Sanders 2016!!

[DONNIEP]

But you are saying you only did phase 1 with the fake Swedish girl?

His whole point was phase II.

No, there was no ice involved. The only thing like that I've come across is this chick I knew who was best friends with one of my girlfriends. So we're over at her apartment one night and I'm getting some ice out of the freezer cause the girls are drinking orange juice and Malibu and I'm digging around and there are condoms full of frozen water in there. So I fix the drinks then grab one out of the freezer and walk in with it and ask what the hell its for lol. And she says she fucks herself with them. No shit. So my girlfriend is like doesn't that hurt? And she says nope, she uses her dildo and vibrator and an ice dong and it's awesome. And no, me and my girlfriend never tried it.

[Seshmeister]

Wow that's a new one one me. It seems counterintuitive that an ice cock would be a good thing. Maybe all the 100s of female posters we have here these days can chip in with their opinions...

What this roadie said and in a wide eyed way that lived with me to this day was, and obviously as a roadie he was not fucking Shakespeare, 'the ice makes your balls lock and then explode'.

So take from that what you will, I guess ever since I've been a little HotIceBJCurious.

I had forgotten about this for so long, I'm going to ask people when I'm out tomorrow night if I don't get an answer from you people...

[Anonymous]

No, there was no ice involved. The only thing like that I've come across is this chick I knew who was best friends with one of my girlfriends. So we're over at her apartment one night and I'm getting some ice out of the freezer cause the girls are drinking orange juice and Malibu and I'm digging around and there are condoms full of frozen water in there. So I fix the drinks then grab one out of the freezer and walk in with it and ask what the hell its for lol. And she says she fucks herself with them. No shit. So my girlfriend is like doesn't that hurt? And she says nope, she uses her dildo and vibrator and an ice dong and it's awesome. And no, me and my girlfriend never tried it.

Well, that certainly would cool her fires down below...

I had never heard of this yet.

Did it ever get stuck in there, like when you lick a lamppost in winter, or something?

[FORD]

Ice cubes melt too fast. Just give the chick some Altoids, and get similar results.

[DONNIEP]

Ford makes a good point. Toothpaste works better though - you don't have to have a damn mint in your mouth, it's not as strong, and it wears off pretty quick.

[Seshmeister]

Thank fuck - we don't have altoids here i thought it might be some VD thing...

[DONNIEP]

Well, that certainly would cool her fires down below...

I had never heard of this yet.

Did it ever get stuck in there, like when you lick a lamppost in winter, or something?

Apparently not. I guess it would be all melty and then she'd shove it in her hot hole and melt it down like one of those Rocket Pops we used to all eat. Who knows.

And this chick was insane, by the way. She's the one who got dumped by a boyfriend, drank a shit ton, then showed up at my apartment, swallowed a whole bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol, then came up to my apartment and told me and my girlfriend what she's done and that she wanted to die. So I'm on the phone with Poison Control, they tell me if she doesn't get to the hospital NOW she's going to die. She refuses to let my girlfriend take her, I kick her out because the last thing I need is a dead whore in my apartment, and she sits in the hall waiting to die. So Rhonda makes me feel all guilty so I called the Rescue Squad and went out in the hall and told her she was going to the hospital, whether she liked it or not. Now, I'm half drunk and pissed off because I was ready to bang my chick. And here's this idiot dying in the hallway outside my apartment. And of course the cops come with the Ambulance and they start harassing me and search my apartment and it really wrecked my Saturday nite.

The stupid chick went to the hospital, got her stomach pumped and she was fine. And of course Rhonda is pissed off at me for days for not being more concerned about her friend. My apartment ain't no Suicide Prevention flop house!!

[FORD]

Thank fuck - we don't have altoids here i thought it might be some VD thing...

Seriously?? I honestly thought the Brits invented them.



How can you get a more British sounding name than "Callard & Bowser", for fucks sake??

[Anonymous]

Ford makes a good point. Toothpaste works better though - you don't have to have a damn mint in your mouth, it's not as strong, and it wears off pretty quick.

Ah, but mints go well with cranberry "beer".

[Anonymous]

Seriously?? I honestly thought the Brits invented them.



How can you get a more British sounding name than "Callard & Bowser", for fucks sake??

Jesus fuck, that is an 1800s American product if I ever saw one.

Look at the fonts, the whole text structure & spacing & shit! And yes, there's a shit ton more British sounding names than "Callard & Bowser", because, again, that sounds like an 1800s American product.

You really should know more about your country, Ford.

[DONNIEP]

Jesus fuck, that is an 1800s American product if I ever saw one.

Look at the fonts, the whole text structure & spacing & shit! And yes, there's a shit ton more British sounding names than "Callard & Bowser", because, again, that sounds like an 1800s American product.

You really should know more about your country, Ford.

Actually it's a Brit product. Never tried one, so I have no idea what they taste like. I'm guessing really minty.

[Anonymous]

Apparently not. I guess it would be all melty and then she'd shove it in her hot hole and melt it down like one of those Rocket Pops we used to all eat. Who knows.

And this chick was insane, by the way. She's the one who got dumped by a boyfriend, drank a shit ton, then showed up at my apartment, swallowed a whole bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol, then came up to my apartment and told me and my girlfriend what she's done and that she wanted to die. So I'm on the phone with Poison Control, they tell me if she doesn't get to the hospital NOW she's going to die. She refuses to let my girlfriend take her, I kick her out because the last thing I need is a dead whore in my apartment, and she sits in the hall waiting to die. So Rhonda makes me feel all guilty so I called the Rescue Squad and went out in the hall and told her she was going to the hospital, whether she liked it or not. Now, I'm half drunk and pissed off because I was ready to bang my chick. And here's this idiot dying in the hallway outside my apartment. And of course the cops come with the Ambulance and they start harassing me and search my apartment and it really wrecked my Saturday nite.

The stupid chick went to the hospital, got her stomach pumped and she was fine. And of course Rhonda is pissed off at me for days for not being more concerned about her friend. My apartment ain't no Suicide Prevention flop house!!

I got a similar story, but not as bad.

This chick I was going out with had a Brazilian roommate, & even though she was living with me, I kept telling her it was worth it to keep that apartment & roommate.

Now, one night, her Brazilian roommate was in a bar & the police dropped in to check for everyone's IDs & shit, because the bar was known to constantly be full of illegal immigrants. Now, the roomie, being a dumbass, had left her papers at home before going to a bar where this kind of shit happened all the time.

So we were laying in bed, luckily we were done for the night & she gets a call from her roomie to go get the fucking papers.

Well, my immediate reaction was to ask why the dumb bitch didn't call her boyfriend instead. My girl explained to me, as if it was a very normal thing - unfortunately it is - that her boyfriend wouldn't give a shit.

Yes. This retarded bitch was going out with some douchebag she was scared shitless of, was insanely jealous of her & had already threatened to kill her when she dumped him once, so was using *me* through her friend to do the kind of shit her boyfriend should be doing.

And my girl didn't see anything wrong with that, because we were just helping out a friend.

So we had to get up in the middle of the night, go to her apartment, pick up the papers & get them to the police before the stupid cunt was deported.

Needless to say, I had a very serious conversation with my girl the next day & her roommate's mooching stopped right then & there.

ALSO needless to say, it was ok for her retarded roommate to wake us up in the middle f the night for dumb shit, yet a threesome was completely out of the question.

Why, oh why, do women lack even the most basic common sense?

[Anonymous]

Actually it's a Brit product. Never tried one, so I have no idea what they taste like. I'm guessing really minty.

Well ok, we're both right.

They're made in England, yet "Altoids are less widely available in Britain—their country of origin—than in the US to which they are exported."

So it makes sense the packaging looks American, it's meant to be sold over there. And yes, "The brand was created by the London-based Smith & Company in the 1780s, and later became part of the Callard & Bowser company in the 19th century." It's an 1800s product.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altoids

[Anonymous]

I would like to apologise to Ford for correcting him when he was right.

I'm man enough to own up my mistakes.

[DONNIEP]

I got a similar story, but not as bad.

This chick I was going out with had a Brazilian roommate, & even though she was living with me, I kept telling her it was worth it to keep that apartment & roommate.

Now, one night, her Brazilian roommate was in a bar & the police dropped in to check for everyone's IDs & shit, because the bar was known to constantly be full of illegal immigrants. Now, the roomie, being a dumbass, had left her papers at home before going to a bar where this kind of shit happened all the time.

So we were laying in bed, luckily we were done for the night & she gets a call from her roomie to go get the fucking papers.

Well, my immediate reaction was to ask why the dumb bitch didn't call her boyfriend instead. My girl explained to me, as if it was a very normal thing - unfortunately it is - that her boyfriend wouldn't give a shit.

Yes. This retarded bitch was going out with some douchebag she was scared shitless of, was insanely jealous of her & had already threatened to kill her when she dumped him once, so was using *me* through her friend to do the kind of shit her boyfriend should be doing.

And my girl didn't see anything wrong with that, because we were just helping out a friend.

So we had to get up in the middle of the night, go to her apartment, pick up the papers & get them to the police before the stupid cunt was deported.

Needless to say, I had a very serious conversation with my girl the next day & her roommate's mooching stopped right then & there.

ALSO needless to say, it was ok for her retarded roommate to wake us up in the middle f the night for dumb shit, yet a threesome was completely out of the question.

Why, oh why, do women lack even the most basic common sense?

Womarns are trouble. If they didn't have a pussy we wouldn't bother with them. And if her pussy looks like a stepped-on-cabbage? Hahahahaha!!