The Sheep Pen

[Nickdfresh]

Canadian Goats are much sexier! Ask the Guess Who!

[MAX]

No sugar tonight in my goats milk, no sugar tonight in my tea. No sugar to stand beside me, no sugar to run with me.............:D

[Rikk]

* * * * * SHEEP PEN ANNOUNCEMENT * * * * *

Wow, the SHEEP PEN is getting stronger and stronger, with many great members and a few morons like BILL LUMBERGH. God, I hate him.

But anyway, even though we believe there can be TOO MANY members of our powerful and fist-fighting gang, we were compelled to add one more member only because he's always posting in here and he's already been one of the greatest fighters in our Pen struggle against the mighty and evil THREE LOCK COCK...er...ROCK.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the latest member of the PEN...

VANZILLA

Now VANZILLA is our first official openly gay member of the Pen. Other Pen Admins are gay (BILL LUMBERGH, POOP BOY), but VANZILLA is the first one that wears it proudly on his shirt. Basically, it's the new Army equal opportunity laws, recently imposed, that have forced us to let one homosexual into our Administration Staff (literally into BILL LUMBERGH, actually). We don't really like him. In fact, if someone asked me what I thought of VAN, I would tell the truth: I hate him. I hate him so much that I want to just knock him to the ground and hit him and hit him and kick him and hit him... And he hasn't made a really consistent album since VEEDON FLEECE.

The Pen is larger than ever. My cock is larger than ever. My ego is larger than ever. Rodents, panther-haters, two-faces and those that try and cross the DUMP or EUAS...watch out!!

Yes, the PEN is stronger than ever. And we also show full respect to our invulnerable allies in the DUMP and EUAS. Those brothers are showing this place that there are certain forces here that could never be reckoned with, let alone comprehended.

I would like to take a moment to describe my ever-growing staff.:D

After that, we'll list the members of the SHEEP PEN.


RIKK

RIKK is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. His friendliness knows no bounds. His caring and brush-off nature is legendary in these parts. Super-intelligent and well-liked Richard Gere-impersonator GUWAPO ROCKER calls RIKK: "Maybe my best friend in real life. I can't believe how well we've always gotten along. He is so great, it just makes me so happy thinking about how good we've been for each other. Just a fantastic human being that I can't envision anyone having a problem with. Too bad he's straight and I'm so gay." RIKK currently resides in Iwo Jima and enjoys Sugar-Free Rice Krispie Treats. Word is, ladies, that he looks just like ROBERT DOWNEY JR. He is a Priest of the Church of ALAN THE PANTHER, the greatest of all the panthers. He is also going to teach your children one day...all about the Pen...



MATT WHITE

MATT WHITE is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He began swimming when he was seventeen and is currently a world class swimmer and athlete. He is also the inventer of the two-second handjob (for men on men) and has killed four people with a hammer. His other PEN members praise him...BILL LUMBERGH: "When I think of MATT WHITE, I think of how much one person can hate another sorry sack of shit." BUENO BOB: "MATT is so fucking argumentative that it makes me so angry. I get so mad I want to hit him with a pool cue until he's dead and then hit him some more. I need fruit roll-ups." MATT currently resides on SHANNON DOHERTY's front lawn and is hoping to "tell her off" for quitting SCARE TACTICS when she was at her career peak. He's also in a relationship with longtime SHEEP PEN chick GRETA, although RIKK hasn't found out about that yet. And when he does, there will be a fight to the death.



BILL LUMBERGH

BILL LUMBERGH is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. BILL began collecting GEORGE MICHAEL memorabilia in the mid-80s and followed GEORGE's early concert career from arena to arena as a Whamhead. NICK D FRESH: "I hate BILL LUMBERGH. There are sorry sons of bitches, and then there's BILL. You don't know how many times he'd be wary of inducting someone into the Pen because then his gay cyber conversations with said individual would be released. And when GEORGE MICHAEL actually posted here, and expressed his fondness for JUDGMENT DAY off FOR UNLAWFUL CARNAL KNOWLEDGE, BILL was kissing his ass and saying, 'Yeah George, that's a great track.' Fucking pathetic. I also noticed the two of them PM'ing each other a lot after that in the online activity page." BILL currently resides in Dover, Delaware and is looking for work for the next three months until MICHAEL-ATHON 2005 this summer, after which he expects to spend the Fall in jail for jumping on George during his Q&A session at the Delaware convention.



NICK D FRESH

NICK D FRESH is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He is a trouble-making buffoon that only joined the SHEEP PEN because RIKK was intending to PM the well-respected poster DIAMOND DEN to offer him the gig but he sent the PM to NICK instead. NICK is not very intelligent and he didn't understand why the PM was addressed to DIAMOND D. He assumed that the "DIAMOND D" greeting was RIKK's playful way of substituting the word "DIAMOND" for "NICK", which people would only do if discussing the jewel-like qualities of the music of NICK CARTER. NICK repsonded enthusiastically with the following PM to RIKK: "Fuck yes! I have nothing else in my life to look forward to. It's so empty and black. In fact, I was about to kill myself until you offered me this job, RIKK." RIKK took pity on this pool fool and gave him the job, though what he does around here, we don't know. NICK currently resides inside PAT O'BRIEN's anus.



BUENO BOB

BUENO BOB is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. GARY COLEMAN once said of him: "Dat mudda is fat! So fukkin' fat!!" ALAN THICKE agrees: "The Army is a great place. But BUENO BOB is the greatest thing about it. Without him, the place would be shit." "I consider myself a sexual man," BOB says. "My sexual prowess knows no bounds. I wake up in the morning and play with my lightsaber. Then, while I'm showering (every four mornings), I close my eyes, use the 'force', and play with my lightsaber again. I like watching recent films with cinema greats like KIRK CAMERON or TRACEY GOLD, and then I begin to play with my lightsaber. It goes on for hours...the perfect circle. Who's scruffy looking? Not this piece of Sith." BROWNSOUND once said of BUENO BOB: "I hate BUENO BOB. There are sorry sons of bitches, and then there's BOB." BOB has many hates in his life. One is STAR WARS and the other is sheep. But he joined the SHEEP PEN because he thought we like to make fun of real farm sheep...you know, the kind with real wool and everything. BOB's IQ was last reported at 68. He currently resides in JAKE'S DINER out on ROUTE 64 by GRAHAM'S WORMS AND AMMO.



POOP BOY

TJVHOU812 is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. Known to his friends and many lovers as POOP BOY, he joined the Army in the summer and was actually a SHEEP OF THE WEEK. His incessant love of all things SAMMY HAGAR, plus his knows-no-bounds stupidity made him a quick target of RIKK and his friends' "pick on the smaller person" level of fighting. RIKK: "I like to pick on people I can beat because that's the kind of integrity I possess. I also like kicking people when they're down." For some reason, the PEN gang realized that POOP BOY was really one of them, and (demonstrating their insanity) they decided to have him join the Administration Staff. NICK: "POOP BOY joining the Pen was probably the greatest day of my life." DLR7884: "When I joined the Pen, POOP BOY was there to greet me with open arms. It was so fucking gay and annoying that I hit him until he bled and was crying. Then I hit him again and again until he stopped making any noise. And then I hit him some more. I hate him." POOP BOY says of his Pen status: "Being in the PEN is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. It is so great that sometimes at night, I just can't believe my luck. My life is complete, and it's all because of the SHEEP PEN. Wow...I am just so happy, I can tell you." POOP BOY currently resides in Nashville and is working on his second album, I Think I'll Get Drunk and Then Go Home and Hit Her Before Shooting Something and then Complaining About Foreigners.



DLR7884

DLR7884 is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. He is also the picture of non-judgmental, calm and loving behavior. "I am at one with the world. My karma is with the Lord, and I cannot accept that there is not good in every single soul I come across. I like to look for the good in everybody. If someone insults me, I say, 'Hey, let's work this out, brother.' I love you like I love all my brothers around the world." Ever since joining the Pen, he has had major issues with the way Pen staff get involved in fights at every step of the way. His avatar speaks peace, and he has wanted RIKK to know that fighting is not the way to solve the ARMY's problems. DLR7884: "I can't believe how much fighting goes on. And I want no part of it. I'm here to help people." DLR7884 resides in Detroit where he leads an idyllic country life. He was also recently modded and has taken advantage of this by leaving subliminal messages in the mod room, proclaiming that the SHEEP PEN will one day run the site. In fact, everyone knows that the DUMP, EUAS and the PEN will one day run the world. And everyone will be happy. And those that aren't will be put in the re-education camps...



ACADEMIC PUNK

ACADEMIC PUNK is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. His joining the SHEEP PEN was a natural step because the coolest posters need some place to congregate and be cool and pretend they're bigger than they really are in real life. ACADEMIC PUNK: "I'm a loser in real life. I've never worked. I've never had a girlfriend. I'm a virgin. I live at home and can't even read very well. My family hates me and I hate myself. Basically, I'm exactly like RIKK. He is such a fucking loser. So is POOP BOY. So is NICK. So is MATT. So is BILL. So is 7884. So is BOB. They're all losers. RIKK asked me to join because he said having a Pen and fighting with other internet losers brings about the kind of mental stability and ego-stabilization that I could afford if I were employed and had a good health plan and were literate. I'm so thankful for the opportunity." BILL has called ACADEMIC PUNK "maybe the greatest friend of my life." ACADEMIC PUNK currently resides at home where he has learned to read the names of the games on the display covers of his older brother Leon's Playstation Games.



And our latest member...

VANZILLA

VANZILLA only joined the Pen because he sent RIKK a cheque for $50. RIKK: "I didn't want him in there. But how could I say no to $50? I mean, that's liquor money for one weekend for me. I have no values or integrity. I don't work, think, live, do anything, except get drunk every weekend. And VAN's $50 sure made me fucking happy and I don't care if the whole SHEEP PEN goes down the shitter just so I can lose consciousness a couple of times over a so-called 'week end' when the rest of my week isn't anything either. I also intend on taking up VAN's entire profile talking about myself..." VAN hails from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. He was one of the first young Africans fed by Bob Geldof's LIVE AID tribute in 1985. VANZILLA: "Basically, I was lying on the ground eating sand, and Bob Geldof, Bono and Sting ran over a sand dune and shoved rice and bananas in my mouth. I hadn't eaten a proper meal for weeks, and first I threw up and then my stomach exploded. I was dead for 14 minutes until Phil Collins revived me with mouth-to-mouth. It was at this moment, hearing him whisper 'Su-su-sudio' in my ear, that I realized that I'm gay. I decided, 20 years later, to join the SHEEP PEN." VAN now runs a sand farm in New York State and wishes death upon Sally Struthers every day. Welcome aboard VAN!!

[vanzilla]

Damn, now that I've been outed...maybe I should change my avatar to this...

SHEEP PEN FRUIT!

[Rikk]

:D

[MAX]

Buncha cunts I say......... LOL!!!

[Rikk]

Originally posted by MAX
Buncha cunts I say......... LOL!!!

The SHEEP PEN is the most powerful force in the universe.

[vanzilla]

But seriously ladies and gentlemen, I'd just like to say what an honor it is to be the latest member of the pen.

The Sheep Pen is to The Roth Army what Milli Vanilli is to the Grammys. And to be a part of that - I will be forever grateful.

And in case anyone was wondering if I was really gay - Just take a look at my boy Rikk's signature.

ROCK ON PEN SOLDIERS!!!!

[Rikk]

Originally posted by vanzilla
And in case anyone was wondering if I was really gay - Just take a look at my boy Rikk's signature.

Indeed. Only a gay man would somehow find the manly ANGELA LANSBURY to be hot...:p

[vanzilla]

Whatever dude. Your just jealous because you didn't get in on this hot 3-some...











Now that was a HOT NIGHT!

[MAX]

Originally posted by Rikk
The SHEEP PEN is the most powerful force in the universe.

Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a sheep is insignificant next to the power of EUAS.

[Rikk]

Originally posted by MAX
Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a sheep is insignificant next to the power of EUAS.

I knew someone would catch my STAR WARS reference.

But you're not in EUAS. You're bantha fodder...

[vanzilla]

Originally posted by Rikk
The SHEEP PEN is the most powerful force in the universe.

NEXT TO THIS BADASS MOTHA FUCKA RIGHT HERE

[MAX]

Originally posted by Rikk
But you're not in EUAS.

You don't think so? LOL!!!

[Rikk]

Originally posted by MAX
You don't think so? LOL!!!

No offense, but you're getting awfully desperate for a reputation around here.