady a drink in a bar. Definitely never been my thing. If I was interested in meeting someone I'd toy around with some casual eye-contact and see where that leads, or if I'm feeling in the mood or confident enough I'd approach her for a conversation. Certainly if I end up enjoying her company and the feeling seems mutual then I'd buy her one.

Of course, there would've been some times (many years ago when being a little bit more naive) where I'd be pretty much minding my own business and I'd eventually get asked upon by a girl who's been checking me out (usually the flighty pretentious type) to buy a drink for her. But nowadays, if that happens I usually refuse because I know I'd be wasting my time (and delicious alcohol money) on someone who's just out on an ego-trip and playing the usual mind games. But then again it would depend on the vibe and my impressions on the person. Or better yet be simple enough just to take Russell Crowe's John Nash character approach and simply reply with, "Can we just cut straight to the sex?"

[Northern Girl]

It's highly unlikely that you'll even see an attractive woman sitting by herself in a bar anymore, and any guy that would send you a drink is either too-old-fashioned & shy (to the point where it's a fault), or a complete and total asshole who thinks that by you accepting the drink, they've been given the greenlight to come over to you and engage in conversation......

First of all, I would never go to a bar by myself. No reason to that I can think of unless I was looking for action - and I don't do that.

the thing about accepting the drink creates the misconception that you're obligated to talk to them, or even worse, that you can be bought

exactly...this is how it makes me feel

It strictly depends on what's going through the mind of the dude that sent you the drink.

Yes, this is what I'm trying to figure out. LOL

because women are more intelligent than we are, I give them the benefit of the doubt as far as being able to know the difference just by looking at them.

not so easy...a quick glance at the guy isn't going to tell me much...and it depends on the situation too...

One time a girlfriend and I were sitting at the bar (early evening)...three guys sitting at a table send drinks over...they are sitting on one side of the table all facing us (gay right?) watching for a reaction or whatever...I didn't want the drink...bartender didn't ask...just gives it to me...he wants the sale I guess...in this case my impression was three clueless losers hoping for something to happen but no balls to make it happen...but I still felt really guilty walking out shortly after especially because we had to walk right by them to get to the door...I gave them a smile and a nod and kept walking...did I crush their fragile egos...did they think we were bitches for accepting and just leaving...am I making too much of it and shouldn't give a shit? LOL

The way I see it, they are taking the risk because as I said they don't know jack about me...

Thanks for the input anyway, guys and gals. It seems I won't know unless someone here actually uses this approach and they probably won't admit it now. LOL

[Northern Girl]

Nah, it still happens. Even at my advanced age.

Because you're hot!

[Northern Girl]

The thing that throws me is that you can tell a girl on the prowl and who would be receptive, I would think. I don't go to bars looking for men. I don't dress like a slut. So, is he just being nice and wanting to say hello? I don't fucking know.

[Seshmeister]

Were you ovulating at the time?