A Question For The Guys

[Northern Girl]

My, we're a bit judgmental now?

Telling someone to do what makes them happy is judgmental? I'm not sure you know what the word means.

I'm thinking, "Good for you, if that makes you happy, do it!" If you are thinking something else, I guess that's your issue.

[hideyoursheep]

What was the question?

Guys,

When you are out at a bar and you send (per bartender) me a drink, what’s on your mind; what are you hoping for? Considering you don’t know jack about me, I need to know what provokes this method.

Are you trying to be a big shot? Just being nice and you think this will impress me? Are you afraid to come and talk to me? Are you shy/intimidated/insecure and this is your passive way of seeing if I’m interested in you and will come over and talk to you?

Well, I'm not really interested in "game" or hearing some playa's rap anyway.

I think more than not, it's just a nice gesture. Approaching strangers can't be easy. I don't do it. The whole bar pick up scene is not for me. Of course, there are nice people in bars. (I mean I'm there, right?) It's hard to know who's sincere, because it is such a cliche pick up place.

I guess that's why I was asking, because I don't want to be rude to someone who is just being nice.

As far as guys buying me drinks, I don't need it and I don't ask for it. I have plenty of money to buy my own drinks. If I did meet someone and enjoyed talking to him and he bought me a drink, I'd buy him one in return. If we were dating, I'd expect to take my turn paying for dinner or whatever to. If the guy didn't like it, that'd be the end of that. You don't date a guy to have someone pay for everything for you. You don't marry a guy to have someone to take care of you or pay your bills, which is why I think alimony is a bunch of bullshit.

[hideyoursheep]

I'm sorry NG, I thought you were asking WHY men would "send" you a drink.

[Northern Girl]

I'm sorry NG, I thought you were asking WHY men would "send" you a drink.

I was. What did I say wrong now?

[hideyoursheep]

Well, it's starting to look more like "reasons I don't want guys to send me drinks". Not that there's anything wrong with that...

You're buying me 1 long island, but that doesn't mean you get to act like we came in together, right?:tongue0011:

[Northern Girl]

I've surmised from everyone's comments that buying a stranger a drink is not too common and is more than likely a guy that may be a little shy or lacks confidence for whatever reason to just go and talk to the woman. If that's the case, I know how I would handle that.

Thanks all for your input.

[Northern Girl]

Well, it's starting to look more like "reasons I don't want guys to send me drinks".

Sorry, that's not what I meant. It is flattering, but it is not necessary. If it's just a nice gesture, great. If it's trying to impress me, it doesn't. "Buying me things" doesn't impress me.

[hideyoursheep]

How 'bout another drink before you go?

[Northern Girl]

I think I'm done here. Thanks again, all!

[hideyoursheep]

Did you say "buying strangers drinks is not too common"?

How long have you been single, NG? A week?

C'mon...

[Northern Girl]

Did you say "buying strangers drinks is not too common"?

How long have you been single, NG? A week?

C'mon...

The key word seems to be stranger. Pretty much everyone has said they would go and talk to the woman first and then maybe buy a drink if they hit it off.

Wow, I never knew how inept I was at explaining myself until this thread...

Now let me leave, dammit.

[ELVIS]

How's the "I'm a fanatical Bible-thumping Nurse who can't have a drink because I'm an addict" pick up line going for you?

I suppose it worked as i'm soon to be married...

[Seshmeister]

Good god.

Does his cardinal know!?

[ELVIS]

I don't have a cardinal...

[Seshmeister]

Congratulations just kidding.

I hope this isn't just because your new crowd have a no sex before marriage rule though.