-
Same ole song and dance... -
I think Mark is right. The best thing to do is politely decline. The guy will only take a slight hit if he thinks I'm declining based on his looks alone, but if he has any confidence at all he will realize there are probably other reasons.
So much more to say. I wish I didn't have to go to work now.Same ole song and dance...Comment
-
Classic setup of pervasive dependency & co-dependency... the expectation of something in return is real simple. Provide gift... gain interaction. It's that simple.
Let's be real... unless it's your mother, sister, daughter, wife or a close friend why would any man "spend money on a woman" unless he was looking to at the minimum gain social interation as a starting point to all other options. You don't go to a bar to assist the dehydrated..."If you want to be a monk... you gotta cook a lot of rice...”Comment
-
People still go to bars to "meet people"? How quaint...Why settle for something you have, if it's not as good as something you're out to get?
Originally posted by SeshmeisterIt's like putting up a YouTube of Bach and playing Chopstix on your Bontempi...
Comment
-
Firstly, above I appreciate your candor and the difficulty of what it must be like being an attractive women in a bar just out for happy hour with a few friends...
That being said, I almost never buy drinks for women for the very reasons listed --unless I know them and we're just buds buying each other rounds and I know them or have had some conversations with them.
Conversely, sometimes when I'm at the drink portent/hole in a crowded bar, I sometimes get young twenty-something girls give me the "aren't you going to buy me a drink" puppy-dog look. I find that annoying as fuck...
But to answer the thread question, some guys do because some women apparently enjoy the attention and having suckers buy them things and this is an accepted, cheesy social norm and a way to buy attention and about 10 minutes with a chick...and perhaps some women enjoy it as they see this as some sort of validation, social-proof, or trophy they can hold up in front of the other women they're competing with --or just perhaps having a free night out funded by suckers merely by dressing up (or down). So yes, men can be idiots. But you might also think about the fact that a lot of your fellow gender also egg on this sort of behaviors...Last edited by Nickdfresh; 04-21-2010, 09:45 AM.Comment
-
Above post rewrite:
Firstly, above all else I appreciate your candor and the difficulty of what it must be like being an attractive women in a bar just out for happy hour with a few friends...
That being said, I almost never buy drinks for women for the very reasons listed above --unless I know them and we're just buds buying each other rounds or at least I've have had some conversations with them.
Conversely, sometimes when I'm at the drink portent/hole in a crowded bar, I sometimes get young twenty-something girls give me the "aren't you going to buy me a drink? I'm HOT!" puppy-dog look. I find that annoying as fuck...
But to answer the thread question, some guys do because some women apparently enjoy the attention and having suckers buy them things and this is an accepted, cheesy social norm and a way to buy attention and about 10 minutes with a chick...and perhaps some women enjoy it as they see this as some sort of validation, social-proof, or trophy they can hold up in front of the other women they're competing with --or just perhaps having a free night out funded by suckers merely by dressing up (or down). So yes, men can be idiots. But you might also think about the fact that a lot of your fellow gender also egg on this sort of behaviors...
I think you might also try to understand how traumatic it can be for a man to approach a women he doesn't know and is interested in, however. This is a genetically encoded fear and exists for good reason inside men that are not the typical jock-asshole "alphamale." Alcohol is, unfortunately, one way to mitigate it, and the whole concept of trying to ply women with kindness--or just outright buying them--has been around for ages and is actively celebrated in our culture via film and books. So, yes some men are scumbags hoping to "get lucky" and 'Ben Rothlesburger' a girl after getting her drunk as some guys are fucking ape-like, unsophisticated macho dicks just using their frat-boy games in order to "get lucky.. More commonly, some men are just trying to be nice because they're interested and this is the only learned behavior they have to "break the ice" and express themselves. But perhaps you should be a bit less judgmental in your tone and get off your high horse, because some are probably just looking to ingratiate themselves and are trying to be nice and create and opening and are doing what they've been trained to do since they were children gathering flowers for their mother to show affection and kindness.
But if you don't want the drink, send it back or tell them that you're not interested or are already spoken for in a very nice way. IHMO Or perhaps you could break "the rules®" of "the game™" and try actually approaching a man that is a "nice guy™" that interests you?Last edited by Nickdfresh; 04-21-2010, 10:07 AM.Comment
-
Sorry, but the 20-minute rewrite post editing limit is just gay...Comment
-
Replace, "woman" with complete stranger and that's closer to how I feel.
Obviously, if I'm on the "prowl" I want to at least talk to her first and see if there's a vibe and try to get a read on whether or not she's even worth the time and effort.
In all honesty, going to the bars looking for love is a waste of time.......looking for lust at 1 am, I'm guilty of that but really there's so many better ways to meet women.Originally posted by vandeleurComment
-
I don't think so. I haven't been going out to meet women as much lately cause of work and I keep getting dragged out by heavy, type-A drinkers, which completely destroys my game. But I've witnessed it plenty of times to the point where it was almost blatantly nauseating. Like one time these three 20-something chicks dressed slutty (but 1980s cliche slutty) coming in, pulling up to the bar at one local establishment that becomes a college meat market on Friday and Saturday nights, and the bartender (douchebag bartender that is) immediately pouring them free shots and getting not only drinks, but free backups, so his idiot, crony friends could muscle in on, and take advantage of, some drunk 'hotties.' The girls seemed rather giddy about all this attention as some dick immediate approached and bought one of the chicks (whose breath smelled like garlic butter) a drink and did the typical "I'm a happinin' king of the frat" approach. Another couple of tools just stood behind them. Since I was right next to all this, and the girls grabbed the stool I had been sitting on prior to my returning from the bathroom, I decided to join in the fun.
I approached the one of the three girls I sort of liked, just out of principle--bought her nothing--and got her number despite the fact I was far older than anyone in that situation. The guys looked at me like I had just pulled a magic rabbit out of my ass. Imagine, using personality and a few simple bar tricks to get a women interested in you... :D I could have gone further but wasn't in the mood but ended up meeting her out later but was honestly too appalled with humanity in general to stay around that night...Last edited by Nickdfresh; 04-21-2010, 10:42 AM.Comment
-
See I never hang out at the young people's bar, unless I'm playing there.
Just can't become one of those guys I used to make fun of when I was in my 20's.Originally posted by vandeleurComment
Tweet
Comment